Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Can You Tell It Was a Bad Weekend At Work?

I want to begin by saying that not every day/weekend is like this. In fact, this was really a perfect storm of events that all happened in a single Saturday/Sunday, but I want to prevent them in the future. A preemptive strike if you will. So read, laugh, cry, sympathize with me, but whatever you do, please reference this list before your next trip to your local Target/Walmart/Grocery Store. The employees will LOVE you.

1) Coupons. I am all for coupons. I went through a good year long period where I was an avid coupon clipper, and one time I planned so well that I saved over $100 on a shopping trip. So if you come through my line and you have 7000 coupons, I am all for it. But with this being said.... PLEASE KNOW WHICH COUPONS YOU WANT TO USE. There is almost nothing more aggravating to a cashier than to stand there and wait after ringing up your $250 order while you dig through an envelope of coupons to find your $.50 off the laundry detergent. Because first of all, in the scheme of $250, making it $249.50 is not worth wasting 5 minutes of my time, and everyone else behind you and their time. And second of all, when you triumphantly emerge from your coupon mess, holding the wrinkled offender in your hands, I am no longer happy that I'm saving you money. I am looking for any reason not to be able to use it because you made me mad. So it better not be expired, it better be for EXACTLY what you got, or else I'm not letting it slide. Have it ready beforehand, and you will avoid all this.

2) DO NOT lean over and take the bags while I am filling them. It doesn't "help." Most of the time I'm not done with the bag, your arms come over into MY space in an awkward way, and get in the way of everything I am trying to do, and no, it is NOT helpful. If we are all done and you want to ask to make sure you got everything, or peek over and check for yourself, this is fine. I'm not perfect and I have totally forgotten to give someone a bag before. But don't just think you can reach over and take it. Let me do my job, thankyouverymuch.

3) Do not leave your cart, (buggy, basket, whatever you call it,) in my lane or at the end of the lane and leave because you think you can carry all the bags without it. I don't care whether you can or not. You pass the cart terminal on your way out. It is pure laziness to leave it there, its rude because this means that I need to move it, (and do you think I have time for that when I'm ringing up literally hundreds of people a day?? No I do not,) and it gets in the way of every single other person in line behind you.

4) If you and your significant other come through my line and you decide in the 2 minutes it takes to complete your order that I am really cool and you both seem equally eager to hang out, and you BOTH give me your separate cell phone numbers, well.. I am going to think you are swingers. And I am not going to call because even though it makes us prude, J and I just are not into that. Call me old fashioned. And if you are not a swinger, you totally came across as one so maybe don't be so creepy next time.

5) I know that I'm wearing a name tag, but it really creeps me out to have you call me by my name. I've never met you before, so saying "Hi Rachel!!" catches me off guard every time.

6) If you are coming to return something, please bring the entire thing. DO NOT come to me with one pair of socks out of a pack of three and demand to exchange that ONE pair with the itty bittiest hole in them for another 3 pack. I'm just not going to let you. And when you storm off all mad because now its my fault that you need to go find the other 2 pairs, I have no sympathy for you. I'm simply laughing at you as soon as you are out of range.

6.5) Along with that, I am also laughing at you if you come to me with one thing to return from the dollar spot. Especially if you let it slip that you live a half hour away and can't believe you had to come all the way back because your grandson didn't like it. Did it ever occur to you that getting that $1.08 back does not equal the cost of gas for an hour long round trip? Throw it away and call it a loss.

7) And last but definitely most important. Please wear something that covers your bottom half. I do not like to look up from my register and see that you decided to wear a short coat with absolutely NOTHING underneath, bent over your cart so everyone can see your everything. The customers in my line don't like to see it either, and I'm sure the words, "Oh my God that woman has no pants on!!" were not words she was ever planning on uttering in Target. (Or any public place other than South Beach for that matter.) Poor girl. She was way to young to see that, and the offender was WAY too old to not be wearing at least a pair of underwear.

So yes. These are all true stories of my weekend. Some are specific to this weekend, some happen every single day. (I'm hoping/praying/crossing my fingers that #7 never happens again. It was life changing, and not in a good, Maca Powder way.) I'm positive that none of my fabulous readers are guilty of any of these things. But for the rest of the troubled world, I'm hoping you will pass it on, because its back to work on Friday and I just don't know if I will live through it. I feel a stroke coming on..


Murdock's mama said...

Oh my gosh...I cannot belive #7..that is WAY too much!! What in the world was that lady thinking?!


Will Burke said...

Testify Sister! I do cash too, and especially relate to 5 - that "Hi Rachel/Will" crap soundsd like a tele-marketer to me, and I freakin HATE it!

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