Throw Dirt On Me... And Grow A Wild Flower

Happy Thursday everyone!  I hope y'all are having a great day.  I know I am... for one reason... it's FREE WEEZY DAY!!!  I don't know if I've ever touched on my musical preference on the blog before.  Or maybe I have, I'm not really sure.  But the people who really know me, know that I love rap/hip hop.  I've loved it since a friend's brother gave me a ride and he was blaring DMX the whole way.  I was hooked from then on out, and that had to be 1998 or so.  While the rest of my friends were discovering Indie bands and Lilith Fair, I was discovering Diddy, (back when he was Puffy,) Bone Thugs, Jay Z and so on.  When my college revamped its gym to having personal TVs, I would be rocking out on the treadmill to the BET countdown and getting really weird looks from the girl next to me.  I still to this day don't quite know another girl who has the same taste as I do in music.  (Except Kailey, who had the same idea as I did today!)  I usually bond more with guys over this.  Anyway, why am I telling you this?  Because ever since I saw him in the Destiny's Child "Soldier" video, Lil Wayne has been my all time favorite rapper.  He was arrested last year on a craptastic weapons charge and was finally released today!!

source

That's my man right there.  The one who pushes me through my workouts, wakes me up when I'm falling asleep at my desk, the one who produces lines that have become this blog post's title and previous facebook status':

"I don't think you're beautiful, I think you're beyond it."

"Confidence is a stain they can't wipe off."

"Just breathe baby, God's got a blessing to spare." 

That last one I am seriously considering tattooing on my wrist.

In other news, I am proud to say that I have successfully completed Jillian DVD's every day so far this week.  My goal was to do them every day but my legs are crying for a break today.  No biggie, I'll just work out Saturday when I was planning to break instead.  Monday and Tuesday were No More Trouble Zones, which I'm slowly getting better at.  I still can't do the whole thing straight through but I'm getting there.  Yesterday I tried the Shred that I borrowed from a friend.  I'm glad I borrowed it, because I didn't love it.  I was unable to make it through without taking a break so there is no doubt that it's a good workout, but it wasn't long enough for me.  I wasn't sweating like crazy or red in the face or feeling awesome afterwards.  I think it's a great choice for some people, but not for me.  I think I'm going to go with Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism.  I've heard that alternating that with NMTZ makes for excellent results.  We will see!  For tonight though, I will be chilling with her

And her

And eating some of this

And think about what he will release next :)

I'm Pretty Lame..

Hi everyone!!  Did you all have a good holiday weekend?  Halloween seems to have come and gone without a trace here.  I went outside at like 6 on Sunday night and did not see a single trick or treater.  It made me feel a little better about not accepting them at my apartment.  Molly would probably have a stroke with all that knocking so I avoid it :(   I did get a little share of the fun last weekend at a friend's pumpkin carving party.  (I did not carve.  I drank sangria and made fun of everyone else.  Someone had to do it.)

I also rocked these awesome tights

And these awesome eyelashes, which were hot pink BTW

It was a fun time :)  As for the actual Halloween weekend however, I was not in any sort of mood to do anything.  For starters, I gave blood on Friday.  This always makes me feel like crap for about 24 hours, just all kinds of headache-y and tired.  On top of that, Friday started the dreaded Time Of The Month.  Which for me is about as fun as it gets so I was enjoying cramps and headaches from that all weekend as well.  Friday night I knew I was doomed so my evening consisted of my bed and some of this..

It was pretty fabulous, minus the headache, cramps and foul mood.  Saturday night was basically the same, except swap in some unphoto'd pad Thai.  I did have a little fun on Saturday night though.  It started out innocently enough... see, I'm being really stubborn about not turning the heat on yet.  It's getting to be pretty cold at night so I bundle up and cover up and that's enough for me.  But then I started worrying a little about Molly... she sleeps on the floor, and I'm mean so she doesn't have a bed.  She was wrapped up in the tightest little ball and I was worried she might be cold.  I decided to put her in one of my old shirts to keep her comfy, so I went and put this red one on her. 

I had no clue how hilarious this would be.  This face just screams, "You're insane.  Take this off me NOW."  Oh my God, I was laughing so hard I was crying.  She wouldn't let me roll the sleeves up so she was kind of walking around all stiff legged and confused.  Eventually she lay down and went to sleep.  We took it off in the morning.  Oh, the fun I have torturing my little dog sometimes!

