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Friday, February 5, 2010

Letters Of Intent

This idea for Letters of Intent could not have come at a more perfect time. It came from Michelle over at Table For Nine, (a blogger that always makes me smile, so go check her out!!) and I decided it will be a fabulous way to vent some frustration I have this week. Here goes!!

Dear Target:
Please, just ONE TIME, pay attention to my availability and schedule me correctly. This includes the days I am available to work, (NOT Mondays,) the time on said days that I can come in, (after 4, hello, you are not my real job, you don't pay nearly well enough,) and the time I request off. (Do I need to remind you of the Christmas disaster?) Thanks, I appreciate your attention to this issue.

Dear Facebook:
Stop shutting down every time I click on something, and making me log back in. Its annoying, and even though I have come to like you much more than Myspace, I have to say Myspace gave me almost no trouble for 3 years. Don't MAKE me cancel my page and go back, because when you work correctly, you give me more joy than Myspace ever could.

Dear (Almost) All My Friends:

Stop having babies. Its making me want babies, and I'm not in the position to do so. With that being said, I cannot wait to come home and meet each and every one of the 6 new additions that have come since I was last home. Love all of you even if you give boyfriend a headache from hearing me beg for a child :)

Dear Boyfriend:

You have been fabulous the past few weeks. Don't stop. I don't know what happened but I'm loving you more and more lately, and I am so happy we are together. (Now that everyone threw up, I will move on... kisses :) )

Dear Old Men at Work:

Why do you think I would date you? I am 26 years old and you are all old enough to be my father. I don't find it flattering that you hit on me, I actually vomit a little every time we have interaction. And speaking of my father, his tone of voice when I told him of this latest incident leads me to believe that if he meets you, the delightful combo of NY and NJ will come out, and you will get a beat down where you don't remember your own name. This also goes for the boyfriend... he is also not impressed, he lives RIGHT HERE, and his bones don't break as easily. Do we have an understanding? Because next time I have to fend you off, you won't need to worry about them, because I am a NY girl born and raised and I will embarrass the shit out of you.

Ahh, thanks Michelle. I feel much better :)

7 comments:

Michelle Hoad said...

Feels good, huh?

Will Burke said...

Honestly, I don't want to be That Guy giving unsolicited advice, but I've seen people getting screwed-over by naming their employer in Blogs. And those old guys need to grow the eff up and handle their mid-life crisis' like adults!

MODG said...

babies! It should make you NOT want one.

Rachel said...

Yes Michelle, it felt excellent. Thank you for the idea :)

And Will, I thought about that. I don't think I've mentioned where I work full time, but Target is on the side. Not that I WANT to be fired, so I will try to dial down the complaining.. but they get on my nerves. And to clarify, the nasty old men come from the "real" job, not Target.

I wish it made me not want babies. But seeing how happy all of them are to be mommies makes me a little jealous. But its all good, because I can still take naps and sleep in.. they can't :)

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

here here to MODG and also, old men don't realize they are old men, hence the hitting on

LiLu said...

How did people vent before blogs?? :-)

Rachel said...

LiLu- We annoyed the crap out of our family, friends, boyfriends, husbands, random people on the street... no? Just me?