Hanging on by a thread

Today, my willpower is being tested. I am trying to avoid processed sugar for a while because of the seriously ridiculous binge I went on last week, and what happens today? Oh right... GIRL SCOUT COOKIE DAY. That's right. I ordered three boxes and they are here, today of all days. They have been shoved into my bag, out of sight but not out of mind. They are actually so on my mind that I'm debating giving them away, but then BF would be mad. Two of the boxes are for him. I don't usually stress about eating sugar, because I don't usually eat a whole lot of it, but I really don't know what happened last week. I couldn't get enough. Cookie dough... ice cream... chocolates... and I'm talking like 3 containers of ice cream. And I don't even usually like ice cream. I feel like an addict right now, jonesing for my sugar. Normally, the mango and two kiwi I had for breakfast would have been enough and the "sweet" craving would have been satisfied, so I guess that goes to show you how hard it is to recover from even just a few days of bad eating. But I will do it. Hormones and all from PMSing, I will do it. I'm not stupid.. I know that if I cut it cold turkey I will binge on it sooner or later. I am allowing myself a dark chocolate Jello Mousse cup after lunch. But the cookies are burning out of my bag and staring at me with their Thin-Mint eyes. They WILL wait.

Damn you Juliette Low. Damn you.

The V-Day Weekend

So its Tuesday, and I'm back at work after my long weekend. (Well, it was only one real day off from work, so my version of a long weekend= one day= pathetic.) But anyway.. Valentine's Day was surprisingly great :) Not the actual day, because I had to work and the boyfriend had a funeral, (I know, on Valentine's Day,) but Saturday was great. I woke up and went into the kitchen still half asleep, and found a card on the counter. He has NEVER bought me a card. Inside he said he loved me and to look on the couch for presents. He bought me 2 new feather pillows for the bed, because I ALWAYS complain about our pillows, a new laptop bag for work that is SO cute, 2 jar candles, and the new Wayne CD. He hates Valentine's Day, so I was surprised and a little emotional over all the new stuff. He made my weekend :) (And in case you are wondering, I bought him Dante's Inferno for the PS3. Pretty much, I am encouraging use of this stupid thing, so that's really the nicest gift of all.)
So Sunday night I got sick. Somehow, I developed a nasty head cold over the course of my shift that day, and by the time I got home I had a sore throat, a fever, and headache, and all kinds of body aches and pains. I took some nighttime Sudafed and went to sleep, woke up yesterday and stayed in bed all day. The main purpose of me telling you this is that despite feeling like someone hit me with a truck, I stuck to my decision to start eating more Raw. And so I had two mango's, a bowl of strawberries, 2 bananas with peanut butter, a salad, and my little naan creation. And I realize that even though its full of veggies, its not Raw, but I only cook it for about 15 minutes so I'm calling it half. And I also dragged myself away from my bed and my Grey's marathon to bundle up and take my dog for a little stroll around the complex. And surprise surprise... I feel better today. I don't feel great, and I still think I will be taking a nap when I get home, but I no longer have the fever, the sore throat, or the body aches. All I really feel is tired. Now maybe it was just a 24 hour thing, or maybe it was the good, healthy food and the walk, but either way it didn't hurt. So this morning I had a mango and two bananas, and I have naan for lunch, and we will see how it goes. I will keep you all updated.

And PS... no bloating. And this is the greatest thing of all.

It's the weekend :)

And yes, I am smiling. Its Friday, so I should be doing a "Letters of Intent" post today, but I think I'm going to skip it. I feel like I just did one, and even though I can be a master at complaining, I'll save all that bitching for next week. You're welcome :)