Well, I'm going to relax now and watch tonight's 90210.  I did the Jillian workout and I think it's time to sink into bed.  Have a great night :)

Oops... Did I Just Eat Bacon?

I totally did.  By "accident."  But it's all good :)  Remember my potluck at my office?  The one where I made banana pudding? 

Well, that's where it happened.  Most of the food at the potluck was meat-based so I had very little options.  The options I had, I did not request the full story.  I was in full on "don't ask, don't tell" mode.  One of these options was clam chowder, and I LOVE clam chowder.  You all know I eat seafood so when I saw it on the table I was pretty excited.  The woman who made it started to tell me about it, because she knows I don't eat meat, and I stopped her midsentence and said, "If there is bacon in it, I don't want to know.  I will either discover it and pick it out, or else I won't find anything."  She looked at me like I was slightly insane and just nodded her head.  I got a bowl.  I started eating.  I definitely ate a chunk of bacon.  I spent the next minute or so picking the rest out, and happily finished it.  She told me later there was also chicken stock in it, so I guess it was a vegetarian fail all the way around.

A year ago, (hell, a few months ago,) this would have prevented me from even eating it.  I was pretty strict about the meat intake.  I still don't eat meat on purpose or anything like that, but I have created a new ruel for myself.  When it comes to potlucks, holidays, dinners at a friend's or out somewhere, I'm not going to stress over a little chicken stock or possible meat in certain dishes.  Life is too short to worry about whether I'm being strict enough with my eating choices to the point of not enjoying a social gathering.  It's sort of the same epipheny I had when I stopped my vegan eating... I truly love cheese and greek yogurt.  I could give them up, but I don't want too.  The thought of never having parmesan cheese or cream cheese ever again is a little more than I can bear.  (This is also why I still eat seafood.)  I miss steak, but I don't need it so badly that I will break down and have one.  But clam chowder at a potluck?  Am I really going to let a little "don't ask don't tell" bacon deter me from eating something that I don't regularly eat, something that I enjoy?  No.  I'm just not going to do that.  Life is too short not to have a little clam chowder here and there.  With that being said, here is a shoutout to my co-worker for making Mexican layered dip with beans instead of beef because she was thinking of me :)  While that was very nice of her, I don't ever expect people to do that whenever I come over to eat, or when there is a function at work. 

I also will not listen to my boss when he points to the shredded pork or the sausage balls or the crockpot full of meatballs, and tells me they are vegetarian.

Part of My Catch-Up

Good evening bloggy friends :)  Anyone else attempting Jenna's Old Fashioned Banana Pudding and rocking out to BET in the background?  No?  Just me?  Ok then.  Remember yesterday when I said I had a whole other post planned out?  I decided now is time for that post :)

First things first.  I had a great weekend!  I did a lot of walking/running with this girl.

I went to a park in town with my good friend Jenny and walked her two dogs.  It was beautiful, we walked a trail through the woods around a lake.  I never even knew the park was there, and it's literally maybe 3 miles from my apartment.  The weather has been so nice lately, 60's and 70's so there was no crazy sweating.  It was just a gorgeous day.

Jenny and Boyd

I completed the weekend making a homemade pizza, vegetarian chili, and cornbread.  The weather has make me want chili and now I have enough to last all week!  No pics this time around, but I will post the recipe next time I make it.

Jay and I are still broken up, and still living together.  It's getting less awful as we seem to have an unspoken pact to try to get along.  He still pisses me off, but until we can find other living arrangements I guess this is how it has to be.  I have the most amazing friends to help me through all this crap though.  I got this adorable care package in the mail from my high school friend Juliana.

Isn't she adorable?  I'm not gonna lie, I shed a little tear when I opened it.  It was super thoughtful and made my day.  (There was also a pack of M&M's in there.  I don't, um, know where those got to..)  I have to say that I have the best group of girlfriends that get me through anything and everything. 

