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Monday, September 20, 2010

It's Been A While

Hello everyone!  Remember me?  I've been gone for a while, for a few reasons.  My system at work is down at the moment and so I decided to take some time and try to explain myself.

The first, (and main,) reason for not posting is because J and I are having serious problems right now.  I don't want to get all into it, but we live together and that makes for a pretty uncomfortable household.  The good thing is that for 4 days out of the week, we don't tend to run into each other.  The weekends are a whole other story.  I've gotten to the point where I don't look forward to Fridays, I dread them.  I dread the weekends, and hate being home.  The tension is really stressful, and it's causing me to shut down a little and kind of turn inward, hence not blogging.  I mostly want to chill with Molly, go walking with her, watch TV, and sleep.  I've noticed that I will shut my phone off or simply not answer it because I don't feel like talking about it.  Technically, we are not together right now.  Financially, it's not as simple as it should be to move out so we are kind of stuck living together for now.  Thank God for two separate bedrooms and opposite work schedules, that's all I have to say.  We are cordial to each other, but it still is stressful. 

On top of relationship troubles, my family and I are not really getting along either.  This is more complicated, but at the same time it's more common and familiar.  There is always some kind of drama happening there, we can never get along for any real length of time especially when we are all together in person.  This last trip home wasn't as pleasant as I had hoped and there hasn't been any resolve since then.  Again, I don't want to really get all into it but it's adding to my stress.

I am trying to work through things as best as I can.  Molly and I walked 8 miles this weekend.  Each day we walked 4, and I mean really walked.  I was out of breath and sweating, and I'm pretty sore today from it.  I wasn't in the mood to run, but I almost think walking kicked my ass just as bad.  I have the mother of all headaches today, but if it goes away in time I am going to take her out again after work.  I'm thinking a shorter walk, finished up with some time on the stepper at the complex fitness center.  I will see how I feel, and how much I get into the groove of walking.  That was actually my plan for yesterday but once we started and I could see Molly was enjoying herself, I just kept on walking instead. 

I've been eating basically all the same things.  I don't have my camera with me so no pics today, but I have been making homemade nachos lately and they are so super good.  I take tortilla chips and cover them with pico de gallo and black olives, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and bake them at 350 for about 15 minutes.  I eat them with refried beans, sour cream and guac.  It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but it could be worse and they taste SOO good.  I've been experimenting with pizza, and mixing half vegan cheese with the regular mozzarella that I use.  It tasted just fine and cuts down on all that cheese. 

In a nutshell, that's been my life the past few weeks.  I don't know if I'm coping the best way, but even if I don't necessarily feel like chatting a whole lot, at least I'm channeling some of the stress into exercising and cooking.  I need to try to get back into blogging because I do really enjoy it, so we will see.  I hope everyone is doing well and I will be back soon :)

4 comments:

Candance said...

"I've gotten to the point where I don't look forward to Fridays, I dread them. I dread the weekends, and hate being home."

OMG, that so resonated with me because it wasn't too long ago I was in the same place-and in the same financial situation where it wasn't so easy to just move out. It sucked. I got fat. But, once you can get out and move on, it'll be better. You'll be a new person. You'll be amazed at how few headaches you get.

Hang in there, Girl!

Will Burke said...

Sorry about your situation -- it sounds pretty bleak. Don't forget that you have a great sounding-board right here, but I totally get the introversion.

WhisperingWriter said...

I'm sorry. You should definately blog more, it does help.

Brittany @ A Healthy Slice of Life said...

Miss you! Hope you're doing OK...