Sorry, I Just Woke Up

Today was kind of a waste of a night off. I have been so tired from the lack of sleep at the beginning of the week that I came home and passed right out for a couple of hours. I wanted to go running SO badly, but I hurt my knee and its finally starting to feel better, but its not 100%. After thinking about it, and reading about a similar injury on IITGI, I decided to not run till its completely better. Hopefully this will be Saturday. The good news it that this seems to be a common injury among new runners, so it doesn't mean I have bad knees! I do need to get new running shoes ASAP so let me know how you all want to donate to this... :)
I ate the last of my spinach this morning in my smoothie so tomorrow I will have to get creative with my meals... it means I will probably have to wake up earlier and make oatmeal or something with fruit, and Quiznos for lunch. I just tried Pacific Natural's Carrot/Ginger/Cashew soup, and eh.. it was good, but there was something about it I didn't love. I think I will stick with their tomato soup from now on lol. And I also had my last vegan cookie dough ball. Apparently I need to go grocery shopping sooner than I had expected!
This is all I really have for today. I've been in a sleep-deprived haze for the past few days and I don't have any super exciting news to share. I can tell you that my friend's wedding is next weekend, so hopefully I will have some pics to share from that. The weather is supposed to be nice this weekend and I plan to run and spend some time outside. I hope you all have a great weekend! I will try to get on and at least say something at some point... hopefully I will be cheering right after a good workout!

I Heart Sleep

Sorry I've been so bad about the posting. Lemme explain... extreme lack of sleep. I'm not talking the normal lack that I get from working so much, no. I'm talking about getting an hour and a half Sunday night, and about 2 hours Monday night. Bru-Tal. Sunday night I just couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned all night. Also, I have circulation issues in my legs, (have I mentioned this before? I think I may have..) and when my feet go either extreme hot or cold, they tend to stay that way for a while. And my feet were HOT. No matter what I did, they were so hot and it was so uncomfortable. So that was Sunday... Monday, J brought the kids over for the night before they went back to their mother's. When the kids come, poor Molly has to be shut in the second bedroom. She is big, and they are little, and she terrifies them. So needless to say, Molly hates this. Monday night, all I listened too was her whining, and scratching, and throwing herself at the door. At this point I was so unbelievably exhausted that I had a small meltdown. Yesterday at work I was a zombie and got nothing accomplished. I got a normal night's sleep last night, but I totally could have slept all day I think. I'm exhausted even now. I have tomorrow off from Target and I'm looking forward to a LONGG nap after work.

One of the worst things about lack of sleep is the effect on how I look. I'm serious, because right now my skin looks all matte and un-glowy, (its a word, a new one,) and dry and just not attractive. The circles under my eyes are pretty dark, and basically I look like a drug addict. Not a good look, especially at work. The other worst thing about no sleep is that... I didn't get to sleep. I LOVE sleeping. Its one of the reasons that I can get lazy quick and start not working out. My bed is so comfy, and I could sleep all day sometimes if people would let me. (Speaking of working out, I would like to throw in that I actually did go for my run with Molly on Monday, lack of sleep and sore knee and all. I'm badass.)

I'm going to stop talking about this now because I'm already tired, and its making it worse. I'm hoping that between tomorrow and the weekend, I can catch up on my sleep and be good as new on Monday. For now, the coffee machine and I have become dear friends.

Protein??

My internet is totally trippin today.. you all know that I, ahem, borrow my internet at the moment and I would like to know why it goes faster when it tells me my signal is low than when it says it's good? This is so backwards to me. Anyway, let's see if I can get through a whole post shall we?
First things first.. the car is back and running well. I would recommend to everyone that if you have a personal friend who is a mechanic to consult with them before letting anyone work on your car, no matter how much you trust your place. I trust my place, they have saved me a ton of money in the past, but still wanted to start with something so crazy expensive and my ex gave a better suggestion.. one that ended up being right. Good thing we are now on good terms because he saved my ass on that one.
Secondly, I am a little bummed out today. I went for a run yesterday before my 8 hour shift at Target, and while I'm happy I did that, my knees are killing me today. They weren't hurting until a few hours into my shift so I don't think the running really caused it, but my left one hurts enough today that I am icing it at the moment and wondering if I am going to be able to do anything today. It will suck if not, because I have the day off for a friend's bridal shower, and I really wanted to run afterward. I guess I will see how the day goes.
Speaking of working out, I have been thinking about my diet and worrying about something I have never stressed over before.... protein. Most people think we need wayy more protein than we actually need, and since there is protein in almost every single food, I have never stressed too hard over it before. However, after reading this post from Averie about how she is now eating more protein for her workouts, I started thinking about my intake. I am working out now and trying to build a little muscle, so naturally I will need more. As we "speak" I am eating oatmeal, which I haven't eaten in months. I made it with almond milk, a banana, some peanut butter, and a big spoonful of wheat germ. Its pretty good! I started finding and following some more food blogs over the weekend and a lot of them have some pretty intense oatmeal recipes, so I will be able to jazz this up a little...(canned pumpkin anyone??? YUM I bet pumpkin oatmeal rocks.) Yesterday I had some Greek yogurt and a Clif bar. So I am definitely getting in more protein than usual. I am trying to get it more from plant sources than animal sources, because even though I never officially gave up eggs or seafood, I haven't eaten them in a LONG time. So I'm not sure how my body will react. I have had dairy in the form a cheese and small amounts of skim milk, but I still worry that I would get sick. Its been a couple of months at least. Not to mention that I believe that plant based proteins are cleaner forms anyway, and better assimilated by the body. But I won't go into all that :)
ANYway, I hope everyone had a good weekend. I am going to spend some time reading blogs and icing my knee, then its off to the shower and Whole Foods after!

Trying To Be Glass-Half-Full... Or Whatever

Ok, so I am supposed to be able to get my car tomorrow. We will see if it's actually fixed, since the other day I left twice, came back both times, left for a third time and needed it towed back. Let's see if 4th time is a charm.
This little episode is setting me back a couple hundred dollars that I don't have. It caused me to stall on at very busy intersections no less than a million times. It caused me to call into Target 3 nights in a row, for a total of $112 that I could have made. (So actually, it cost me over $300. I'm going to choose not to think of it that way.)
It caused more than a couple hours worth of crying, a fight with J, and moment where I considered if stripping for money may just be the most sensible option. However, I already bitched enough in the last post. The only way I get through these extremely stressful times in my life is to see if there is possibly a positive side to the situation. This is what I came up with:

1. I got to work from home today. This means I slept until 6:55, rolled over and turned the laptop on, and did my work while watching TV and laying in bed. I think working from home should be allowed once a week. It was fabulous.
2. Even though I lost money because of calling into Target, this means that last night and tonight I got to run with Molly, and since I am calling into my full time job tomorrow, we will run in the morning, (As long as it's not raining.) This is a total of 3 workouts that I wouldn't have had.
3. My ex-boyfriend is a mechanic, so he was able to tell me what he thought it was. The people at the shop wanted to replace the catalytic converter. EXPENSIVE. The ex told me to start with the fuel filter. MUCH LESS EXPENSIVE. Turns out this has so far done the trick. (FYI, fuel filter? Didn't knew my car had one. Did not know it should have been changed at least twice by now. The car has 130k miles and is 9 years old, and the filter lasted this long, now THAT'S Ford tough.)