There may be a little more to say since I've been gone for so long... I've eaten lots of good stuff, had a blogger come visit, and just gone through everyday life.  But I've been up and at 'em since 7 this morning so I think I'm going to go snuggle in my bed and watch TV.  I haven't stopped ALL DAY.  I will see you all tomorrow with my banana pudding review from coworkers :)

One more thing:  Those two beautiful ladies I spoke about in this post have each started a blog.  Jenny's is about life with her 24-going-on-7 year old husband and is hilarious.  Juliana's is about a little of this and a little of that, living in NYC and being fabulous :)  AND, my lil bro started one as well about politics.  He can be serious, but I see it taking some humorous turns.  Looks like I've been inspirational.  I'll go ahead and brush my shoulder off.. go check them out and give some love as they are all new to this blogging thing and deserve attention!  Have a great night peeps :)

                                                                                

Well, I've Bashed Cosmo... Now It's Marie Claire's Turn

I want you to know that I had a whole 'nother topic planned for today.  (I'm so, so sorry I've been so absent.  I'm working on it.)  I planned to tell you about my weekend, the first in a while that's been honestly relaxing and refreshing.  The one where I hung out with a good friend, walked 3 dogs, took a couple really good naps and ate some really good food.  Yep, that's what I was going to talk about... till this hot mess took over the blogging community today.  Take a minute... read it... I'll wait..

I want to say that out of the "Big 6," I only follow two, Kath and Jenna.  You know Jenna, she has been the inspiration for a few of my recipes on the blog.  However, I do follow a whole lot of other healthy living blogs and never have I ever seen anything to warrant this kind of article.  To say that people who are truly living a healthy lifestyle may either have disorders or influence others to have disorders is ridiculous.  I'm confused as to when a healthy, strong body became synonymous with unhealthy.  Is this because obesity is SO RAMPANT in America now that when we see someone at a healthy weight we automatically assume they are underweight and unhealthy?  Since when did it become unacceptable to be upset when an injury prevents us from working out?  This claim was made towards Jenna, who cried one day because her feet were too blistered to run.  Um... so?  Aren't injuries frustrating?  Isn't it possible that she might love running and be upset when she is physically unable?  I mean damn, I played an entire season of soccer in high school with a stress fracture, taping my foot before each and every game and practice.  Was I suffering from exercise bulimia, or simply just maybe could I not even entertain the thought of taking the season off?  I loved soccer, and playing through a minor injury was not even a question.

Among other ridiculous mentions in the article... I love the part where she mentions that at the Healthy Living Summit, bloggers chose yogurt and fruit over the croissants and muffins, and one of the 6 made a comment that those kinds of foods were not asked for.  Wow, the audacity to actually eat fruit for breakfast instead of a pastry?  At a Healthy Living conference??  Oh, the insanity.  And yet, somehow this is looked at as a bad thing.  Also a bad thing?  The inspiration to readers to exercise.  The author takes it and twists it all around making it look as though people who read these blogs are immediately going out and running marathons without proper training, injuring themselves, and causing major damage.  I'm not saying this doesn't happen because maybe it does, but that's not the blogger's fault.  Just as posting pictures about food causing a trigger for some with eating disorders is also not the blogger's fault.  Most bloggers who post about running races also post their training plans.  Most will also make a point to tell you that they do not post pictures of every single thing they eat in a day.  So all these doctors weighing in on the articles saying they aren't getting enough calories and whatever, let's all use a little common sense.  There was most definitely some unpictured food consumed that day.

I feel as though this article was just a blatant attack.  Kath posted in this post about how she thought the article was going to go.  She, and the other 5 girls, all had interviews with this woman and yet none of their thoughts and quotes were shared.  This makes me very sad.  I honestly think this author should be fired.  It's worse than the Cosmo article.  What makes me even sadder though, is how bad America has gotten in terms of health.  Now it's a bad thing to run and train for marathons.  Now it's a bad thing to turn away the muffins and croissants in favor of fruit and yogurt.  Now it's a bad thing to try to be conscious of your health, and to weigh a healthy weight.  A healthy weight is now looked at as "too" skinny.  But on the flip side, everyone is complaining about the obesity epidemic and how lazy we all are. 

To say that I'm appalled by this would be the understatement of the year.  I think it goes without saying that I will be posting a comment to Marie Claire directly, and no longer purchasing their magazines.  This was so irresponsible and combative an article that I am no longer interested in anything else they have to say.  I'm sure I can find better advice in blogland.

It's Been A While

Hello everyone!  Remember me?  I've been gone for a while, for a few reasons.  My system at work is down at the moment and so I decided to take some time and try to explain myself.