I do have a small problem.. since last night, I have been very. very bloated. Like feeling like something is about to rupture-bloated. I don't know why, but I feel like this a lot. So I have been thinking back to the detox, and how even though I could not keep it up because I was exhausted, the one good thing was that I was not bloated. For 4 whole days. In fact, I didn't have any digestive issues at all, and for someone who has had an ulcer, acid reflux, and a generally SUPER sensitive stomach, 4 days is huge. So after some thought, and a little doubling over in pain from the bloating, I have made a decision. I'm going to try again, but a little differently. I am going to try to eat MOSTLY raw foods for a while. I am going to go to Whole Foods this weekend and get some tasty organic fruits and veggies, and make them be the bulk of my diet for the weekend. I will see if this helps. I discovered Kristen yesterday, and she has a TON of advice and resources for eating Raw. I really want her "cook"book...hmmm... maybe with tax return money??? Anyway, sorry, off topic. She's great. Go check her out if you are at all interested in this. I think I am going to email her some questions. I will let you all know if anything comes out of my semi-Raw experience. And since I'm trying to get a little more fancy with the blog, perhaps I will try to post a picture of my shopping trip in my next post.



I have one small Letter of Intent. I know I said I wasn't going to post one, but I changed my mind. Its my blog, so its up to me.



Dear Target:



I know I was rough on you last week. This week, I want to thank you for cutting my hours. No, I'm serious. I know a lot of people are mad at you right now for cutting hours, but I truly appreciate it. I have loved going right home after the real job and STAYING home. Its been great. And I get to do it for 3 days next week. And 4 days the week after that. If you want to keep me at 20 hours instead of 30, this is fine with me. Because the difference between 20 hours and 30? is my sanity.



Sincerely, your happily underworked employee.





Have a fabulous weekend everyone!! I actually have Monday off from both jobs.. this rarely happens, so I am super excited, and may even GO TO THE GYM!!!

Money money money mon-ay... MON-AY!

Yep, I got my tax return today. And even though I'm not doing anything super fancy or exciting with it, I am super excited. It means I can catch up on some bills. NC had a period of about 2 weeks where the weather was really cold, and my southern apartment is just not equipped to handle such temperatures. It isn't well insulated, plus I live on the third floor because I refuse to have anyone above me. So the heat was just... floating away. That little cold snap cost me $400 in electricity. And no, that isn't a typo. So between that, and the fact that I've been strapped for cash for a MINUTE, (as the boyfriend would say,) means that I'm behind on almost all bills. And my little tax return is going to help a whole lot with this, and take a lot of stress off my shoulders. It also means I can go grocery shopping with a slightly less-tight budget. I like grocery shopping when I can buy what I want to buy and not worry so much about sales and coupons and all that craziness. You know by now that I really like food, so when there are no budgetary restrictions, its ALMOST as much fun as buying shoes.

Speaking of shoes, the boyfriend told me to buy something for myself with some of the money, and not to spend it all on bills. I plan to catch up and pay bills FIRST and see what I have left, and then perhaps I will buy one of two pairs of shoes that I've been eyeing for a bit. You see them... help me decide!

Kids These Days..

My grandmother sent me an article in the mail the other day that discussed how children's eating habits have changed over the past century. None of it was news to me, but it did bring up some feelings of anger that I have towards the way many children in the country eat today. Just the other day at work, a woman and her son came through my line and had a stack of lunchables. (By the way, I do not offer advice to people in my line about nutrition.. it would cross a line and I would be there all day with the crap I see..) Anyway, I grab the stack and the one on top is pepperoni pizza. The little boy pipes up and says, "That one is my favorite! Which one is YOUR favorite?" I honestly told him that I have never had a lunchable in my life but that I agree with him, this one looks like the best. (In my head I was screaming.) The mother turns to me and says, "Oh I know, aren't they disgusting? And they have like no nutrition in them whatsoever but he has to have them. Its like a status symbol at school I guess." I punched her in the face. Well, not really. But I wanted too. What kind of sense does it make to intentionally feed your child something that you admit you know has no nutrition in it, something you think is disgusting and BAD for you, but its ok because "he likes it"?? Its one thing if you honestly don't know better. But she clearly does.

There is a commercial that drives me crazy, I think its for Pedialyte or something, where the mother talks about how her daughter will not eat anything healthy. And the line says something like, "..and when her picky eating habits started affecting her health.." Excuse me? Am I the last person to be raised by a mother who made me eat my vegetables even if I didn't like them? Do mothers not do this anymore? And its not like I was an easy child who ate what I was told. I despised broccoli as a child. In fact, I still hate it. I have distinct memories of gagging over my plate, crying, telling her I hated her, etc. And she would sit there calmly and say, "You are not excused from the table until the broccoli is gone." Simple as that. I am suffering no lasting ill effects from this. Its not as if I am now scarred for life because my mother made me eat things that didn't taste good because they were good FOR me.

Anyway, it is a fact that childhood obesity is a quickly growing problem in this country. It breaks my heart to see kids who are completely inactive, who are not made to eat a balanced diet, and who will suffer severe consequences as a result. I see them every single day that I work. I see little, little kids running around the store with soda, literally throwing themselves around and being totally out of control because they are too young to handle all that caffeine. I see these things, and I'm sad. The only consolation that I have is that I know when I have kids, I will raise them the way my mother raised me. They will not be excused until they eat their vegetables. They will not even have the option for lunchables, or soda, or sugary cereals. I don't think my any means that I will be a perfect parent, but I will do my absolute best to make sure my kids eat well, every single day of their lives, in order to become healthy adults.

Letters Of Intent

This idea for Letters of Intent could not have come at a more perfect time. It came from Michelle over at Table For Nine, (a blogger that always makes me smile, so go check her out!!) and I decided it will be a fabulous way to vent some frustration I have this week. Here goes!!

Dear Target:
Please, just ONE TIME, pay attention to my availability and schedule me correctly. This includes the days I am available to work, (NOT Mondays,) the time on said days that I can come in, (after 4, hello, you are not my real job, you don't pay nearly well enough,) and the time I request off. (Do I need to remind you of the Christmas disaster?) Thanks, I appreciate your attention to this issue.

Dear Facebook:
Stop shutting down every time I click on something, and making me log back in. Its annoying, and even though I have come to like you much more than Myspace, I have to say Myspace gave me almost no trouble for 3 years. Don't MAKE me cancel my page and go back, because when you work correctly, you give me more joy than Myspace ever could.

Dear (Almost) All My Friends:

Stop having babies. Its making me want babies, and I'm not in the position to do so. With that being said, I cannot wait to come home and meet each and every one of the 6 new additions that have come since I was last home. Love all of you even if you give boyfriend a headache from hearing me beg for a child :)

Dear Boyfriend:

You have been fabulous the past few weeks. Don't stop. I don't know what happened but I'm loving you more and more lately, and I am so happy we are together. (Now that everyone threw up, I will move on... kisses :) )

Dear Old Men at Work:

Why do you think I would date you? I am 26 years old and you are all old enough to be my father. I don't find it flattering that you hit on me, I actually vomit a little every time we have interaction. And speaking of my father, his tone of voice when I told him of this latest incident leads me to believe that if he meets you, the delightful combo of NY and NJ will come out, and you will get a beat down where you don't remember your own name. This also goes for the boyfriend... he is also not impressed, he lives RIGHT HERE, and his bones don't break as easily. Do we have an understanding? Because next time I have to fend you off, you won't need to worry about them, because I am a NY girl born and raised and I will embarrass the shit out of you.

Ahh, thanks Michelle. I feel much better :)

A lil post

Just something small until I have more time...

First I want to announce that I successfully avoided the bagels yesterday. I was very proud of myself. Today I woke up too late and therefore didn't have breakfast or make lunch to bring to work. So "brunch" will be a Quiznos salad. I love Quiznos salads, and since I'm a vegetarian, mine is definitely a pain in the ass to make. So here is a shout-out to the Quiznos guy who happily makes it for me every couple of weeks, without complaint, and he now has it almost memorized. I heart you, Quiznos guy, because you could totally be a jerk about it but you aren't :)

If I have time later, I will post on what I really wanted to talk about today, which is what kids are eating nowadays and how it continues to amaze me, but I have a feeling that could be long. Because I have VERY specific opinions about it. So if there is no time today, I will post it in the next couple of days. I'm off to get my salad, yes, at 10 am, because I had no breakfast and I am starving.