Ok, this is all I got. I'm still more than a little bitter, and I actually wrote a post where I let it all out, but I deleted it because I didn't think I should subject you all to it, and there was one person in particular who would have probably been hurt by it. Not that they read this blog, but when I become a famous blogger, I don't want that out there for the paparazzi to publish when they try to ruin me. But the act of writing it, editing it, and deleting it made me feel a ton better even though no one will ever read it. Thanks everyone for your support and nice comments while I deal with yet one more financial punch to the face, it makes everything a little easier to know that you are all crossing your fingers for me :)

A Very, Very Bad Day

Today was.. well, not good. I have been having some car issues lately and I have been praying that it holds on until I can scrape up the money for it. Well, the issues that the car was having are fine. But a whole new set came about today, and caused a hot mess on my way to Target.

Let me explain. This weekend I brought the car to the auto shop that sold me my battery, because the mechanic told me it was leaking. So I had him test it. It tested fine, and I went on my way. J had the car the next day, and it wouldn't start. Come to find out, the battery was not attached correctly. So on my way to work tonight, my plan was to stop at the auto shop and have them fix it. Until the car totally died, right in the middle of a busy intersection, 5 pm. Not. Ok. I burst out crying, and some guy came over and got it going and followed me the rest of the way. LONG story short, they thought they fixed it, I drove it home and stalled out twice, and had it towed back. They don't know what's wrong with it, but I have no money to fix anything really... and I was declined when I applied for the mechanic's credit card. I have no idea what to do. I need this car. I had to call in to Target for today and tomorrow, and that's loss of income that I really need right now. If I can't get to Target, neither can J. It means that I can get to my full time job, because I have a friend who will get me, but that's it. I'm so stressed. The only positive thing that happened tonight was the fact that I was smart enough to sign up for roadside assistance through Allstate... GO ALLSTATE. Much better than AAA.

At the end of the day, I need my car. And even after I fix this issue, there is still the other, very expensive issue that was found last week during the oil change. And the inspection is coming up. And.. I'm starting to feel like I'm drowning, so I'm going to stop now. I hate this feeling. I hate that I bust my ass for 70 hours a week, putting off having a normal life, just so that we can survive. And just when I think things are going to look up, something happens to throw me back to the ground. Sorry everyone. I'm really bitter right now, and I'm going to stop before I start crying for the millionth time tonight.

Randomness

First of all, I was so excited to get on blogger today and see that I have 3 new followers! Welcome to TLD, I hope you like it :) With that being said, I don't have a lot going on. I have a headache at the moment, probably due to a slightly stressful day and the literal clouds of pollen floating around outside. I had today off from work and planned to lay out, but my wish to NOT turn yellow trumped that plan. So I ran a couple of errands and now I'm home in bed, relaxing. I have a couple weekend highlights to share, so I will do that and hopefully have something more interesting tomorrow.

• Number one, I am brought to you today, via my comfy bed, by my wonderful neighbor with unsecured wireless. She is making my life a ton easier, and since I have no plans to get on child porn sites or anything like that, she is safe with me stealing her signal.
• Now I feel the need to clarify that I'm not a total scumbag. I actually do pay for my own internet, but at the moment its not wireless. And my regular computer is so full of viruses that as soon as its turned on, so many popups come up that its impossible to even see the desktop and the internet icon. So I need a wireless router. And until that day, (soon, I promise, ) lets all thank the neighbor. And if I knew specifically who it was, they would get all sorts of flowers from me and never know why.
• I have done lots of exercise this weekend. I told you on Thursday about the run with Molly and I am happy to say she has been subjected to it twice more since then... Saturday and Sunday. Friday I had to work all day and night, but when I got to Target, they were down one cart attendant. So I volunteered. And all night everyone was all, why are you doing that? Why are they making you push carts? And I was like, HELLO, I volunteered!! It was 80 out, sun was shining, and I needed exercise. So for 5 hours, I pushed carts with my cart attendant buddy. It was a fabulous time, and on Saturday I woke up so sore that I could barely move. But I still went for a run. And I endured the 7 hours of teasing later on at Target because I couldn't walk normally. I was that sore.
• Today, I am sad to say that I did not work out, even though I have the day off. I wanted to go tonight, and I have a major headache now so it isn't going to happen. Its one thing that will definitely make me cancel plans, a headache. Because mine are pretty major. So I am chillin, and I'm pretty sure Molly is relieved.
• I did go to Whole Foods today, and came across a fabulous find.... vegan cookie dough. They make vegan cookies, and so I thought I would ask if I could buy just raw dough. And yes, you can. Here is where it started.... I have a new obsession with cookie dough ice cream. But I don't like vanilla ice cream, or ice cream really at all for that matter. So I eat it for the cookie dough. This became a problem the other night when I bought Edy's and there was exactly 6 pieces of cookie dough in the entire thing. (And no, I did not eat the entire thing. But I did pick it totally apart to find the cookie dough, became pissed when I found 6 pieces, and now the rest is sitting in the freezer.) So I decided to just buy cookie dough.. might as well cut out the middle man and a bunch of calories from something I don't even like, right? Until my mother came down all upset because of the raw eggs. So voila.. vegan cookie dough it is. And its fabulous, and I highly recommend it.
• Now, I am making dinner. Tonight, its a boca burger with Amy's Organic Mac n Cheese. I don't even remember the last time I had a dinner like that, and its funny how something like this went from being a healthy option, to an every-day option, and now a rare treat-option. It makes me feel proud of how far I have come. And after it gets dark, if my headache has gone away, maybe Molly and I will take a relaxing walk around my complex. For now, its dinner and Mr and Mrs Smith. Angie is a bad ass, and my girl crush, and Brad.. well, we all know how hot he is. So have a fab night everyone, I will be enjoying my last few hours of freedom to the fullest!!

Poor Molly...

I took her out for a run last night. (Insert extreme excitement about getting some exercise HERE.) As I was writing my post for IITGI, I realized that even though I am busy, there are still times where I can work out but I don't. So after the usual night-off nap, I threw on running shoes, grabbed the leash and my ipod and trotted Molly out the door. At first she was super excited, pulling me along, and running with all the speed her little legs could handle. (Perhaps I should mention that this was not a straight out run, it was a walk/run.) She seemed a little mad at me when I slowed down to walk, and I had to be all, chill Molly. You know I'm out of shape. We will run again in a few minutes. And we did... and after about the third interval, she started not to pull me. And after about 15 minutes, she started making up excuses to take a break, like trying to show me she had to pee but nothing was coming out. But she would squat down, and try with all her might to make me just stop for a second. We ended up doing our run/walk for about a half hour, 45 minutes or so, and by the end she was walking behind me. After we got home, she drank an entire bowl of water and collapsed under the fan when I turned it on high. She pay there, panting, for an entire half hour. In her defense, it was about 80 degrees out, but since I wanted to do this when it was still light out, she didn't have a choice. And the vet said she needs to lose 5 pounds. So she is in this with me, whether she likes it or not. Tomorrow I will take pity on her and we will go earlier in the morning, before it gets too hot. And she will like it, I know she will :)

For me, this made me feel great. I am not a runner at all. In high school, I could run for an entire soccer game, but when the coach made us run a mile for practice, I was at the end of the pack dying for air. Its just not my thing. My little brother used to be a serious runner, running like a hundred miles in a week or something crazy like that. I was happy to read that interval training makes you drop weight faster than just running or walking alone, because this means I can disguise my lack of endurance with the excuse that its more effective. I hope it is. I am going to keep my gym membership for now because I want to use the stepper, elliptical, and I love yoga and spinning. (All things on the "when I can quit Target" list.) But its getting nice out, and I like being able to get Molly's energy out, and its not as much of an ordeal as going to the gym. My face last night was BRIGHT red, and I was worn out, and I am sore today, but its good. I really want this 15 pounds gone. I want my abs and my arms back. I want to look good when I go to Jay's friends wedding in June. My goal now is that on the weekends and my nights off from Target, I will get something in for exercise. For the immediate future, this means tomorrow, Sunday and Monday. Molly, get ready.