The first, (and main,) reason for not posting is because J and I are having serious problems right now.  I don't want to get all into it, but we live together and that makes for a pretty uncomfortable household.  The good thing is that for 4 days out of the week, we don't tend to run into each other.  The weekends are a whole other story.  I've gotten to the point where I don't look forward to Fridays, I dread them.  I dread the weekends, and hate being home.  The tension is really stressful, and it's causing me to shut down a little and kind of turn inward, hence not blogging.  I mostly want to chill with Molly, go walking with her, watch TV, and sleep.  I've noticed that I will shut my phone off or simply not answer it because I don't feel like talking about it.  Technically, we are not together right now.  Financially, it's not as simple as it should be to move out so we are kind of stuck living together for now.  Thank God for two separate bedrooms and opposite work schedules, that's all I have to say.  We are cordial to each other, but it still is stressful. 

On top of relationship troubles, my family and I are not really getting along either.  This is more complicated, but at the same time it's more common and familiar.  There is always some kind of drama happening there, we can never get along for any real length of time especially when we are all together in person.  This last trip home wasn't as pleasant as I had hoped and there hasn't been any resolve since then.  Again, I don't want to really get all into it but it's adding to my stress.

I am trying to work through things as best as I can.  Molly and I walked 8 miles this weekend.  Each day we walked 4, and I mean really walked.  I was out of breath and sweating, and I'm pretty sore today from it.  I wasn't in the mood to run, but I almost think walking kicked my ass just as bad.  I have the mother of all headaches today, but if it goes away in time I am going to take her out again after work.  I'm thinking a shorter walk, finished up with some time on the stepper at the complex fitness center.  I will see how I feel, and how much I get into the groove of walking.  That was actually my plan for yesterday but once we started and I could see Molly was enjoying herself, I just kept on walking instead. 

I've been eating basically all the same things.  I don't have my camera with me so no pics today, but I have been making homemade nachos lately and they are so super good.  I take tortilla chips and cover them with pico de gallo and black olives, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and bake them at 350 for about 15 minutes.  I eat them with refried beans, sour cream and guac.  It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but it could be worse and they taste SOO good.  I've been experimenting with pizza, and mixing half vegan cheese with the regular mozzarella that I use.  It tasted just fine and cuts down on all that cheese. 

In a nutshell, that's been my life the past few weeks.  I don't know if I'm coping the best way, but even if I don't necessarily feel like chatting a whole lot, at least I'm channeling some of the stress into exercising and cooking.  I need to try to get back into blogging because I do really enjoy it, so we will see.  I hope everyone is doing well and I will be back soon :)

Labor Day!!

Oh yes.  It was definitely Labor Day.  My feet are throbbing, my back hurts, and my eyes feel like sandpaper.  What from you ask?  Carpet vacuuming, shampooing, furniture moving and also vacuuming, trash takeout, lugging the rug doctor up 3 flights of stairs... dust and cat/dog hair everywhere... I'm worn OUT.  Not to mention making a pizza for a friend at work, and cutting up some fruit for the week ahead.  But the good news is that I get to disguise my usual messy self from Danielle, and I will trick her into thinking I live in a super clean apartment all the time.  (Unless she looks in my closet.  Then, the cover will be blown.)

The morning started out with a waffle creation.  It began with these:

There is no real reason for gluten-free, it was the only blueberry I could find.  Couldn't even tell!

Added some honey:

Peanut butter and banana..

I smushed them together and ate it like a sandwich.  It was a great start to the day!  And it managed to sustain me through almost the entire day of manual labor cleaning.

After I moved the living room furniture, (including an elliptical machine,) wrangled a million pound carpet cleaner up three flights of stairs, shampooed the carpet, moved the furniture back, vacuumed the furniture, carried the carpet cleaner plus 4 bags of trash downstairs, did a load of dishes, a load of laundry, and scrubbed down the kitchen... yes, after all that I had to make the pizza for my friend.  Of course this meant I made one for myself for dinner as well.  It always cracks me up to watch the dough go from this:

To this:

And then to this :)

Yum!  And yes I know it's a hideous plate.  It came from J.

Like I said, I'm exhausted.  The final part of the Real Housewives NJ reunion is on tonight and I can't wait to see it.  It's actually on now but I'm waiting and recording it so I can fast forward commercials.  I hate commercials.  Anyway, back to work tomorrow but it's all good cause I'm excited to meet Danielle and hang out with her Wednesday.  For now, I have a date with New Jersey and some of this: