The Lifestyle "Diet"

Triple Tangent Tuesday

2011-07-12T22:19:00.000-04:00

Happy Tuesday blends!! It's that time of the week where you get to learn 3 useless things about me and love every second of the experience ;)

1) My food cravings lately haven't gotten the memo that it's a jillion degrees outside because for some reason, I want Thanksgiving food. I caved over the weekend and had this plate no less than three times.

Mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, sauteed mushrooms

Don't worry, I sometimes don't even make sense to myself. I have no idea why I wanted such hot, heavy food in the heat of summer but I did and this hit. the. spot.

2) My little bro is currently on a trip around the country on a Greyhound bus. He was just in San Francisco camping with a friend, and is now on his way to East Jesus, Nowhere to be a park ranger or something for a couple of weeks. I'm super stressed out about this because as you know, we are very close. And he is going to be out of cell phone range for 3 whole weeks. He just texted to let me know he made his last transfer and is going to be making it where he is going by 1 am. I responded by asking if he will have access to a gun for the time that he is out of civilization and roaming around with wild animals. Apparently there is no gun, but there is bear mace. WTF is bear mace??? You are telling me he is going to fend off some crazy mad 25,000 lb mama bear with some pepper spray? I'm going to be a wreck for the next three weeks. The good news is that his next stop after the remote mountain adventure is CARY NC and he will be staying with me for a few days :) I can't wait!

3) This morning I went to my first bodypump class in 3 weeks. It was rough.. I could definitely use a leg massage right about now. When I sit or lay in a certain position for more than ~~5 seconds~~ a couple minutes, my legs are getting stuck in that position. Getting out of bed tomorrow morning should be interesting!

I'm off to bed now, the lil bro is calling me at 1am when he gets to where he needs to be so I can speak to him one more time before he loses cell phone service. He will need all my bear-escaping advice, plus I need to ask him to find a shower between there and here so that he doesn't stink up my new car when I pick him up :) Have a great night everyone!

Ahh, To Be In High School Again..

2011-07-07T20:02:00.000-04:00

Heyyyy bloggy friends! Sorry I've been gone so long, I've just been busy living life :) I hope everyone had a fabulous mini vacation over the weekend. I had to work Friday and Saturday nights, but I took Friday day off my full time job and spent it laying in the sun. Actually, I spent all of Friday-Tuesday laying in the sun and swimming in the pool, getting tan and lightening my hair the white trash way... with lemon juice. Don't judge.

My view for most of the LONG weekend

In other news, during my absence on the internet I made a big decision, followed by a big purchase. See, the thing is that I loved my Ford Explorer. I've had it since 2005 and it was my first "real" car. The Oldsmobile with no heat that I had for 2 Upstate NY winters and the cheap Subaru wagon that I hated from the minute I bought it don't count. The explorer was the first car I bought that cost more than $3k, the first car that had less than 80k miles on it, and the first car that I bought because I loved it. Sadly I can't find an exact picture of it right now, but here is the basic idea from google images:

That's actually exactly what it looked like.

Sadly, even though I loved this car and it was PAID OFF, it was developing some major problems so I had to trade it in :''( Goodbye lovely Ford SUV. Hello, lovely Nissan Altima.

Isn't she pretty?? I heart her.

I do miss my explorer. I prefer SUV's over cars any day but for now I will appreciate the working CD player, the Aux hookup, the working locks, the savings on gas, the lack of issues, and the fact that there are almost exactly 100k LESS miles on this car. Actually, 105k less.

So that's what I've been up too. Tooling around in my new ride with the windows down, blaring my music WAYY too loud while my lemon-lightened hair blows in the wind and people wonder if I'm Hispanic because of my lovely tan. If only I was still in high school and didn't have this little issue of a JOB getting in the way of all my fun :)

Three Things Thursday

2011-06-16T21:24:00.000-04:00

I'm back with a functional laptop, admin privileges and all!! Since I missed Triple Tangent Tuesday, I can just change that into Three Things Thursday, right? Right.

1) I am PMSing today and throughout the day my eats have gradually gotten worse and worse. Breakfast was my usual yogurt mess.. not bad. Lunch was a Jimmy Johns sub and chips.. not great, but still not too bad. Dinner on the other hand, well, it was what I wanted at least.

Chips and guac, and a medium DQ blizzard. I usually get a small when I get a blizzard but I thought I might save half for tomorrow. Fail. That would be an empty container. Oops. Oh, and there was also an unpictured plate of pasta consumed. The food baby is definitely going on right now!

2) I mentioned in my last post that I don't own a computer. Horrors, right? My job gives me a laptop, so I use that for blogging, YouTubing, and all the other important things that I do in my free time. But now that I will no longer be at this job in August I need to buy my own laptop. As much as I don't want to spend a ton of money, I'm leaning towards a Mac Book. It will last longer, and after that virus that I just dealt with on my work laptop, it sounds pretty nice to know that Mac's don't tend to get viruses. If anyone has an opinion about this, let me know! I'm still considering a PC.. basically, I have no idea what I want yet :)

3) I have really been getting into makeup over the past couple of years, and I just realized a few months ago that you can learn how to do makeup by watching YouTube videos. I know, I'm sure I'm the last to figure this one out but I've subscribed to a few channels and love getting new tips and tricks from them. This one is my favorite.. http://www.youtube.com/user/SWalkerMakeup. She is super talented and breaks things down into easy steps to accomplish a look. She wears a LOT more makeup than I do, but I think that's a good thing in case I ever get into foundations and stuff like that. If you want tips on products, makeup, haircare, etc.. I highly suggest checking her out. Plus she has this super cute English accent and you instantly want to be best friends :)

Well there you have it. 3 totally random things you probably wish you didn't know about me. Have a great night everyone, tomorrow is FRIDAY!!

Viruses

2011-06-15T20:58:00.000-04:00

Happy Wednesday everyone!! Last night I had planned to do a Triple Tangent Tuesday post, but before I did that I wanted to get my resume out into cyberspace. There I was, innocently creating a Monster profile when it happened: The blue screen of death. The blue error message that means your computer might be on the fritz. I shut it down, powered back up, and everything went black. I got a message telling me that hard drive clusters had been damaged. The whole time I'm thinking ohcrap thisismyworkcomputer. (Further proof that I need to just deal with it and buy my own.) When I brought it to tech support today, there was nothing they could do so now I have a new computer. There are some kinks that need working out and I can't post pictures, so sorry for the picture-less post! Hopefully things will be totally worked out tomorrow.

PS I had NO computer until about 1:00 today and it was torture not checking blogs. I think I may have an addiction.

A Good Monday?

2011-06-13T21:27:00.000-04:00

Heyyy everyone! It's been almost a week since I posted. I'm sorry, that was not intentional. I have had a headache every.single.day. since last Saturday, and I think it got bad in the middle of last week. I'm taking a more drastic step towards helping these headaches though.. I decided, after 11 years, to go off birth control. I feel like my body perhaps needs a break from the hormones, plus I know these migraines started when I began this particular form of birth control. Fingers crossed that it helps and doesn't end up throwing my whole system into a mess!

Anyway.. onward.. My day started of fabulous-ly. I have decided to switch up my spin workouts for HIIT workouts instead. After talking with people and searching the h*ll out of the internet, it seems that maybe these workouts could be the answer to my weight loss issues. Whereas spin class holds my heart rate consistently high and steady for an hour, the interval workouts will cause it to go more up and down, causing the breakdown of fat somehow. (I don't know what I'm talking about really, this is what I got out of my research and reading a ton of blogs that I know promote HIIT.) So after googling "HIIT workouts for beginners," this morning I trekked to the gym and stared at this.

I don't really run. Let's be honest. I tried it, it wasn't really for me. But while I know that HIIT workouts can be done with bikes, ellipticals, etc.. the other options seemed like cheating to me. I knew running would be challenging, so I went for it. 30 seconds fast running, 90 seconds walking, repeat till I hit 20 minutes. And you know what? It didn't suck. I was dripping sweat and was fighting to breathe so I think this will work for me 3 times a week. I finished up the workout with an easy 20 minutes on the elliptical and called it a day :)

Work work work, and I came home to a kitchen challenge. Lately I have been obsessed with portobella mushroom sandwiches. I even went to the same restaurant last week two days in a row just to get one. I wanted to try to recreate it at home and I knew I wanted mushroom, red pepper and cheese, so I googled around, (apparently what I do for everything,) and made dinner loosely based on this recipe.

This was even better than the restaurant version. I found some frozen Artisan rolls in the frozen bread section of the store, and the addition of jarred roasted peppers was a better idea than roasting it myself. So much flavor! I just eyeballed portions since I was only making one mushroom and mixed the oil, balsamic and seasoning together and rolled the mushroom around in it. You can't see it, but under the mushroom are a few strips of basil that I chopped and mixed with a tiny bit of olive oil. After roasting the mushroom for about 20 minutes, I topped it with the cheese and pepper and made my sandwich.

Added a handful of sweet potato fries and a small Greek salad and dinner was served. After I was done eating it, I was ready to eat it again. Everything was so, SO good. Don't be surprised if this is my new food obsession and you see it 84,000 more times on the blog.

I'm off to bed now to rest up for a 'pump class in the morning. Have a great night everyone :)

What workout are you currently loving?

Bodypump and now HIIT. I still love spin, but I will see how the interval training goes for now before I return to it.

Any food obsessions that you just have to eat a lot?Right now I have this mad obsession with the portobella sandwiches.. and let's be honest, you all know my love for my vanilla Chobani messes for breakfast. They NEVER get old!

Triple Tangent Tuesday

2011-06-07T22:10:00.000-04:00

I decided for this week to join the ranks of the beautiful Janae and the adorable Katelyn and do a triple tangent Tuesday. You all were just DYING for some random information about me, don't act like you weren't :)

1) I prefer to eat dinner while watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. They eat SO MUCH FOOD all the time that no matter what I'm eating, it's healthier than what they are eating and I feel good about myself. Another reason is because I really love the show and I'm so sad they took it off the air :(

2) I dislike root beer and vanilla ice cream. Someone please tell me why I am averaging 76,000 root beer floats per week if this is true. I can't stop. WHY ARE THEY SOO GOOD???

Yes, I have posted this picture 3 times now.

3) I have anxiety if I don't talk to my brother at least 4 times per week. I feel like I'm missing out on some sort of crucial information or home gossip or something. I took it personally when he deleted his facebook account and got rid of his cell phone. Secretly, I think he was sick of me bothering him and texting and calling and posting all the time.

I legit scared the crap out of him in that picture. That is not posed. He is really trying to run for his life because I snuck up behind him and yelled "SMILE!!!" And yes, that is slept-in makeup on my face. I am almost definitely hungover in that picture. You are welcome.

Anyone want to share a random fact?

Exhausted..

2011-06-06T21:52:00.000-04:00

It's a sleepy evening up in here tonight. Lexi is passed out on the dining room floor, Molly is passed out on the bedroom floor, and I'm hoping to be passed out in the next hour. Waitressing again is killin' me.. I forgot how draining it can be! I feel like all weekend if I wasn't working, I was sleeping. It's all good though because I am hoping to be able to save some money for August when I no longer have a full time job, and September when it's finally time to move out of this apartment I share with J. I do need to get used to the hours though, and all the walking around for hours at a time. Maybe I'm losing some weight? :)

Right now I'm waiting for some pasta and hardboiled eggs to cool so I can make tuna salad for the rest of the week's lunches and then I'm (hopefully) going to get a good night's sleep. Sorry for the lame post.. blogger won't let me upload pictures right now, and my brain won't let me think of of anything else to say. Have a good night and I hope for a better post tomorrow!

It Finally Happened..

2011-06-02T20:05:00.000-04:00

Hey y'all. I hope everyone is ready for the weekend, it's almost FRIDAY!! I know I am, even though I have to work at my new part time job. I got some difficult news at the full time job today. I was laid off. Not immediately, my last day will be August 5th, but it's official and I have a severance packet and everything. It wasn't just me, it was actually almost my entire department, another entire department, and other people here and there from other departments as well. I believe the number I heard was 40 people altogether. I guess outsourcing people's jobs is the new trend in this bad economy. I'm not super upset, we all knew this day was coming sooner or later. My company isn't doing well and to be honest, I don't see it surviving for many more years without some sort of miracle. I know I will be ok because I have this second job now that can become full time if/when I need it too, but I'm not going to lie.. I got a little teary this afternoon thinking about all the people I've become accustomed to seeing and working with every day, and knowing that in a couple short months I will no longer speak with them. I will miss my boss because if there is one thing I can say about my company, it's that I have been truly blessed with my managers while there. I worked for my first manager for a little over 2 years and I was devastated when that department was eliminated and he was no longer my boss. I was weary of working for someone new, but that manager, (my current one,) turned out to be just as great. I'm worried that I'm not going to hit the jackpot again in that area. I also have 2 close friends that I am used to eating lunch with every day, IM'ing and emailing all day long, etc, and I know that even if I score a great job in the future, I will miss working with them and seeing them every day. I hope that the friendships I have made there don't suffer.

After we got the news this morning, my boss told us we could take the rest of the day off to let the news sink in. I grabbed a Jinny John's sub, came home and took a nap.

I've had a headache all day but the nap helped a little. I did not have any energy for the gym this afternoon but that's ok since I went to bodypump this morning. I took Molly on a short walk, then went to Wendy's and grabbed a root beer float for dinner because it was HOT and I needed some comfort food.

That will only be my desk for 9 more weeks.. sad..

I am trying very hard to stay positive with all that is going on but honestly I'm a little overwhelmed. I have to update my resume, search for jobs, pray for interviews and if I don't get something before August 5th, then I will have to accept being a full time waitress again like I was in college. There is nothing wrong with that for sure, but I'm truly praying that it doesn't come to that. For now I think I am going to curl up in bed and watch some TV, and hope that tomorrow isn't too awful at work. Come on weekend!!!!

Ocean Love

2011-06-01T20:28:00.000-04:00

Hey peeps!! I didn't mean to be gone for so long but I've been busy busy. In my spare time, I've been sleeping :) First things first, the girls beach weekend was FABULOUS. It was the perfect relaxing weekend that I hoped it would be. There are a ton of pictures, so lets get right to them:

The view from the balcony

The owners left us wine!!

NY friends <3

Jenny!!

I went out one morning at 7am.. that chair was my happy place on the quiet beach for a couple of hours

Shells found on a beach walk

Check out that tan line :)

Honestly, if I could live anywhere on earth, it would be on the ocean. It's one of the only places where I ever feel truly relaxed. I can appreciate the beauty of mountains and deserts but I am definitely most at peace near the water. Someday..

My other major news is that I got a new job!! Not a new full time job, but a part time job to supplement the full time job. I am waitressing with one of my best friends at a sports bar in Raleigh. I spent last weekend training and this weekend will be my first on my own. I waitressed for 5 years in college so I know what I'm getting into, but I know it will be a transition. I'm not used to being on my feet for 5-7 hours at a time anymore. Not to mention that this place gets PACKED and I will have to get good, fast. I'm hoping the extra money will be worth the lack of weekends from now on.

It's been so hot here lately. I think that's the story of the whole country right now, but honestly I was not expecting 90-100 degree weather this early in the summer. It's taken away my appetite.. my eats lately have looked a lot like this for breakfast, lunch and dinner:

Fruit.. yogurt.. cereal.. toast. It was difficult to go shopping because I just had no idea what I even wanted to eat. I don't usually buy cereal because I rarely want it, but the past week it's been the perfect dinner. (That is Frosted Mini Wheats by the way.) I hate feeling heavy in the heat so I have to make sure I'm eating enough sometimes or else I will get a migraine. If I could, I think I could live on water and fruit alone in the summertime. Does anyone else lose their appetite in the heat?

That's all for now. I've gone about 10 minutes without water and I need to get up and get more. Have a good night everyone :)

Some Of My Favorite Things

2011-05-19T23:17:00.000-04:00

Ahhh, I love today. Today is my Friday because tomorrow I go to the BEACH for the weekend with some of my best friends and I'm so excited. 2 of those friends are flying down from NY as ~~we speak~~ I type. I actually just got a text from one of them telling me some drunk guy breached security and ran under the plane??? Not sure how that happened but they are a little delayed. No problem, I have nothing to do tomorrow except sleep and be ready to leave by 1:00, so they can come anytime!

When I was done with work today, I went shopping for some more summery, beach-appropriate clothing. I only really have jeans at the moment since I've gained weight and a lot of my clothes don't fit. Shopping brought about the ineviteable slight depression over not fitting into my regular size, but I've done some thinking and I'm moving on from that thought. I've had an idea for a post for a while now concentrating on the things that I actually LOVE about my body, and after Janae posted it yesterday, I decided now was a good time for me to do it as well. I think I spend a lot of time criticizing myself about the things I dislike about my body, and I don't think I'm alone in this. Women get judged very harshly as it is, and I want to take a minute and be positive about myself for once. So, here goes. This is my list of the things that I love about myself/my body.

First, even though it may seem cliched, I truly love my eyes. They are a pretty green color and have long black eyelashes around them. When I use makeup, I always play up my eyes. They are definitely my best feature.

My friend Lindsay and I.. she also has gorgeous eyes.

The two best pictures I could find where I didn't have red-eye and you can actually see them.

You will also notice my tan and my nose in the above pictures. These would be features 2 and 3 that I like about myself. I really only tend to burn on my face.. the rest of my skin gets a nice, dark tan and I love that about me. I like being tan, and I have a few very pale friends who can't ever tan. They have embraced it and look beautiful with their pale skin, but I don't like it on me. I'm really happy to not be super pale, and not be a person who burns.

My nose is something that I never thought about one way or the other till one day in high school. A friend of mine was complaining about her nose and was talking about saving up for a nose job. I told her I didn't think she needed one, and she looked at me and said, "That's easy for you to say, you have the perfect nose." I remember being like, I do? I went and checked it out, and she was right. My nose is pretty great, and another thing that I'm glad I don't have an issue with.

The last thing I'll talk about is my butt. Yes, I tried to take a picture of it but mostly all you can see is a bright light and my messy bathroom counter. It's there though, my butt. I really like it. I'm ok with needing to go up a size in pants as long as I don't lose it. It's a little on the big side, but it's perky and makes me feel feminine. (By the way, I don't exactly love my chest, but I am happy that it's perky like my butt, especially since I'm double-lettering in that department.) Boys don't seem to hate those assets of mine either.. ;)

So, there you have it. While I'm on the beach this weekend with my gorgeous skinny friends, I'm going to try not to be jealous of the fact that their bikini's look better than mine does, and I'm going to not stress that I can't and won't wear the skimpy clothes out to the bar like I used too. Instead, I'm going to try to focus on these things.. especially the tanning thing, since it just occured to me that I may be the only person on this trip who doesn't have super pale skin.

I'm not taking my laptop to the beach, so I hope you all have a great weekend and I'll be back on Monday! Leave me a comment and tell me what YOU like best about youself :)

I Promise I Know Something About Nutrition

2011-05-18T22:07:00.000-04:00

Hey peeps! I hope you all are having a good week. I didn't post last night because well, I wasn't in the mood. I didn't open my laptop or phone all night actually. I was going to go to the gym for a second workout of the day and decided about midway through the afternoon that all I really wanted was some unplugged relaxing time. So that's exactly what I did and it was fabulous. The reason for this laziness...

Carbs for lunch. So delicious, but so make me lazy for the rest of the day. Note to self: Save the pasta for dinner. Sleeping at the desk at work is not as acceptable as sleeping at home in bed. It was delicious though, and since I had been to the gym in the morning for bodypump, I wasn't too guilty about skipping the cardio session after work.

Random picture of Jenny at lunch. I'm sure she will appreciate this :) Go check out her barefoot running experience, this girl is a badass!

Dinner last night was simple.. reheated homemade pizza that I reheated for a little too long. It's ok though, I like burnt cheese :)

Like I said, last night was perfect. My mood was great and everything was going well.. till this morning. I got to work and pulled into a parking space and suddenly could not put my car in park. It would NOT go. I called my boss and asked him to have one of the managers come out and help. (He is a previous mechanic.) First thing he said.. "Rachel, you can put the e-brake on and get out of the car now.. you don't have to keep your foot on the brake." Oh yeah. Duh. He checked it out and didn't know what to think. I called the tow truck to come get it and nearly $300 later, the car will park again. LAME day. Although I was panicked all day long that it was going to cost like a grand and I would need a new transmission and all kinds of crazy things, so I am thankful that even though I didn't want to spend that on my car, at least I was able to pay it. I came home and drowned my sorrows in these:

Bang bang shrimp followed by sliced banana and strawberries covered in nutella and whipped cream. I promise, I will be back on the healthy eating wagon soon but I was not in a salad mood after the car nonsense. I'm currently in a nutella coma and feelin' fabulous.

After all these decadent eats, I definitely need to be hitting up the gym in the AM, so it's off to bed for me now. Gotta make that 6am 'pump class! Tomorrow is my Friday as I am headed to the beach for the weekend with some of my best girls.. can't wait!!

A Great Harvest Experience

2011-05-16T20:38:00.000-04:00

Hi! How was everyone's Monday? And WEEKEND? Both of mine were great. I was in a good mood all day today and even though work was kinda boring, I managed to keep my mood high. I just got back from a walk with Molly and she is worn out.

The weather here is so beautiful, it's about 73 degrees and breezy. A walk was perfect.

Guess where I went after work today??

Look familiar??

Kath has been talking about her experience opening her own Great Harvest with her husband and all the pictures of bread have made me really want to try it. I googled and found one in my area right down the street and decided to try it. The nicest girl helped me out and gave me about a million samples to help me decide what was right for me. I tried a cinnamon bread, a rosemary and garlic flavor, high protein, and a NC spelt. Although all of them were delicious, (I could have died over that cinnamon bread,) I went with the spelt since I felt it would go best as toast. I came home and made eggs and toast for dinner and it was soo good. I took a picture but for some reason didn't have my memory card in the camera, so it's gone :( I highly recommend looking to see if there is a GH in your area.. the bread is on the pricey side but it's delicious and the employees are really passionate about what they do and really want to help you find what you need.

I'm off to get things ready for tomorrow and watch the Real Housewives of NJ. They are my favorite and the premiere is an hour and a half!! See you all tomorrow!

Friday Favorites

2011-05-13T21:10:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday!!! This post would have been up sooner if Blogger hadn't been PMSing since last night. Seriously, I didn't realize how many times a day I checked it and read a blog post here and there till it was gone.. and I had to actually WORK all day long! (Kidding, I don't check it THAT much at work, but sometimes here and there I need a small break..) But last night and this morning I was definitely disappointed. Thank God it's back up for the weekend!

I've decided to join the Friday Favorites ritual because there are a ton of things I'm liking right now. The first is the best.. look what I found yesterday!!!!!

I'm not sure if my local grocery store is dealing in the black market yogurt trade because it's seriously nowhere else to be found and then suddenly it was there, on the shelf. I only left one. And I ate this for breakfast AND dinner. It makes the Greek yogurt I've been eating even more pathetic than I thought it was. Hopefully I can keep on getting it because it makes breakfast 100% better.

This was a mid afternoon snack one day this week. It was hot out and I was hungry/wanted something sweet, so a co-worker and I walked to Wendy's for a float for me, twisted frosty for him. I haven't had a float since high school. It's one of those weird things because I hate soda, and I'm not a fan of vanilla ice cream, but somehow they make magic together.

It's kind of pathetic how addicted I've gotten to this stuff in such a short amount of time. The small bottle on the right is clearly empty and I just bought it last weekend. Yesterday I decided to splurge and spend $7 on the left bottle. Let's hope it lasts longer than a week, but I'm not promising anything. It goes so much better on this dessert than melted chocolate chips. Speaking of which...

I've had the nutella-version of this for dinner every night this week. Send help.

Finally, I am loving Crest Whitestrips. I looked in the mirror a couple of weeks ago and realized that all the tea I drink has been making my teeth look, well, less than white. I used to use the original version of these in college all the time and they worked really well. They have changed though.. I remember the strips sliding around and coming off really easily after a half hour. These become practically cemented on. It's crazy. It takes a lot of effort to get them off but the good news is that I feel like my teeth are back to being nice and white. At least till I stain them again with my daily tea addiction.

There is lots more, but I gotta save something for next Friday. Right now I have to excuse myself and read the 110 blog posts that I've been unable to read all day, and try to forgive blogger and fight the urge to switch to wordpress. Have a great night everyone!

That's What She Said

2011-05-11T20:55:00.000-04:00

It's almost the WEEKEND!!! My friends and I were just talking at work today about how time seems to be zipping by lately. I feel like even if a day drags by, the week is gone in a flash. And the weekend is gone even faster. Not that I've been dragging at work lately.. I've been super busy. The past two days I've needed to stay about a half hour late each day, but that's ok. I really hate being slow and bored at work and that's how it's been the past couple of months. I'm liking being busy, it makes the time go by so much faster and I don't get bored and sleepy. Let's hope the workload keeps up!

I got to work early this morning due to waking up with a bad headache and missing my workout :( I decided to just go ahead and come in, that way I could leave early. (Silly me, since I ended up staying till my regular time.) Breakfast was my pseudo vanilla yogurt mess and some hot tea.

It was good, but not as good as Chobani. Have I mentioned that I MISS vanilla chobani?? And yes, that is tea and not coffee. All that I had was the ghetto office coffee which only tastes good with creamer. Note to self: replenish green tea stash asap.

Literally right after I was done eating, one of those "I love my job" moments happened. I work with some pretty hilarious people, mainly the 4 managers of my department. It's funny actually because I used to work for the "business" before I came to the IT side, and my impression of IT before the move was that it was stuffy, boring, and quiet. MAN was I wrong. The guys who run my department are some of the funniest people I've met. It doesn't matter that they are managers, no joke is off limits. I remember saying that a requirement document was the biggest I've ever seen, and my boss immediately replied with "That's what she said." Anyway, I was walking back from breakfast when I saw paperwork on my desk that I knew needed manager signature. I grabbed it and walked into the lab where 3 of the managers were standing around talking seriously and quietly. I didn't want to interrupt but I also knew the paperwork was time sensitive, so I kind of walked up slowly to wait for a break in the conversation to grab a signature. As I got closer, I heard this: "But why is it always a phone booth? He never changes anywhere else.." Yeah. They were talking about superman. Sorry to interrupt guys..

The morning flew by and it was time for lunch. It was not good.

Don't buy this. I only ate about half. It's the first TJ's find that's disappointed me but honestly I didn't have super high expectations of what was essentially a classy version of ramen. I supplemented with some snap peas and an apple and went back to work. Lame.

Now that the day is over, I'm trying to get rid of the headache that I've had on and off all week. It prevented me from going to the gym today and I'm not happy about that. I'm determined to get up tomorrow headache-free and go. It's bodypump tomorrow and I hate missing that class! Bedtime for this girl, nite peeps :)

Why It Seems Like I'm 97 Instead Of 27

2011-05-09T22:09:00.000-04:00

Hey peeps! I hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was pretty uneventful like usual, but that's how I like them lately. I don't usually like to go out and drink anymore since I have been getting regular migraines, and it's nice out so I like to get outside and lay in the sun and just relax. At night instead of drinking I will usually be watching a movie or reading blogs and going to bed early. I'm SUPER lame at this time in my life.. you know, right before my 90th birthday ;) After I get these migraines under control and move out of the apartment I ~~uncomfortably~~ share with my ex, I will try to have more of a life, I promise.

This lameness and grandma-like behavior means that one of the highlights to my weekend was grocery shopping at Trader Joe's. The store is 10 miles from where I live but I think I will now be going there all the time even though there are 2 other stores within 2 miles of my apartment. I walked up to the register at TJ's with an overloaded hand basket and three things juggled in my hand, and walked out of there only $50 lighter. Amazing, since I am used to dropping anywhere from $80-$100 on groceries every week for just ME. It's the overwhelming amount of produce.. I can't believe I essentially cut this in half and got so much stuff. I mean, I can't even fill my gas tank on $50 anymore.

One thing you know I got- TOFURKEY!! It made an appearance in my lunch today along with sugar snap peas and the cutest little mini peppers I've ever seen:

Aren't they SO cute? Bite sized peppers! Of course I dipped everything in this dip that I am currently loving:

If you still haven't gotten this, I'm not sure what you are waiting for. TJ's doesn't send out engraved invites last I checked. Just do it. You will thank me.

My workout this morning was spin class. You're welcome for the following sweaty pictures, just because I felt like sharing.

See the sweat stain? Yeahhh..

Don't worry, I showered and got ready for work.

Much better

Here is the thing about spin.. it gives me migraines. Here is the thing about weekends.. they give me migraines. I wish I was making this up, but it seems that when I get a migraine it starts Friday-Sunday. Never in the middle of the week. It's so bizarre and I have no explanation for this. I had one Saturday for no reason, and then I got one after lunch today. I felt it coming on since spin class though, but it just slammed into a migraine right after I ate, literally within about 5 minutes. It hasn't totally gone away so I'm about to take a pill and go to sleep. See everyone tomorrow!

Debbie Downer, But I Save It With Dessert

2011-05-04T21:36:00.000-04:00

Hey blog peeps, sorry for lack of post yesterday. To be honest, I was in a bad mood all day yesterday and didn't really break out of my pity party till this evening. I feel stressed about a bunch of stuff right now, not the least being that I have been working out like crazy and trying to eat as healthy as I can and my weight is not budging. No joke, I've worked out consistently for 2.5 months straight and when I weighed myself yesterday morning, I realized that I weigh exactly what I did when I started. I have not lost one single pound. I have been over and over in my head what the reason could possibly be for this.. am I eating too much or too little? Am I working out too much or too little? Do I have some sort of medical issue preventing me from losing weight? Why have I been busting my ass at 6 am at the gym for so long and I don't have ONE POUND to show for it? I have 40 to lose.. I can't continue like this. I don't understand why it can't be as simple as, "Eat well and work out." Trust me, it's not. And definitely not as simple as "calories in, calories out." If that were the case, I would be halfway to my goal by now. What is the problem??

But enough of that. That was yesterday. This is today, the third sleep-deprived day in a row, the day when I dragged myself to the gym yet again at 6 am and completed what was possibly the most pathetic elliptical workout ever. I know the elliptical gets a bad rap, but I always make sure to put in 110% on it, and according to the ~~super accurate~~ calorie counter, I burn almost 700 calories in an hour sometimes. (In addition to drenching a towel.) I was so tired this morning that I just didn't have the energy to push myself to the limit. At least I went, so I am happy with that.

After sleepwalking through my workout and showering, it was time to head to work. Want to talk about food? Because I do :) Breakfast was another Plain-Chobani-mixed-with-too-sweet-vanilla-trying-to-mimic-vanilla-Chobani, strawberries and granola.

Sorry, recycled pic. Replace berries with strawberries and this was breakfast.

Lunch was another great Trader Joe's find!!

This is a flatbread topped with mushrooms, truffles, and mozzarella. I took a picture of the baked version, but I don't know where it went :( Anyway, it was bigger than a dinner plate! A serving size is half the flatbread, so I ate half last night and washed it down with a green smoothie. I had the other half for lunch today with a side of red pepper slices and sugar snap peas dipped in TJ's cilantro and chive dip. Again.. buy this dip now. It's like crack, but not wack ;)

After work I was starving. I need to remember to buy snack type foods at the grocery store because sometimes I am totally fine after lunch, and other times I could devour the entire vending machine. Good thing I didn't have any change on me today or else I would have been in trouble. I came home and decided tonight was going to be a pasta night. I haven't had pasta in a couple of weeks and it sounded perfect. Enter Jenna's recipe for shrimp in a creamy tomato sauce. You have seen this on the blog before, but I don't think I have made it since I posted about it last in August.

Another recycled pic. Tonight's dinner was about half this portion.

I paired it with a piece of garlic bread and it was perfect. Unfortunately I only had enough shrimp for tonight, so no leftovers for lunch tomorrow :(

After eating all that garlic I was in the mood for something sweet. This is where the blog gets good, so I hope you are still reading. It all started when I was making the cream sauce and I was eyeing the heavy cream. I was thinking hmmm, homemade whipped cream sounds good, and I have strawberries. I mulled this over during dinner, during cleanup, during Bethenny Ever After and my walk with Molly. The idea eventually blossomed into something much better than whipped cream with strawberries.

Start with a frozen banana in the food processor. Pulse until you get frozen yogurt consistency. ( I know I didn't invent this idea, but I've seen it on so many blogs that I'm not sure who to credit with the original idea.)

Banana soft serve

Top with strawberry slices

Melt a few chocolate chips and drizzle over strawberries

Blend up a couple tablespoons heavy cream and pile on top

It was as delicious as it looks. I also was nearly guilt free eating it because it's mainly fruit. The cream is literally only a couple of tablespoons, I promise. It expands a TON while whipping it up.

Due to my lack of sleep the past few nights, I think I am going to turn it in early this evening. This girl looks like she is ready for bed too.. somehow she is sleeping while laying on the floor with her head up on the bed. She is too cute :)

Goodnight everyone!

A New Favorite

2011-05-02T21:04:00.000-04:00

To begin, I would like to say that I actually meant to post this yesterday, but the pictures I took were accidentally taken without the memory card being IN the camera. So I was forced to eat the same thing again today. The things I do for this blog..

Anyway, I hope everyone had a good weekend! Mine was great, I went to the gym and spent lots of quality time in the sun by the pool. It was really relaxing and low key, just like I like it. On Saturday, I ~~forced~~ asked a friend of mine to come with me to Trader Joe's because she always finds great stuff and I get overwhelmed by the small space and never really branch out and get different food. She introduced me to a new mac and cheese, a truffle-mushroom flatbread, tofurkey, (and she isn't even the vegetarian so I will let you decide how wrong and backwards that is,) and a few other things. In return, I introduced her to Sunflower Seed Butter and we went for fro-yo. I'm nothing if not fair ;) So far I haven't tried everything, but the one thing I did try was tofurkey. And ohmygod, how did I go for 2.5 vegetarian years and never have this??

Let's start with breakfast. She told me their English muffins were so much better than Thomas's, and she was correct.

There is an egg under that giant slice of cheese, I promise.

Egg and cheese on the best English muffin I've ever had in my life. Sliced strawberries on the side. What? You figured that out on your own? Oh ok.

Lunch was the masterpiece of the day.

Tofurkey!!!

This is a TJ's bagel with a melt of TJ's tofurkey, TJ's spinach, and TJ's muenster cheese. On the side was a TJ's yogurt dip with chive and cilantro, TJ's carrots and TJ's sugar snap peas. I'm not sure why I felt the need to specify that everything was from Trader Joe's, but now you know :) First let's talk about the tofurkey: J walked in while I was making this and asked what smelled good. Even though we are no longer dating, I'm nice to him every once in a while and let him have a piece of tofurkey. He said he would never have known. Coming from the most hardcore meat-eater I know, that's all I needed to know that this was legit stuff. Second, let's talk about the dip. I have never really been a veggies and dip person. Chips and dip perhaps, but unless it's blended in a smoothie or mixed in a salad I don't tend to eat a lot of raw veggies just as is. Until now. I want to DRINK this dip. I would probably eat any raw veggie thrown at me if I could only eat it with this dip. I also dipped the sandwich in it. The best news of all is that since it's a yogurt based dip, it's only 50 calories for 2 tablespoons! Guilt free dip? Pssh, DONE. (PS I bought the dip and tofurkey on Saturday. The tofurkey is already gone, and the dip isn't far behind. Obsessed much??) If you live near a Trader Joe's, go buy those two things immediately. I would never steer you wrong.

I'm off to decide whether to watch 90210 or Bethany Ever After. I have really hard decisions in life. Have a great night everyone :)

The Exercise Post!!

2011-04-29T10:24:00.000-04:00

I have alluded to my new exercise routine in the previous couple of posts, but never fully explained it. I think we last saw each other consistently in November, and a lot has changed since then. I have been trying to get into regular exercise since October. I didn't belong to the gym because I cancelled the membership after realizing I had been 3 times in 7 or 8 months. At $50 a month, that's a huge waste of money. I had gained 20 pounds (!!!!!) after the shooting at Target, and I desperately wanted, (want,) it gone. I decided I could work out at home with some DVDs and it would be the easiest thing ever. I went and bought 2 Jillian DVDs.. No More Trouble Zones and Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism.

I actually really enjoyed NMTZ. The moves were challenging and left me feeling sore, which meant it was doing something for me. However, this is mainly a weight lifting DVD. I wasn't really getting any cardio and we had a really cold winter for NC so I wasn't wanting to do much outside. I decided to buy BFBM. Let me just say, this DVD is not for me. I cried on two separate occasions because I never felt more out of shape in my entire life. I never made it through the entire DVD at one time. Because of the huge discouraging feeling I was getting from doing it, the workouts got less and less consistent and I eventually stopped. I was even bored with NMTZ because after a while, it gets to be like watching the same TV show over and over again. Some people can do really well with at-home workouts. I'm not one of them.

Christmas and New Years came and went with pictures that I would prefer to burn and never see again. There was not one single picture I saw of myself that I felt good about. Not to mention, my clothes no longer fit. I knew something needed to be done, and I wasn't motivating myself enough at home. After thinking and budgeting and thinking some more, I decided to re-join the gym and try to make the 6 am morning classes. Let me just say again.. I am NOT a morning person. I wasn't sure this would work at all, but I decided to give it a try and if it didn't work out, at least I hadn't signed a contract this time. My membership is now month to month. The location of my beloved gym had actually changed and it was now 1.6 miles from my apartment. This was important because since Jay and I still live together, and he still needs my car to get to his overnight shift at work, I don't have my car at 6am. This meant I would need to get up and walk. Insane right? But I was on a mission to do something about my weight, and I am never in the mood to work out after work, so I had to give mornings a try. I actually did it. I woke up at 5am every morning and bundled up in 17 layers because it was February, and walked to the gym 4 mornings a week. Jay would pick me up when I was done. I am thankful to say that now I have a ride to the gym in the mornings, and haven't walked in a few weeks. It's been great.

Anyway, here is a breakdown of my usual week:

Monday: Spin (45 minutes)

Tuesday: Bodypump (1 hour)

Wednesday: Either a rest day or 1 hour elliptical

Thursday: Bodypump (1 hour)

Friday: Spin (1 hour)

Saturday: Rest day or 1 hour elliptical

Sunday: Rest day or 1 hour elliptical

Let me clarify this: I have worked up to my goal of only taking 1 rest day per week. Depending on the week, that rest day will be either Wednesday, Saturday or Sunday. There are factors like Jay being home early on Wednesdays, migraines, being sore, etc that go into making this decision. And since I get exercise induced migraines, I usually actually make it about 5 days a week. That's fine with me though, I aim high and try to hit it or get as close as I can. I also walk Molly in the evenings, and a friend and I are going to start taking an ab sculpting class on Monday and Wednesday afternoons.

I have been doing this for a little over 2 months, and it's still a struggle almost every morning to get up so early and go. But thanks to Julie and a post she did a while back on exercise mantra's, I repeat my favorite's to myself each morning. "I will never regret a workout." "I am one workout away from being in a good mood." I also know that I will most likely be full of energy for the rest of the day, and the BEST PART is not thinking about my workout the rest of the day. The people that I work with are constantly all day being like, "I have to go to the gym later.... ugh... it's been such a long day, I just want to go home." And I get to just go home, because my workout is OVER. I love it. As hard as it is to get up, I am always so thankful when 4:30 comes around and I haven't been dreading the gym all day and I can just come home and chill with Molly.

Sorry this is so long, if you are still reading then you are awesome :) I just wanted to get it all out there so you can see what I'm doing and how far I've come with exercise. I'm not sure if I have actually lost weight yet as I haven't allowed myself to use the scale so far. But I will be weighing myself in May, and I will keep you updated with the results!

The Balancing Act

2011-04-28T20:49:00.000-04:00

Heyy blog friends! I'm glad people responded positively to my post on the takeout food I ate yesterday. This is supposed to be a healthy eating blog, but I just don't eat healthy all the time. I have cravings, and I indulge them sometimes. Thanks for sharing the love on that :)

Today was the complete opposite of yesterday, although I only have pics of dinner. (Lame blogger fail, I know.) Breakfast was a yogurt mess, and I know you have seen more than 10 1 picture of that on this blog anyway. I broke down and used plain Chobani yogurt mixed with some of the sickly sweet vanilla Greek yogurt that I bought of another brand. It was not the same, but I wasn't in the mood for a smoothie. I mixed it with strawberries and some organic granola, and it was a decent breakfast.

Lunch was a salad with spinach/arugula salad with chopped pear, roasted pecans, goat cheese, and balsamic vinegar. I wasn't sure if this was enough to hold me through the day, but it was. (Well that, and the fact that I polished off the last couple bites of Jenny's mac and cheese that she brought for lunch today.)

Dinner was up in the air for a little bit. I wasn't sure if I wanted to try to make Jessica's shrimp/pesto pasta, or a veggie burger and fries, or eggs.. but after a while I decided I wanted something quick. That eliminated the pasta. I didn't want to go to the store, and that eliminated the other options. I came home and looked at what I had, and decided on another salad. I chopped up the smallest sweet potato I've ever seen, and roasted it with some mushrooms. Alongside the veggies were a Morningstar Garden Veggie Patty and some fries. I made a mix of greens and topped it with everything, (except the fries,) and put some hummus on the side to mix in as needed.

FYI, this is a mixing bowl my friends. I wasn't messing around.

A couple of fries for a side

I followed up with a couple mini peanut butter cups from Trader Joes. If you haven't had these yet, do so ASAP. They will put Reese's out of business one day, they are THAT good.

And there you have it. Not a 100% healthy day since I had a few bites of mac and cheese and a small side of fries, but I don't think I want a life where those things are off limits. I also don't want a life where I can't have a Bojangles biscuit, a Jimmy John's sub, Bang Bang shrimp, or the nachos and DQ blizzard that I will have tomorrow because it's my Friday night staple. I eat my body weight in greens every week. It's only fair.

Food Cheating

2011-04-27T22:36:00.000-04:00

I have lots of days lately where I am NOT in the mood to cook or really be creative with food at all. This seems to happen mostly in the summer for some reason.. I think wintertime is a better time to be cozy in the house with a glass of wine, baking or cooking something incredible.

Yesterday was one of those days. I looked in my fridge, freezer and pantry and decided I had nothing that I would want for lunch today. This morning when I woke up and looked at my blender, I was not in a smoothie mood. What was I in the mood for? Grease. Butter. Salt. CHEESE. Enter one of the most unhealthy breakfast places known to man.. Bojangles.

Egg and cheese on a buttery, salty biscuit. Great, now I want another one..

I devoured this. It was so, so good. I was cheating on my smoothie and didn't even care. Although, I am cheating on vanilla Chobani with the smoothie, so I guess it's a vicious cycle. Not my fault, Chobani isn't making itself available to me right now. I need consistency in my life!

I worked through the morning and lunch came around. What was I in the mood for? Bread. Mayo. Chips. CHEESE!

Thanks #6 from Jimmy John's. And yes, it really was..

There was also talk that I ate a pop tart this afternoon. I'm neither confirming or denying.

I worked through the afternoon and dragged myself to the gym. I mentioned in a previous post that I started working out again in the mornings. I wasn't able to make it this morning, so I had to force myself to go this afternoon. I will do a post on my new workout routine, but I have to say this: Even though I am absolutely NOT a morning person, the morning workout is best for me. I have exactly 45 minutes from the time my alarm goes off to talk myself out of it. (Yes 45 minutes. Not a morning person. Require lots of snoozing on the alarm.) If I wait till the afternoon, I have 9 hours to talk myself out of it. This means that 9 times out of 10, I'm going in the morning. 9 times out of 10, I am NOT going in the afternoon. I would like to add that I was ready to go this morning, but had a lack of transportation to get there.

After the gym, I had lost my craving for yet another takeout meal consisting of spicy mayo, shrimp, and more bread in the form of Bang Bang shrimp from Bonefish Grill. After sweating for an hour and walking outside into the hot, humid NC air, I finally wanted something healthy and cold. After apologizing to my spinach for blowing it off this morning, I made myself a dinner smoothie with an open sun butter and jelly sandwich on TJ's sprouted grain bread.

Frozen banana, kale, spinach, almond milk, plain Chobani, pinch xanthum, strawberries

This really hit the spot tonight. All my meals were perfect today for what I wanted. I really do try most of the time to eat well, both for health and because I am trying to lose weight. And honestly, most of the time those foods taste good to me. But sometimes, like today, all I want is junk. That's ok with me :)

I am falling asleep writing this so I'm going to wrap it up now and say goodnight, and see you all tomorrow!

My Poor Bathtub

2011-04-25T21:37:00.000-04:00

I can't talk about food in this post. Today was a massive fail on that front. I'm talking half a smoothie for breakfast, an apple with cheese for lunch, and a small bowl of mac and cheese for dinner. I'm not sure what the deal was with today but I wasn't hungry at ALL. Not only not hungry, but I woke up feeling full for some reason and had that full feeling all day. I guess I was due for it, since I eat about 5000 calories on some other days of the week. Like Fridays, when I have nachos and a DQ blizzard. I'll take the not hungry day.

Since I wasn't hungry for dinner and the calendar on my phone said it was time for Molly's frontline, it was bathtime for my ~~little~~ dog. She gets a bath once a month, right before she gets frontline'd. The vet told me it was waterproof, but when I told her I use people shampoo, she said that would wash it off. Sorry, I like my dog to smell pretty, NOT like gross dog shampoo. Into the tub she went.

Not sure about this..

OMG MOM!! IhatethisletmeoutpleasemomIhatethis.

All clean!

No worries, she was rewarded with a walk in the warm air to dry off and she was prancing her newly clean, frontline'd self like she was the hottest thing around. She even saw a small dog and didn't try to kill it. Progress.

The tub on the other hand, is a different story..

Sigh.

Who Needs Vanilla Chobani?

2011-04-25T12:31:00.000-04:00

Ever since Chobani decided to temporarily discontinue some of their yogurt flavors, I have been at a loss for breakfast ideas. For over a year now, my breakfast every single day has been a vanilla Chobani, granola, and a fruit of some sort chopped up and all mixed together. And yep, you got it, they discontinued vanilla. Vanilla??? Isn't that a staple flavor? I was so mad. According to my grocery store, it's not coming back till at least July. Super lame move Chobani, just sayin'.. I tried other vanilla Greek yogurts, and they were too sickeningly sweet for me. I was at a total loss until I was reading Kath's blog one day and discovered this amazing thing.. a doughboy smoothie. I made it my own, using almond milk and adding plain Chobani, (what, you guys didn't want to let that one go??) a frozen banana, and making it green. Last night in the blender, I combined one cup of almond milk with one cup of oats and let it sit overnight. This morning, I added the frozen banana, yogurt, and one handful each spinach and kale.

I promise that's one handful each green.. I had to shove it down to make it fit. (TWSS?)

All blended up

Added a few sliced strawberries

Topped with granola

This smoothie clearly needs to be eaten with a spoon. It makes SO MUCH smoothie, do you see how it fills the entire container? I have had this for both breakfast and dinner and it fills me up. It also contains a little of everything, carbs, fat, protein, fruits and veggies. I actually couldn't finish it this morning, but I am oddly not very hungry today. Maybe because I didn't work out this morning? Oh yeah, I started working out in the mornings :) But more on that in a later post.

Anyway, back to work for me now. I hope everyone is having a good Monday!

It's Been 5 Months. Because I suck at life. I'm sorry.

2011-04-22T21:39:00.000-04:00

In the past week, my blog has gotten 3 new comments, (real ones, not the spam that comes daily,) and I've even gained a follower. (Hi Vanessa!) How does this happen when I have been SUCH a bad blogger that I haven't even posted in 5 months? Actually it's been 6, 5 is a total lie. I'm not sure why this happened, I mean I still read blogs religiously every single day so it's not like I'm not on here. I guess I felt like I didn't know what to say anymore. I'm sure everyone wonders at some point if their blog is interesting and I was feeling like mine wasn't. I lead a boring life so how can reading about it be interesting? I didn't know how to write something without boring myself, so I was sure I was boring everyone else.. but I did love it, and I really miss being a part of this community of fabulous people. So I'm coming back to tell you all about the gym and the food I eat and Molly's crazy antics. Prepare yourself.. I missed you guys!! :)

Throw Dirt On Me... And Grow A Wild Flower

2010-11-04T19:29:00.000-04:00

Happy Thursday everyone! I hope y'all are having a great day. I know I am... for one reason... it's FREE WEEZY DAY!!! I don't know if I've ever touched on my musical preference on the blog before. Or maybe I have, I'm not really sure. But the people who really know me, know that I love rap/hip hop. I've loved it since a friend's brother gave me a ride and he was blaring DMX the whole way. I was hooked from then on out, and that had to be 1998 or so. While the rest of my friends were discovering Indie bands and Lilith Fair, I was discovering Diddy, (back when he was Puffy,) Bone Thugs, Jay Z and so on. When my college revamped its gym to having personal TVs, I would be rocking out on the treadmill to the BET countdown and getting really weird looks from the girl next to me. I still to this day don't quite know another girl who has the same taste as I do in music. (Except Kailey, who had the same idea as I did today!) I usually bond more with guys over this. Anyway, why am I telling you this? Because ever since I saw him in the Destiny's Child "Soldier" video, Lil Wayne has been my all time favorite rapper. He was arrested last year on a ~~craptastic~~ weapons charge and was finally released today!!

source

That's my man right there. The one who pushes me through my workouts, wakes me up when I'm falling asleep at my desk, the one who produces lines that have become this blog post's title and previous facebook status':

"I don't think you're beautiful, I think you're beyond it."

"Confidence is a stain they can't wipe off."

"Just breathe baby, God's got a blessing to spare."

That last one I am seriously considering tattooing on my wrist.

In other news, I am proud to say that I have successfully completed Jillian DVD's every day so far this week. My goal was to do them every day but my legs are crying for a break today. No biggie, I'll just work out Saturday when I was planning to break instead. Monday and Tuesday were No More Trouble Zones, which I'm slowly getting better at. I still can't do the whole thing straight through but I'm getting there. Yesterday I tried the Shred that I borrowed from a friend. I'm glad I borrowed it, because I didn't love it. I was unable to make it through without taking a break so there is no doubt that it's a good workout, but it wasn't long enough for me. I wasn't sweating like crazy or red in the face or feeling awesome afterwards. I think it's a great choice for some people, but not for me. I think I'm going to go with Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. I've heard that alternating that with NMTZ makes for excellent results. We will see! For tonight though, I will be chilling with her

And her

And eating some of this

And think about what he will release next :)

I'm Pretty Lame..

2010-11-01T22:17:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone!! Did you all have a good holiday weekend? Halloween seems to have come and gone without a trace here. I went outside at like 6 on Sunday night and did not see a single trick or treater. It made me feel a little better about not accepting them at my apartment. Molly would probably have a stroke with all that knocking so I avoid it :( I did get a little share of the fun last weekend at a friend's pumpkin carving party. (I did not carve. I drank sangria and made fun of everyone else. Someone had to do it.)

I also rocked these awesome tights

And these awesome eyelashes, which were hot pink BTW

It was a fun time :) As for the actual Halloween weekend however, I was not in any sort of mood to do anything. For starters, I gave blood on Friday. This always makes me feel like crap for about 24 hours, just all kinds of headache-y and tired. On top of that, Friday started the dreaded Time Of The Month. Which for me is about as fun as it gets so I was enjoying cramps and headaches from that all weekend as well. Friday night I knew I was doomed so my evening consisted of my bed and some of this..

It was pretty fabulous, minus the headache, cramps and foul mood. Saturday night was basically the same, except swap in some unphoto'd pad Thai. I did have a little fun on Saturday night though. It started out innocently enough... see, I'm being really stubborn about not turning the heat on yet. It's getting to be pretty cold at night so I bundle up and cover up and that's enough for me. But then I started worrying a little about Molly... she sleeps on the floor, and I'm mean so she doesn't have a bed. She was wrapped up in the tightest little ball and I was worried she might be cold. I decided to put her in one of my old shirts to keep her comfy, so I went and put this red one on her.

I had no clue how hilarious this would be. This face just screams, "You're insane. Take this off me NOW." Oh my God, I was laughing so hard I was crying. She wouldn't let me roll the sleeves up so she was kind of walking around all stiff legged and confused. Eventually she lay down and went to sleep. We took it off in the morning. Oh, the fun I have torturing my little dog sometimes!

Well, I'm going to relax now and watch tonight's 90210. I did the Jillian workout and I think it's time to sink into bed. Have a great night :)

Oops... Did I Just Eat Bacon?

2010-10-23T22:03:00.000-04:00

I totally did. By "accident." But it's all good :) Remember my potluck at my office? The one where I made banana pudding?

Well, that's where it happened. Most of the food at the potluck was meat-based so I had very little options. The options I had, I did not request the full story. I was in full on "don't ask, don't tell" mode. One of these options was clam chowder, and I LOVE clam chowder. You all know I eat seafood so when I saw it on the table I was pretty excited. The woman who made it started to tell me about it, because she knows I don't eat meat, and I stopped her midsentence and said, "If there is bacon in it, I don't want to know. I will either discover it and pick it out, or else I won't find anything." She looked at me like I was slightly insane and just nodded her head. I got a bowl. I started eating. I definitely ate a chunk of bacon. I spent the next minute or so picking the rest out, and happily finished it. She told me later there was also chicken stock in it, so I guess it was a vegetarian fail all the way around.

A year ago, (hell, a few months ago,) this would have prevented me from even eating it. I was pretty strict about the meat intake. I still don't eat meat on purpose or anything like that, but I have created a new ruel for myself. When it comes to potlucks, holidays, dinners at a friend's or out somewhere, I'm not going to stress over a little chicken stock or possible meat in certain dishes. Life is too short to worry about whether I'm being strict enough with my eating choices to the point of not enjoying a social gathering. It's sort of the same epipheny I had when I stopped my vegan eating... I truly love cheese and greek yogurt. I could give them up, but I don't want too. The thought of never having parmesan cheese or cream cheese ever again is a little more than I can bear. (This is also why I still eat seafood.) I miss steak, but I don't need it so badly that I will break down and have one. But clam chowder at a potluck? Am I really going to let a little "don't ask don't tell" bacon deter me from eating something that I don't regularly eat, something that I enjoy? No. I'm just not going to do that. Life is too short not to have a little clam chowder here and there. With that being said, here is a shoutout to my co-worker for making Mexican layered dip with beans instead of beef because she was thinking of me :) While that was very nice of her, I don't ever expect people to do that whenever I come over to eat, or when there is a function at work.

I also will not listen to my boss when he points to the shredded pork or the sausage balls or the crockpot full of meatballs, and tells me they are vegetarian.

Part of My Catch-Up

2010-10-05T20:21:00.000-04:00

Good evening bloggy friends :) Anyone else attempting Jenna's Old Fashioned Banana Pudding and rocking out to BET in the background? No? Just me? Ok then. Remember yesterday when I said I had a whole other post planned out? I decided now is time for that post :)

First things first. I had a great weekend! I did a lot of walking/running with this girl.

I went to a park in town with my good friend Jenny and walked her two dogs. It was beautiful, we walked a trail through the woods around a lake. I never even knew the park was there, and it's literally maybe 3 miles from my apartment. The weather has been so nice lately, 60's and 70's so there was no crazy sweating. It was just a gorgeous day.

Jenny and Boyd

I completed the weekend making a homemade pizza, vegetarian chili, and cornbread. The weather has make me want chili and now I have enough to last all week! No pics this time around, but I will post the recipe next time I make it.

Jay and I are still broken up, and still living together. It's getting less awful as we seem to have an unspoken pact to try to get along. He still pisses me off, but until we can find other living arrangements I guess this is how it has to be. I have the most amazing friends to help me through all this crap though. I got this adorable care package in the mail from my high school friend Juliana.

Isn't she adorable? I'm not gonna lie, I shed a little tear when I opened it. It was super thoughtful and made my day. (There was also a pack of M&M's in there. I don't, um, know where those got to..) I have to say that I have the best group of girlfriends that get me through anything and everything.

There may be a little more to say since I've been gone for so long... I've eaten lots of good stuff, had a blogger come visit, and just gone through everyday life. But I've been up and at 'em since 7 this morning so I think I'm going to go snuggle in my bed and watch TV. I haven't stopped ALL DAY. I will see you all tomorrow with my banana pudding review from coworkers :)

One more thing: Those two beautiful ladies I spoke about in this post have each started a blog. Jenny's is about life with her 24-going-on-7 year old husband and is hilarious. Juliana's is about a little of this and a little of that, living in NYC and being fabulous :) AND, my lil bro started one as well about politics. He can be serious, but I see it taking some humorous turns. Looks like I've been inspirational. I'll go ahead and brush my shoulder off.. go check them out and give some love as they are all new to this blogging thing and deserve attention! Have a great night peeps :)

Well, I've Bashed Cosmo... Now It's Marie Claire's Turn

2010-10-04T21:13:00.000-04:00

I want you to know that I had a whole 'nother topic planned for today. (I'm so, so sorry I've been so absent. I'm working on it.) I planned to tell you about my weekend, the first in a while that's been honestly relaxing and refreshing. The one where I hung out with a good friend, walked 3 dogs, took a couple really good naps and ate some really good food. Yep, that's what I was going to talk about... till this hot mess took over the blogging community today. Take a minute... read it... I'll wait..

I want to say that out of the "Big 6," I only follow two, Kath and Jenna. You know Jenna, she has been the inspiration for a few of my recipes on the blog. However, I do follow a whole lot of other healthy living blogs and never have I ever seen anything to warrant this kind of article. To say that people who are truly living a healthy lifestyle may either have disorders or influence others to have disorders is ridiculous. I'm confused as to when a healthy, strong body became synonymous with unhealthy. Is this because obesity is SO RAMPANT in America now that when we see someone at a healthy weight we automatically assume they are underweight and unhealthy? Since when did it become unacceptable to be upset when an injury prevents us from working out? This claim was made towards Jenna, who cried one day because her feet were too blistered to run. Um... so? Aren't injuries frustrating? Isn't it possible that she might love running and be upset when she is physically unable? I mean damn, I played an entire season of soccer in high school with a stress fracture, taping my foot before each and every game and practice. Was I suffering from exercise bulimia, or simply just maybe could I not even entertain the thought of taking the season off? I loved soccer, and playing through a minor injury was not even a question.

Among other ridiculous mentions in the article... I love the part where she mentions that at the Healthy Living Summit, bloggers chose yogurt and fruit over the croissants and muffins, and one of the 6 made a comment that those kinds of foods were not asked for. Wow, the audacity to actually eat fruit for breakfast instead of a pastry? At a Healthy Living conference?? Oh, the insanity. And yet, somehow this is looked at as a bad thing. Also a bad thing? The inspiration to readers to exercise. The author takes it and twists it all around making it look as though people who read these blogs are immediately going out and running marathons without proper training, injuring themselves, and causing major damage. I'm not saying this doesn't happen because maybe it does, but that's not the blogger's fault. Just as posting pictures about food causing a trigger for some with eating disorders is also not the blogger's fault. Most bloggers who post about running races also post their training plans. Most will also make a point to tell you that they do not post pictures of every single thing they eat in a day. So all these doctors weighing in on the articles saying they aren't getting enough calories and whatever, let's all use a little common sense. There was most definitely some unpictured food consumed that day.

I feel as though this article was just a blatant attack. Kath posted in this post about how she thought the article was going to go. She, and the other 5 girls, all had interviews with this woman and yet none of their thoughts and quotes were shared. This makes me very sad. I honestly think this author should be fired. It's worse than the Cosmo article. What makes me even sadder though, is how bad America has gotten in terms of health. Now it's a bad thing to run and train for marathons. Now it's a bad thing to turn away the muffins and croissants in favor of fruit and yogurt. Now it's a bad thing to try to be conscious of your health, and to weigh a healthy weight. A healthy weight is now looked at as "too" skinny. But on the flip side, everyone is complaining about the obesity epidemic and how lazy we all are.

To say that I'm appalled by this would be the understatement of the year. I think it goes without saying that I will be posting a comment to Marie Claire directly, and no longer purchasing their magazines. This was so irresponsible and combative an article that I am no longer interested in anything else they have to say. I'm sure I can find better advice in blogland.

It's Been A While

2010-09-20T11:48:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! Remember me? I've been gone for a while, for a few reasons. My system at work is down at the moment and so I decided to take some time and try to explain myself.

The first, (and main,) reason for not posting is because J and I are having serious problems right now. I don't want to get all into it, but we live together and that makes for a pretty uncomfortable household. The good thing is that for 4 days out of the week, we don't tend to run into each other. The weekends are a whole other story. I've gotten to the point where I don't look forward to Fridays, I dread them. I dread the weekends, and hate being home. The tension is really stressful, and it's causing me to shut down a little and kind of turn inward, hence not blogging. I mostly want to chill with Molly, go walking with her, watch TV, and sleep. I've noticed that I will shut my phone off or simply not answer it because I don't feel like talking about it. Technically, we are not together right now. Financially, it's not as simple as it should be to move out so we are kind of stuck living together for now. Thank God for two separate bedrooms and opposite work schedules, that's all I have to say. We are cordial to each other, but it still is stressful.

On top of relationship troubles, my family and I are not really getting along either. This is more complicated, but at the same time it's more common and familiar. There is always some kind of drama happening there, we can never get along for any real length of time especially when we are all together in person. This last trip home wasn't as pleasant as I had hoped and there hasn't been any resolve since then. Again, I don't want to really get all into it but it's adding to my stress.

I am trying to work through things as best as I can. Molly and I walked 8 miles this weekend. Each day we walked 4, and I mean really walked. I was out of breath and sweating, and I'm pretty sore today from it. I wasn't in the mood to run, but I almost think walking kicked my ass just as bad. I have the mother of all headaches today, but if it goes away in time I am going to take her out again after work. I'm thinking a shorter walk, finished up with some time on the stepper at the complex fitness center. I will see how I feel, and how much I get into the groove of walking. That was actually my plan for yesterday but once we started and I could see Molly was enjoying herself, I just kept on walking instead.

I've been eating basically all the same things. I don't have my camera with me so no pics today, but I have been making homemade nachos lately and they are so super good. I take tortilla chips and cover them with pico de gallo and black olives, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and bake them at 350 for about 15 minutes. I eat them with refried beans, sour cream and guac. It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but it could be worse and they taste SOO good. I've been experimenting with pizza, and mixing half vegan cheese with the regular mozzarella that I use. It tasted just fine and cuts down on all that cheese.

In a nutshell, that's been my life the past few weeks. I don't know if I'm coping the best way, but even if I don't necessarily feel like chatting a whole lot, at least I'm channeling some of the stress into exercising and cooking. I need to try to get back into blogging because I do really enjoy it, so we will see. I hope everyone is doing well and I will be back soon :)

Labor Day!!

2010-09-06T21:17:00.000-04:00

Oh yes. It was definitely Labor Day. My feet are throbbing, my back hurts, and my eyes feel like sandpaper. What from you ask? Carpet vacuuming, shampooing, furniture moving and also vacuuming, trash takeout, lugging the rug doctor up 3 flights of stairs... dust and cat/dog hair everywhere... I'm worn OUT. Not to mention making a pizza for a friend at work, and cutting up some fruit for the week ahead. But the good news is that I get to disguise my usual messy self from Danielle, and I will trick her into thinking I live in a super clean apartment all the time. (Unless she looks in my closet. Then, the cover will be blown.)

The morning started out with a waffle creation. It began with these:

There is no real reason for gluten-free, it was the only blueberry I could find. Couldn't even tell!

Added some honey:

Peanut butter and banana..

I smushed them together and ate it like a sandwich. It was a great start to the day! And it managed to sustain me through almost the entire day of ~~manual labor~~ cleaning.

After I moved the living room furniture, (including an elliptical machine,) wrangled a million pound carpet cleaner up three flights of stairs, shampooed the carpet, moved the furniture back, vacuumed the furniture, carried the carpet cleaner plus 4 bags of trash downstairs, did a load of dishes, a load of laundry, and scrubbed down the kitchen... yes, after all that I had to make the pizza for my friend. Of course this meant I made one for myself for dinner as well. It always cracks me up to watch the dough go from this:

To this:

And then to this :)

Yum! And yes I know it's a hideous plate. It came from J.

Like I said, I'm exhausted. The final part of the Real Housewives NJ reunion is on tonight and I can't wait to see it. It's actually on now but I'm waiting and recording it so I can fast forward commercials. I hate commercials. Anyway, back to work tomorrow but it's all good cause I'm excited to meet Danielle and hang out with her Wednesday. For now, I have a date with New Jersey and some of this:

Excuses, Excuses

2010-09-05T22:50:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's been almost a week since I last posted. Sorry guys.. the last few days have totally gotten away from me. I had a migraine for a week straight and it took a LOT out of me. I'm in a crunch time at work and therefore have ended up spending the work hours super stressed. I came home from work and all I wanted to do was collapse and not think about anything. This weekend has been spent cleaning cause Danielle is coming to stay with me, yay!! But as I've explained in the past, I'm not the neatest person on earth. Bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, check. (Minus a load or so of dishes.) Tomorrow I have to tackle the living room and the carpets and then everything will be ready to go. I'm excited since this is my first blogger meetup! (And praying that for once I can actually take a perfectly clean house and maybe, I don't know, KEEP IT THAT WAY. We will see..)

I also don't have any food pics for you. But I haven't eaten anything you haven't already seen before. Today I had mac and cheese for breakfast, apple jacks for lunch, and a yogurt mess for dinner. I'm aware that none of that really makes any sense but it's what I wanted at those times. I forget how strenuous cleaning is so right now my back and legs are super sore. I took Molly for a walk this evening to stretch my legs, I think we went for a mile or so and it was nice and relaxing. Right now as I'm typing this I'm realizing I'm starving... it's 11 at night, oh what to do. Anyway, this has turned into rambling and was never very interesting to begin with so I will end this now. I hope you are all enjoying your long weekend, I will see you soon :)

Chocolate Cake!!

2010-08-30T22:31:00.000-04:00

The big secret from yesterday was that I was making a cake for a friend at work for her birthday. Sunshine, (real name, fact,) had her birthday this month and even though I was late (bad friend, fact,) I decided to make her a cake. It was bad enough that it rained on Sunshine's birthday :)

I got a couple of recipes off the internet, if I can find them later or tomorrow I will link to them. The first was for chocolate buttercream frosting.

Seriously, I could have eaten this with a spoon right from the bowl.

After the frosting came the cake:

All was going well until...

Fail

I tried to take it out of the pan too soon and it all fell apart. Deep breaths. I needed two so I just sucked it up and started over. All came out well in the end.

Isn't it pretty?

The best part is that Sunshine liked it. For someone who is the pickiest eater on the planet, this was a huge success. The rest of my team like it as well. All I brought home was an empty plate. I'm really sorry for the lack of links to recipes but I will find them and link them tomorrow. I was cleaning tonight and it's late and I'm too tired to look for them at the moment.

I'm not having the best day either. I have personal stuff going on right now that I don't want to get into, but it's taking a huge toll on my mood. Not to mention getting an infuriating facebook message from someone I barely know attacking my religious and political beliefs. Those are not things that I tend to mention on this blog and I still won't, but there is nothing worse than arguing over those two things. It never gets anywhere and at this point in history, there is no such thing as "let's agree to disagree." Although I did try that and it didn't work. UGH. Hopefully I get a good night's sleep and wake up for a head-clearing run. I think I will watch a little RHONJ reunion to put me to sleep. Nothing like Danielle's craziness to put a smile on my face :)

Homemade Pizza and a Beer, The Dinner of Champions

2010-08-29T18:19:00.000-04:00

Phew.. this has been a long hot day. I've been slaving away all day in the kitchen, sweating and cursing and breaking things and making new ones. I have to hold off telling you part of it till tomorrow cause shhhh, it's a secret. But I can fill you in on dinner!

Dinner was homemade pizza, made with the same crust I used to make this. The recipe for the crust is here. I made two, one for J and one for me. I started mixing the dough in the kitchenaide.

Then I formed a ball, rubbed it with olive oil, and let it rise for an hour. I ended up with this:

While it was rising, I got the toppings together:

Pepperoni, pepper, onion for J. Mushroom, pineapple, pepper for me.

I split the dough and made two pizzas.

J's

Mine

Cook em up!!!

Sorry about that. I got a little carried away and forgot I was a food blogger before I cut into mine. It was very, very good. Especially when washed down with a Labatt Blue Light Lime :) Bud Light Lime used to be my favorite beer, but since Labatt started making a lime beer, it has trumped all others. Labatt is my favorite brand since I'm almost Canadian you know. I come from a town that waves both flags after all.

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Mine was pretty boring and uneventful so this is all the fun stuff I have for y'all today. See you tomorrow when I can share the rest of my day!

Working Overtime For No Extra Money Blows

2010-08-26T22:44:00.000-04:00

Seriously. Y'all don't even know.

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday. I found myself with not a whole lot to say and I figured better to skip it rather than bore everyone. This hasn't been the best week. I don't really know why, other than I started my period the other day. (Sorry to any men reading this right now.) I will be at work and counting the minutes till I can go home and that's not really like me. I'm really tired which I'm sure is related to this time of the month. It's just ugh. The first couple of days this week I was SO BORED at work. My job is like this, it goes from boring to slammed to boring to slammed, all in a cycle. So guess what happened... today I got slammed. It started yesterday but today it all really hit the fan. I woke up with a migraine so I didn't go running. I couldn't get rid of it all day so I was sort of drugged on meds and just trying to get through the day. At 4:00, I had a meeting where I found out that there is work to be done that needs to be done by tomorrow morning at 10am. Seriously?? I came home and relaxed for a while and finally got rid of the headache, and then sucked it up and logged into work and spent two tedious hours inputting data from a spreadsheet. I just finished and I don't even have the energy to shower. I washed my hair in the kitchen sink and am going to call it a night in a few minutes.

To try to say something positive about the week, I have two things: First, I think I mentioned that my car needs some extensive repairs. I had a quote from my mechanic for about $1200 worth of work, and could be cut down to $630 before taxes if I didn't repair something that was recommended, but not necessary. Being broke at the moment, I decided on the $630 repairs obviously. The thing is, I'm not too thrilled with my mechanic lately. I used to love them and felt like they really did a good job, but the past few times I've gone something bad has happened. This all came to a head when I got an oil change and my Check Engine light came on right afterwards. I brought it in, they said they checked all fluids and they didn't know what was going on but they were sure it wasn't related to the oil change. I got home and had a bad feeling and popped the hood. Look at that, totally out of coolant. They checked my fluids? Really? I'm pretty sure coolant is a fluid, and a pretty necessary one in the 100 degree NC summer we have been having. Anyway, I'm rambling... so I was talking to a friend and she asked me to bring the estimate to her mechanic and ask if they could do it cheaper. So I did, I literally walked in and slapped it on the counter and said, "Can you beat this?" Mind you, I brought the $630 estimate. After checking and looking everything over and looking at the car, they brought me their estimate. It was for $566, AFTER taxes. But wait... it was for the work that was originally quoted at $1200. Sold, done, it's getting fixed tomorrow. Oh yeah, and this place will bring me to and from work as well. Fabulous, fabulous. Do you need to ask if I will be switching mechanics?

The second thing is that I ran twice this week. This may seem like a failure but I don't think so. Tuesday it was pouring rain, so I missed it. Today I was dealing with the migraine and was absolutely unable to go. Tomorrow the car needs to be in at 7am, so there won't be time. I plan to work out this weekend to make up for it but I am proud that the two days where I woke up and was able to go, I went. I wasn't lazy, I didn't choose to sleep for another hour, I just did it. That makes me happy.

I'm about to pass out so I'm going to sign off now. I apologize for no pics, if it makes you feel better, you have seen all the food before. I am not being creative this week :) I hope you all have a great Friday!

An Amazing Salad

2010-08-24T21:28:00.000-04:00

You are all about to be treated to almost a full day of meals from me. Crazy, I know, I don't think I've ever photo'd every meal of the day. You're welcome :)

I woke up this morning all set to go running. My breakfast/lunch was packed and ready to be picked up from the fridge, I drank a bunch of water last night, went to bed early, etc. I was awake enough to get up before 6 so imagine my frustration when it was pouring rain at that time. I'm just not hardcore enough to run in the rain. Back to bed I went. I will try again tomorrow but I promise as long as it isn't raining I will go! I just got off the phone with my best friend, we promised each other that by the time we see each other at Christmas, we each will have lost 20 pounds. Not to mention that I will also have Brittany to answer to :)

I was starving when I finally got up an hour later so I made my new favorite thing:

Toast with peanut butter, half a smashed banana, drizzled with honey. It was easy, quick and filling. I also ate a yogurt mess later in the morning, but I figure you can only see so many pictures of those :) Lunch was the salad I promised you all yesterday. I sat down and got it together, only to realize I had left my camera at my desk. I went back to get it and Jenny said, "You better take a picture since you promised on the blog that you would!" The perils of having IRL people reading the blog... ;)

Spinach, iceberg lettuce, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds, 1/2 avocado, 1/2 mango, feta cheese, topped with organic orange-cranberry vinaigrette. It's really good, and actually very filling. I never cease to be surprised when a salad fills me up without any bread or anything else. I think it must be the fats in the avocado, mango and seeds. Either way it's a good thing!

After a painfully long boring day at work, I came home and made dinner. I realized that I'm in a serious pasta slump lately with all the shrimp pasta and mac n cheese. It seems like every night I have some variety of pasta. Tonight I decided (grudgingly) to break pattern.

Two over easy eggs and cinnamon raisin Ezekiel toast with Earth Balance. It was filling but not super satisfying. I am a carb freak and as such, I tend to wayy overeat pasta and breads. When I realize that it's out of control and I start to cut back, I have cravings and get a little miserable. Don't misunderstand, I am definitely not advocating low carb. I clearly had 3 pieces of bread, granola, and a bunch of fruit today. But for me it's not about what I eat, it's about portion size. I let myself eat as much fruits and veggies as I want but portioning pasta is hard for me. I can easily put back half a box in one sitting when a serving size is actually 1/7 of the box. At 200 calories a serving, that means without paying attention I can eat up to 700 calories worth of pasta and that doesn't count the sauce, cheese, olive oil, etc that I top it with. I also don't count calories and don't believe they are all created equal, but I DO know that packing away 1000 calories without even realizing it isn't a good thing. So I need to cut back to "regular" sizes even if it means being a little miserable for a couple of days. I will adjust :)

I'm out now peeps. I gotta prepare to run tomorrow and hope it doesn't rain. Have a fabulous night :)

Advice Needed

2010-08-23T21:12:00.000-04:00

Do you see this sweaty mess?? I woke up early this morning and finally went running. (By the way, running is a total exaggeration. I went "wogging," as Brittany would say :) Aka, walk/jogging.) I went to sleep early last night and woke up this morning, in the dark, and forced myself out of bed. Molly was super excited. I stumbled out the door, hated myself for the first half, woke up for the second half, and felt great by the time I got home. It was a terrible time, 2.6 miles in 45 minutes, but I took practically the entire summer off and now I'm back at square one. We had gotten as good as 25 minutes. We will again, I'm not too worried about it.

Getting ready for work was kind of rough though. Even after a cold shower, I couldn't stop sweating! I am not one of those people who doesn't sweat. I sweat a TON. It takes a while for me to cool down so after the shower it was pretty difficult to straighten sweat-wet hair and put on makeup. The makeup went on ok.. the hair ended up in a bun. There was no saving it. Plus, I had to get food ready so I didn't have time to just sit down, chill, and cool off. So tonight, I got everything ready for food so that if I go tomorrow I will be able to take a few minutes to sit down after running. I'm hoping to go tomorrow, but there are no promises.

This afternoon I got a migraine. I learned a long time ago that strenuous exercise causes me to get migraines. I first discovered it with spinning, which was later at night and I would wake up with the migraine. Now, even though my time may make it look as though my run isn't a huge deal, I find it difficult and therefore strenuous. I get really really hot and that is the main cause I think. Also, even though I do my best to relax I always have tight shoulders and neck afterwards as well. This also causes headaches. I googled "exercise induced migraines" this afternoon and I was shocked to find out that up to 35% of people suffer from this! And it's for the reasons I thought, overheating and tensing up and also the spike in blood pressure that comes with exercising. I like working out, and I need to work out, but I don't always want to be suffering a migraine every day that I do work out. Does anyone else have this problem? Are there any suggestions? I'm taking Excedrin migraine for them but I'm sure it's not healthy to take them every day. I drink a ton of water, I warm up and cool down, everything that was suggested. But if any of you have a tried and true idea I'm all ears.

Sorry for the lack of food pics today. I made a great new salad for lunch today but didn't have my camera. I will try to take a pic tomorrow, it's SO good I will have to share it. Breakfast and dinner were standard and don't really need mentioning :) I'm off to stretch my tight muscles and watch one more episode of Without a Trace. Bed early so that I'm more likely to wake up in the morning, goodnight blog friends :)

A Strange Saturday Evening

2010-08-21T21:22:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! How is your weekend going? Mine is ok, I have been sort of laying around all day. I planned to exercise today but I've been so behind on sleep that I let myself just sleep all morning. This afternoon I cleaned my kitchen. It took forever, I hadn't cleaned since I got home and J let it get to be a mess and it's kind of built and built till it was a little ridiculous. Everything is good now though :) After the kitchen was clean I spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV. J went to see family so it was definitely a perfect chance to veg out.

Dinner was my shrimp pasta minus the shrimp. I took the tomatoes and cream and put on top of pasta. It was really good and quick. After dinner I really wanted something sweet, but there isn't anything like that in the apartment at the moment. Until I remembered the heavy cream I used for dinner... and had a fabulous thought...

Do you see where this is going?

Yummy :)

Homemade whipped cream and blackberries. I can be very creative when I want something!

I'm watching something odd at the moment on TV and I feel compelled to share.. you know how you are channel surfing and you end up watching something you would never plan to watch? Well, that's what happened tonight when I came across this show on polyamory. (No clue if that's spelled right.) Basically, the show is following a woman who has two boyfriends, and they all live together. Her and one of the men have a baby together, and the father of the baby also dates other women. The other guy seems happy to just be with her and help with the baby. It's definitely interesting. They all appear to be completely happy with this arrangement and everyone is the best of friends, and I don't really know what to think. On the one hand, I think it's totally bizarre and absolutely not for me. I see her come in from a walk with one man and give the other man a kiss, and then he turns around and introduces her to his date. I'm not really a jealous person, but I would definitely NOT be ok with my man introducing me to his date. Not even if I had just come in from a walk with my OTHER man. On the other hand, if they are all truly ok with this relationship and are happy like this, then to each their own. It's none of my business. If nothing else it makes for some really interesting TV watching. On a purely feminist note, (another thing I definitely usually am not,) I am thoroughly enjoying that this is a woman who has multiple men. Whenever you hear of this kind of thing it's usually a man with multiple women. It's nice to see the tables be turned!

These Are My Confessions...

2010-08-20T16:28:00.000-04:00

...just when I thought I said all I could say my chick on the side says she's got one on the way...

This post is sparked by a conversation I had with a coworker the other day, about health habit "do's" and "don't's" that we either do or don't do. (Wow, that really didn't make any sense at all.) There are certain things that I have in the past tried to do because I'm "supposed" to do them, and things that I DO do that I felt kind of guilty about because I'm "not" supposed to do them. This led me to think of things both health and non-health related, and before I knew it I had a list that made me look like the biggest misfit on earth. BUT... I truly don't care anymore. I am who I am, and this is the list of confessions that make me, me.

I love mayonnaise. Plain, regular, Hellman's mayo. And don't give me that "lite" junk either. I love how people are all, "mustard please," and trying to tell me that mustard should be a healthy replacement and how I shouldn't eat mayonnaise, and mayonnaise is gross. Back off. Mustard has a place, but that place is NOT mixed with tuna fish, and it only has half a place in a cheese sandwich. The other half is for mayonnaise.
I also like iceberg lettuce. I will let you other food bloggers regain composure... no, I do not eat solely iceberg in salads or sandwiches. But I can tell you that I like to mix it in there because I like crunch, and as much as I like raw spinach, crunch it does not.
I despise broccoli. For most people this is their most loved vegetable but I hate it and always have. It doesn't matter if it's raw or cooked, covered in cheese or marinara, I do not like it and I am going to stop forcing myself to eat it. I'm 26, I don't have to eat it if I don't want too.
Two very popular items in the blog world, nut butters and figs, are underwhelming to me. (Somewhere, a food blogger's head is exploding. I can feel it.) Everyone talks about both of these things so much that I had to try it all, almond and cashew butter and figs. The almond and cashew butter... meh. Definitely not going to spend all that money when I like crunchy peanut butter better for a fraction of the cost. And even then I really only eat peanut butter stirred into oatmeal or the occasional PB&J. Figs to me taste like an under ripe peach. I truly don't see the hoop-la surrounding this fruit.
I use white sugar. Yep. I said it. With that being said, I rarely come across a need to sweeten anything other than my morning coffee, so it's not like it's a whole lot of white sugar. I had stopped a while back and was using Agave nectar but there seems to be controversy about that now. I flat out refuse to use anything artificial to sweeten anything I eat so sugar it is. If I need a lot for baking and such, I do try to go organic.
I am extremely label conscious. (See, I had you all thinking just now that I had abandoned all health beliefs and was running for the hills, didn't I?) I am very very VERY aware of the HFCS, hydrogenated oils, and artificial sweeteners running rampant in food today and 99% of the time I want none of it. The other 1% is attributed to the random Apple Jacks cravings, when I want candy, or at someones house and have no other choice. It's fine with me to have a teeny amount of these things in my life, but by no means ever do I want to consume them daily. Or even weekly for that matter.
I have never in my life eaten a Twinkie. I have also never watched the Goonies. I put these two things together in one because it elicits the most "omg!!!" reactions from people. Due to the shocking nature of those statements, it has now become a bizarre mission for me to never engage in Twinkies or the Goonies, and continue shocking people for years to come.
I watch a LOT of TV and I like it. I thought of this one today when my friend Jenny (hi Jenny!) announced that her and her fiance are getting rid of cable after football season. She is excited because this means they will find something else to do together and hopefully spend more time together. I am all for living life and not being attached to the TV. But voluntarily giving up cable is not an option for me. I love my RH, Jersey Shore, Criminal Minds, 90210, Melrose, Grey's, and I am going to stop there before you all think there is a serious issue going on. I enjoy going home after work and zoning out. I don't mind spending time watching TV with J. I like it.

This final confession isn't so much a confession as something that I have decided not to care about anymore. Since I moved to NC from NY, I have had numerous people tell me that I come across as unfriendly, bitchy, and rude. This has come from coworkers, both boss's, people who have become friends who have told me their first impression of me, etc. I guess it made me mad mostly because the latest conversation with my boss was about how I don't smile at people in the hall. He actually had someone complain about this. Seriously, you clearly do not have enough work to do if you are running to my boss to tattle that I did not smile at you in the hall. Get a life. And the funny thing is, I think I'm a friendly person. I think I treat people well, and I think I do well covering (at work anyway) when I dislike someone. No, I don't walk around with a perma smile and never have, but this doesn't mean I'm unfriendly. It used to bother me, it doesn't anymore. I have come to realize that this is not on me, it's on other people because if they talked to me, they would see that I'm nice and outgoing. They simply choose not to try. Their fault, not mine.

Don't I look like a nice person????

Owen's Blog Debut!

2010-08-18T22:08:00.000-04:00

Oh my God. What is that?? It looks delicious. Oh yeah, that's right. It's the obsession I can't get over. This time there was vanilla Chobani, Bear Naked granola, blackberries and raspberries. Blackberries and raspberries are BOGO at the store right now, and even though they aren't organic, mama needs to fix a very expensive car part right now and BOGO berries are heaven sent at the moment. And FYI, I'm hoping that name dropping things like Chobani and Bear Naked will cause the companies to sent me like, lifetime supplies of these things.

All Mixed Up

Dinner tonight was Bang Bang Wednesday from Bonefish, aka $5 Bang Bang shrimp!! I also got this the other day after the horrific airport experience and it was basically heaven in a takeout bag. Did you know that if you get the order of shrimp, you get a little loaf of bread also? And... that I have connections with Carraba's that hook me up with spices, so I mixed them in EVOO and had a feast.

Yes I had already dug into the bread before the pictures. I'm such a bad blogger. Truth is, I didn't even finish this meal. I was stuffed and I have about a third of the shrimp left in the fridge. The other day I inhaled it and was comfortably full, but I guess the difference between Monday and today is there was nothing in between the yogurt bowl at 10 and the shrimp at 8:30 on Monday. Today there was an unpictured PB&J, some Doritos, a little bit of cottage cheese, and a Bojangles egg and cheese biscuit. (Cottage cheese and PB&J were all organic, the Doritos were a snack size, and biscuit was a terrible, terrible craving:) ) There also was a lot of desk-sitting, and the other day was all running around at stupid airports.. coughcoughLaGuardiaclearthroat... You see the difference. So I'm thinking I will take the extra shrimp and top a salad with them for lunch tomorrow. That sounds fabulous right?

I'm off to finish watching Kourtney and Khloe, and then probably at least one episode of Without a Trace or something. Kourtney, I have no clue what you see in Scott. He's a total douchebag, you can do MUCH better, you are beautiful and you have a beautiful baby, a million men who do NOT wear pastel sweaters tied around their necks would be more than happy to treat you well. Just sayin... and speaking of adorable baby boys, I got permission to post Owen pics from Owen's mommy, so prepare to see the most adorable child on earth. Are you ready???

See you all tomorrow :)

Andd I'm Back!

2010-08-18T11:37:00.000-04:00

Whew. Hello everyone. It has been a whirlwind few days! I would have posted last night but the person I "steal" internet from went and secured their connection. WTF???? I need to suck it up and buy my own wireless router. It's on the list right after I fix my car. ANYWAY...It was a decent trip, some things happened that I didn't want to happen at all, but at the same time I wasn't altogether surprised either. If you knew and understood the dynamics of my family, it would make sense. But I don't want to get into all that now. I did get to meet my brother's girlfriend and I really like her. I also met my best friend's son, (my "nephew,") and attended his 2nd birthday party, I love him right to pieces!!! He is completely and totally adorable. I am not going to post a picture though, because his mother is very private and I don't know if she would like that. I will have to clear it with her first. Just know he is the cutest little boy on the planet :)

In other (not so fabulous news,) I have a serious issue with USAirways at the moment. I had 4 flights with them.... they messed up all four. We were delayed twice without explanation. One flight had the roughest landing I have ever experienced, I'm talking the plane tilting wildly from side to side, and sudden drops that made my stomach come up into my throat. Not pleasant, I hate roller coasters and that's exactly what it felt like. Although, in my opinion, the pilot did it on purpose to get back at the most annoying family on the plane... the family with 2 children that screamed the entire flight.... the family that when we were 2nd in line for takeoff, rushed their 3 year old to the bathroom. I will never forget the flight attendant's face when she asked in disbelief, "Why is he not wearing a diaper???" (The answer, by the way, was, "We have diapers but are in the process of potty training." Um, buddy? Put the damn diaper on. This is not the time.) We lost our spot in line. Then, when we were about to take off again, someone else went into the bathroom. The pilot came on, "Attention passengers. Whoever is in the bathroom needs to get out now, because I am not losing our spot in line for a second time. We WILL be taking off in about one minute, so hurry it up!" In a way, I don't blame him for the landing. I was just as irritated.

This is all nothing compared to the final flight, which due to an EXTREME unexplained delay by USAir, I was flying American. (And don't even get me started on trying to find a whole new airline at LaGuardia.. that's a whole other blog post, suffice to say I will be avoiding that airport like the plague from here on out.) Anyway, the change was sudden and took place within 20 minutes, so US did not transfer my luggage. I'm going on day two of work without makeup and my hair back due to lack of a straightener. Thankfully, I am pretty sure it's coming today. But this warranted an extra hour and 15 minutes at the airport due to the long line out the baggage claim door, and the one SUPER slow old woman working the desk. Awesome. I was supposed to be home by 5:30. I finally made it at almost 9. If not for a surprise takeout order of Bang Bang Shrimp from Bonefish, I may have totally broken down before getting home. And I may or may not have totally cried anyway as soon as I laid down. It was a really stressful day. BUT... it is what it is, right? As soon as I have my luggage back I can put the whole thing behind me and make sure from here on out that there will be no more USAir, or connections through LaGuardia.

Alright, enough complaining. Although I will say you are lucky, because that is an extremely condensed version of all the things that went wrong. Here are some pictures from the happier parts of the journey:

All these wonderful fabulous friends of mine made my trip so fun, I always have a great time with all of them. They are the best friends a girl could ask for and I miss them like crazy!

I will see you later IF I can find a wireless network that isn't smart enough to be secured :) Have a great day everyone!

Andd I'm OUT!!

2010-08-11T22:54:00.000-04:00

All Packed

I am all ready for my trip home to NY in the morning. With the exception of last minute toiletries, this is it. It looks so small! If you know me, you would know that I usually pack like crazy and end up wearing about 1/3 of what I bring. I'm trying something new, but having a slight panic attack that I will want something and won't have it. Oh well, no turning back now! I'm very, very sleepy now so I think this is going to be a short post since I need to be up at 3am. You can bet I will be sleeping on that plane!

Since I'm from Northern NY and it's the country surrounded by more country, I probably won't be blogging while I'm gone. My parents have dial up internet and I don't have the patience. I'm also not bringing my laptop because it's my work laptop and I need there to be no way I can be coerced into logging on. There was a small emergency last night that I spent all day at work trying to fix, and I had to leave the rest in my boss's hands. Since it wasn't my fault at all that this issue happened, and I worked all day trying to help fix it, I don't want to be spending any part of vacation working on it. I told my boss he could call if he needs too, but I know if I take the computer I will feel guilty and end up working. So... if I can borrow my brother's laptop and have the time to find somewhere with WiFi, I will try to post. If not, well, I will see you all next week! Send up extra prayers for me, I have a fear of flying and I'm starting to get all nervous.

Molly knows something is happening, I got a big kiss right after this pic. I will miss my girls and my boy!

The 100th

2010-08-10T22:00:00.000-04:00

Hello friends! Today is the 100th post of TLD!! I don't even know what to post about on this special occasion.... Hey, on the 100th episode of Friends, Phoebe gives birth to her brother's triplets. I don't know if I can top that. :)

Today started off at about 12:30 this morning, when I finally went to sleep. My mother called late last night because my brother's girlfriend was having severe abdominal cramping and she was scared. After I talked to her and calmed her down they went to the ER, where it turns out it was probably a side effect of a medication. Crisis averted, but no sleep. I had intentions to at least try to run, but there was no way when the alarm went off that I was going anywhere. I haven't really woken up today at all, and right after this post I will be going to bed. I need to catch up!

Anyway, I got to work this morning and looked on the calendar and saw that my insurance was due today. So I get online to pay it, (remember, it was due TODAY,) and the page says, "This policy has been cancelled due to non-payment." The HELL? Cancelled? At 10am on the due date? Oh hell no.. and I called and the agent of course has no idea what has happened, and of course it was reinstated but how annoying. And the even more annoying part... this happens almost every month. Either on the day it's due, or within a few days if I'm slightly late. Thanks a lot Allstate. I don't feel as if I'm in good hands. (Lame, yes, I had to say it.)

My day went on until I came home and stumbled in the door practically asleep, with all intentions of taking a nap... and then I couldn't sleep. Does this ever happen to you?? Man.. I was so mad. I've been relaxing watching Without a Trace and Criminal Minds, but still. All I wanted was about an hour of sleep. I was too tired to plan any kind of amazing meal, so "breakfast" it was.

Egg, pepper, whole wheat toast

2nd yogurt mess of the day

All together now..

In honor of Holly, who likes to add Froot Loops to her yogurt messes, I decided to put in some Apple Jacks. There is Chobani vanilla yogurt, berries, granola, and Apple Jacks. (The yogurt is under there, I swear.) I buy sugary cereals for myself maybe 3 times a year, but when the craving comes, there is no fighting it. It's usually Apple Jacks or Lucky Charms. My mother never allowed that food in the house so I definitely do not eat it regularly. Sometimes though, there is nothing like a bowl of sugar and chemicals :) (For the record, it was fabulous. And I may or may not have went back for more cereal and yogurt. And then, MAYBE, just cereal dry from the box. I won't confirm or deny anything.)

I am off to load the dishwasher, put the clothes from the washer to the dryer, and hopefully be in bed asleep in 15 minutes! Ciao!

It's Like It Never Happened..

2010-08-09T21:14:00.000-04:00

I have a massive disappointment for y'all tonight.

Today after I came home, I actually went to the gym. That's right, I came home, changed, walked to the apartment fitness center, did 30 minutes of intervals on the treadmill, and walked back. I took pics of my sweaty self as proof, and showered it up. Then, I made J a couple breakfast packets, aka potatoes, bacon, onion, pepper, sea salt, and garlic powder. I took pictures of the whole process. I ate dinner, laid back, grabbed the laptop and camera... and the memory card wasn't inside. The pictures are saved on my camera, but not on the memory card and since I have no cord, I can't get them on the computer :( I can't figure out how to save them to the card either, so I guess I'm SOL for this post. BUT, I swear I worked out. I'm pretty proud of myself actually, 30 minutes of intervals. I can relax guilt-free tonight.

While I was on the down cycles of my intervals, I was reading a magazine whose health advice I actually usually respect. Remember my Cosmo rant? Well, this SELF magazine had a great quote inside. It's a little long, but it really made me think about exercise, and health in general, and how I really need to get off this lazy streak and get moving, more for my health than anything else.

"On average, you replace about 1 percent of the cells in your body every day. And each cell comes in a little stronger or a little weaker than the one before, depending on the chemical signals you send by how you live your life. Thus, you end each day with a body that is a little bit younger or older than before- your choice. Nutrition and emotion are key players in this process, but the most powerful change you can make is to exercise.."

I love this. It reminds me of an article I read not too long ago, which discussed how you really are what you eat. It talked about how your body's only source of energy to replace and repair cells is the food that is consumed. That's it. So if you are a person who intakes a lot of unhealthy fats, a lot of chemicals, a lot of processed foods, that's all your body has to work with. But if you make an effort to eat whole, good, unprocessed foods, your body has all those vitamins and minerals and antioxidants to work with. I truly think this is why people who live healthy lifestyles genuinely look better. I'm not talking about weight at all, I'm talking about the glow of the skin, the hair, the nails. The cells are healthier, which makes for a healthier person overall. I can definitely tell a difference in my hair and skin since eating a more "whole foods" and organic diet. I need to work on my shortcomings, like not exercising, and make myself get up and get out there. I know I talk a lot about wanting to lose 20 pounds, 20 pounds, 20 pounds. And yes, I should honestly lose this weight. But more than weight loss, it's that I want to be a healthy person. I don't want diabetes, heart disease, cancer. I don't want to have to take fist fulls of pills when I'm older. I don't want to physically age faster than what nature intends. I know from watching family members that this means taking control NOW, right now while I'm young and can set a solid base for the rest of my life. Not later, after a heart attack or chemo, or gastric bypass. I don't want a "scare" to set me straight. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and mainly that's all I'm trying to do. After all that, THEN it's about the 20 pounds. (Which, lets be honest, if I lose it I will be a healthier person.)

Anyway, wow, that's not at all what I planned for this evening. I guess the loss of pictures wasn't the end of the world. I think I will sign off now and spend the rest of my evening reading the magazine and watching Criminal Minds :) Goodnight blogworld!

Food and Friends

2010-08-08T21:09:00.000-04:00

Happy Sunday night everyone! Sorry for not posting yesterday. One of the perils of "stealing" internet is that the people who own the signal shut it off sometimes. That's what happened yesterday, so I have 2 days worth of pics and news for you. Well, I lied. There isn't really any news. It's been a pretty low-key weekend. Anyway, here is breakfast from yesterday:

I woke up starving and knew the usual yogurt mess wasn't going to cut it. So I added a couple of organic 365 brand blueberry waffles. It was definitely as good as it looks.

I've been trying to find and fix new foods lately. Now that I don't work at Target anymore, I have all this free time to try new things. The last new recipe came from Jenna, and so did the one from last night's dinner. This was also really good, but I think that next time I would add more veggies and such. Here are the pics from the Cheesy Zucchini Pizza:

J has been obsessed with the shrimp dinner from the other night so I made that for him again last night. It's always a win when I make something new and he likes it. He comes from VA and is used to heavy Southern foods. I'm from NY and grew up with a health nut mother, so our eating habits couldn't be more different. A lot of the time he has no choice since I'm the one who shops and cooks. (Evil laugh.) We had a small conversation about this today actually, that went something like this:

J: "You can't even front, I've been eating so much better lately, since I started the new job!" (Yeah, J talks like that. He says things like "front" and "trippin." I sound ridiculous when I say all that, and he sounds even more ridiculous when he tries to talk like me. Anyway...)

Me: "Um, no. You have been eating better because I don't work at night anymore so I'm COOKING FOR YOU."

All he could do was laugh. He can't front. (See? Ridiculous.)

This morning I woke up starving again. We were up till about 4 in the morning, watching TV and dozing on and off so I was very sleepy and hungry. I proceeded to make and eat this:

It was so good and definitely filling. I ate, popped in a Friends DVD and went on to watch TV and sleep on and off for most of the day. I woke up starving again, this time randomly for Apple Jacks?? and went grocery shopping. I bought the AJ and ate 2 bowls. I almost never eat food this processed and fake but I really wanted it and went to town on that craving for sure. After that I decided I needed some real food and made myself the shrimp dinner again.

Yes, this is a picture from the other night. I suck.

It's 9:00 at night and Friends is still on, and I think I may go back for one more bowl of Apple Jacks. I'm so rebellious today. I hope you all had a great weekend!

Best Dinner Eva..

2010-08-06T21:23:00.000-04:00

Tonight's dinner was nothing sort of fabulous, for a couple of reasons. First, it tasted great, obviously. Second, it literally took NO skills to make. Third, I watched Gilmore Girls while eating it, so that was clearly the icing on the cake. I'm not going to post the recipe because it came from Jenna at Eat, Live, Run, but you can check it out here.

Shrimp in a creamy tomato sauce. Try it. Right now.

The rest of the day's food was pretty average, my usual yogurt mess for breakfast and leftover mac and cheese for lunch. Yes, with peas. I just cannot rebel against that.

I hope everyone is as excited as I am that it's the WEEKEND. Did this week fly by for everyone else? It did for me. I think it will be this way for a while, just because I love the weekends for the freedom and spending time with J, but then I love the week because that's my alone time to do what I want in the evenings. The only thing I need to change is my lack of motivation to work out. I really need to start running in the mornings. I have too.. I know my happiness isn't dependant on my weight, but I know I would feel better if I got it off. There is nothing like being able to throw on any clothes and know you will be comfortable no matter what. I want that feeling back. I started getting a sore throat and headache today, but if that's gone tomorrow I think I will go running with Molly. I went last weekend. It needs to be a regular habit.

Anyway, I'm off to enjoy the rest of the weekend. Gotta spend time with the boy now since it'll be two weekends before we really get to see each other again. Did I mention how nice he has been this week? Bringing me a flower one morning, breakfast another morning. It's crazy how his whole attitude has changed with this job. I like the change :) See you all tomorrow!

Fair Warning That This Post Has No Real Point

2010-08-05T22:55:00.000-04:00

Good evening :) It's a little late but I've been relaxing listening to all the thunder outside tonight. Last night I was woken out of a sound sleep by the loudest thunder ever. It didn't even sound like thunder, it sounded like explosions. Thank God it started much earlier tonight. I hope it doesn't start again, I was really tired this morning from lack of sleep!

Right now I am watching the premiere of Real Housewives of DC. Eh, I'm not impressed. The drama seems forced and fake, the women seem like they all think they are better than everyone... I know the Housewives of all franchises have attitudes, but these women seem different. All I know is you won't catch me blogging during a NJ show!

As you know, I've been wanting all these childhood foods lately, and tonight was no exception. Mac and cheese it was:

When I was growing up, my mother always put peas in the mac and cheese. I mixed them in because I don't really like peas but they were tolerable that way. I wonder if it's weird that I still dislike peas, but I still put them in my mac and cheese? I am a grownup, I can do what I want! But I cannot eat mac and cheese without peas, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Thanks for the guilt mom! (PS, I have to say two things about the show right now. One woman's husband was being honored for fashion, and his wife offered to help him dress. He says, "I am a grown ass man, I can dress myself." Um, he came down in bright red, tight pants. Then, pink paisley pants. The deciding vote was the seafoam green pants. I'm sorry sir, but whoever gave you that award and let you think you are a "grown-ass man who can dress himself," well sweetie, they are playing a dirty trick on you. The second thing is that there is one black woman on the show, and for some reason every time the other Housewives talk to her, they change their whole tone and start waving their heads and hands and saying thing like "girlfriend!!' Really? I don't think I will be following this show too closely.)

Sorry, that was a tangent. Back to the food. After stuffing my face lately with bagels and mac and cheese and cinnamon toast, I felt like I needed some nourishment. Enter this green beauty:

FYI, I have no opinion towards Michigan either way. This is J's cup.

This is what one frozen banana, 3 handfuls of blueberries, 5 handfuls of spinach, and about a cup of almond milk looks like when it's all blended together. I needed that and it tasted really good. The bad news is that for some reason, the blender broke in the middle of making it. The pitcher part won't attach to the base all of a sudden and I don't get how to fix it. I don't even see how it's broken. So I had to hold the entire thing together while I was pouring it, and even then it leaked everywhere. I guess I need a new blender, and I need a good one for about $50 at the most. Suggestions, anyone?

I'm pretty sleepy so I guess I will wrap up this pretty boring post. I blame the Housewives of DC for sucking all the "interesting" out of me tonight. Snoozefest begets snoozefest!

Childhood Cravings and a Weird Crush

2010-08-03T21:03:00.000-04:00

Why hello there, bloggy friends! Are the rest of you freezing cold in your homes obsessively watching Criminal Minds? No? Just me? Ok. I turned off the AC, so that's a start. The TV on the other hand.. well, it's staying on. I physically can't shut it off. I have a problem.

Anyway, I did something today that I have never done before. And I did it for you.

I took a picture of breakfast. At work.

Do you know how ridiculous it feels to take a picture of your food at your desk? But it looked especially delicious this morning, plus I am obsessed with this meal right now so there will be no need for more breakfast pics till I change the obsession :) Anyway, that would be vanilla Chobani, Bear Naked granola with dried fruit, fresh strawberries and fresh blackberries. I can't get enough of this, I think I could eat it all day if I let myself.

Speaking of things I can eat all day, I ate (what else) a bagel for lunch. No pictures, I'm sure you are bagel-pictured-out at this point. However, dinner was another bagel. Between my repetitive TV watching and food eating, you must think I am SOO boring. I jazzed this one up a little though and turned it into a tuna melt.

Albacore tuna, tomato slice, swiss cheese

I seem to be having cravings for childhood foods lately... cinnamon toast, homemade mac and cheese, spaghetti, and now tuna melts. All my favorite childhood foods, I wonder if this has anything to do with my trip home next week? Yep, I am going home for 5 days to NY next week. I'm excited, but sad that it can't be for longer. I heard that my brother's new girlfriend is a fabulous healthy cook, so I'm looking forward to letting someone cook for me!

The update on the doggy meetup is a little surprising. But then again, just when I think she knows Molly, she turns it around on me. Don't get me wrong, she had a full out red zone ~~10 minutes~~ moment. She lunged, fur flew off her back, she crouched, she jumped..... and then she stopped. She stopped. She sat down, chilled out, and started looking around at other things. The vet tech who was with us said her body language was really good, her tail was wagging in a friendly manner and her ears were down. Its like part of her wants to play, but the protective, jealous part wants to fight. We didn't let them get too close today for the simple fact that poor Ripley is literally 1/3 the size of Molly and a lot more relaxed, but tomorrow a muzzle that was ordered by the vet comes in. It's a basket muzzle, which means she can still open her mouth, she can drink water, etc, but her jaws are covered in the basket so she can't bite. We are going to continue the meetups throughout the weekend and reevaluate then.

Anyway, I have to get back to Criminal Minds now. Does anyone else have an out of nowhere crush on Reid? I should be more of a Morgan fan, but for some reason, it's Reid all the way.

The heart wants what it wants. I don't question these things. Good night loves!

Giveaway Winner and a Dilemma

2010-08-02T20:26:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting yesterday. It was a crazy day. I don't even know where to start, so let's get with what I know you all want to know... WHO WON MY FIRST GIVEAWAY?? Well, according to random.org, it was comment #6.

"The Zhush said... Great giveaway...would use it on some cookware!" Zhush, please give me your email address and CSN will send you your $40 gift certificate!!

My day yesterday started out with breakfast and my current read:

Bear naked granola, (my favorite granola ever,) strawberries, and cinnamon raisin Ezekial bread topped with cashew butter.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not way into nut butters. I never even heard of almond and cashew butter till I started reading other food blogs, but I don't find them to be sent straight from heaven in a jar. Sorry to all the other food bloggers, can I still be part of the club? I do love green monsters. There, that got me back in.

After breakfast I went to church. I am happy to say that I enjoy going to church, and I think I will stick with it. After church was this fabulous salad that I just HAVE to share.

This is spinach, half a zucchini, a mango, an avocado, and feta cheese. I drizzled some olive oil on top, but to be honest it didn't even need anything. It was great on its own.

I laid around most of the afternoon and evening, and at around 9:00 J came in from the balcony and told me that there was a dog running around unattended in the dog park. I had seen that dog down there about 2 hours earlier, so I went down to check it out. Someone had found it running around and locked it in there with a note. It was a small dog, probably 30 pounds at the most, and super friendly. Our neighbor works at Molly's vet, so she went and got a crate and a microchip scanner, and J and I got some food and sat with him. Bad plan. We totally fell in love with him. He is the sweetest dog ever, so affectionate and loving. I could just tell he was grateful for the food and water and he wanted to just be around us, touching us and playing and licking. So, long story short, the owners were found and admitted he had run away, but they were unable to take care of him anyway. He is a free agent. Perfect, so we just adopt him, right? Well yeah.. except you forget that we already own a mountain lion named Molly.

I like to match my pets to the apartment.

Molly is about 3 times the size of the little dog, and 75 times as bitchy. This is not a friendly dog. Every dog she sees immediately becomes target practice. Well, she tries. I'm stronger than her, a fact that frustrates her to no end. Its not for lack of trying on her part that there are no dead dogs in the complex yet. But here is the glimmer of hope: when Molly was a puppy, she lived with another dog. They lived in perfect harmony, playing and living life and watching the sunset at night together. And she currently has a ~~shaky~~ good realtionship with the cat. Both dogs are high energy and like to play. If they can channel that into liking each other and NOT into killing each other, this could be one happy household. I don't know what to do. I have a soft spot for strays, hence how I got Molly to begin with. The owner was going to drown her because she wasn't purebred. I knew I had to have her. And now I have to have this other dog. The vet has a bunch of suggestions on how to get them together, so if J gives the green light, we will start tomorrow.

Someone please tell me this isn't the dumbest thing I've ever done.

Princess Molly

2010-07-31T21:19:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! First of all, have you entered my fabulous first giveaway yet? If not, follow this link and leave a comment on the post. Winner is being chosen on Monday 8/2.

I hope you all are enjoying your Saturday. There isn't much going on up in here today, it's been a nice COOL day filled with some on and off rain. I did do something pretty amazing though. I went for a run. Yes you read that right. Yes you are on TLD blog. (Notice that I changed that from LSD. I don't need that popping up in search engines.) Of course, all week I did it right, I ate right and I hydrated at night in preparation, and never went. Last night, due to J having the car while out with friends and me having no food in the house, I ordered Papa Johns. I drank almost no water. Breakfast was leftover Papa Johns. After "breakfast" I went out. It's a little disheartening to see that my progress has completely backtracked and that my "run" is more like a walk/jog, and is taking 45 minutes again like in the beginning, but at least I went. And... get this... I went in the rain. Who am I??? I figured it had taken me three hours of being awake and mentally yelling at myself ~~that I'm never going to look like Britney Spears at this rate~~ to even get out the door so I was not going to let a little sprinkle deter me. Molly was not pleased. As you know, she is a freakin diva who hates to get wet and kept looking at me like I hate you and will make you pay for this later, and stopped every 3 seconds to shake and try to lead me back home. I had to remind her that I own her, and not the other way around, and there would be no turning back. She had no choice but to suck it up. I blame her hatred of everything wet on J, who in every attempt to not get his sneakers wet has inadvertently taught her to jump over puddles. I kid you not. The dog will NOT step in a puddle. And she will dance around in mud like she isn't a badass looking pitbull mix rocking a Harley collar. You would think she, (and maybe J,) was a little white poodle with a pink bow. Wimps, both of them.

After the ~~pet abuse~~ run, we dragged ourselves up the stairs where Molly promptly laid down in front of her water bowl, and I stretched, showered, and refueled with this greatness:

This would be with a green smoothie made with a frozen banana, a handful of blueberries, almond milk, and somewhere around 3 handfuls of spinach. I pack it in because I can never taste it so might as well put in as much as will fit, right? Notice how it went right up to the brim of the glass. I couldn't have planned that better. I paired it with the last pieces of cinnamon raisin toast topped with eatth balance and cinnamon sugar.

I finally went grocery shopping this afternoon. I didn't make it to the FM, I think we will be doing that tomorrow, but I went to Whole Foods and stocked up on the produce I can't get at the FM, as well as local grass fed beef for J, spaghetti sauce fixin's, cashew butter, (for the first time!!) yogurt, cheese, granola, and a few other odds and ends. Including... bagels!! Thank God, I was totally having withdrawals. $99 later, and I was home. Is it me, or does everything at WF seem to cost $5? I guess that trying to eat as much organic as possible comes with a price tag, but I am willing to pay it when I have the money. After all, prevention is always better than treatment, and I really don't want the cancer and things that come along with all those chemicals and pesticides. Anyway... off the soap box now.

J enjoyed his grass fed beef, underneath all these veggies. He made it sort of a taco salad instead of having actual tacos.

Of course, you know what I had to have:

That would be a cut up nectarine along with it. Dinner of champions.

Well, I'm off now to read some more of my Chelsea book. I started it this afternoon and I'm loving it so far. The girl is crazy.. maybe if I can tear J away from the video game for a minute, we will watch a movie. Either way, the plan is to veg out. See y'all tomorrow!

Fabulous Friday

2010-07-30T18:23:00.000-04:00

Hellooo bloggy peeps! First of all, have you entered my fabulous first giveaway yet? If not, follow this link and leave a comment on the post. Winner is being chosen on Monday 8/2.

How is everyone today? It's FRIDAY peeps!!! Aren't you all excited?? Fridays are so much better now that I don't have to work all weekend at Target. Every Friday at work at the office, people would be all, "Aren't you excited it's Friday?" And I would be like, for what??? I have 2 8 hour shifts to look forward too, no I am NOT excited. Now, I'm the one asking. I love it :)

Today was a particularly fabulous Friday because it was my company picnic at work, and I only needed to put in 3 hours. Then, J and I went to get his first full paycheck from the new job and guess what.. for the first time in almost 2 years, he was able to give me half for bills. (For those that don't know, he was laid off almost 2 years ago and finally just now got a good, full time job!!) I honestly don't even know which one of us was happier about it, because he has been so stressed for so long about not being able to contribute enough, and I have been so stressed working either two jobs, or a crazy amount of overtime at my full time job. Overtime isn't even an option since I got promoted to a salaried position, hence needing to work at Target for so long. But today, it's like it solidified that things are starting to look up. I hope it stays this way for a long time, I still don't fully grasp the fact that I don't need to stress anymore. Wow.

Anyway... one more reason it was a great day was because I met Chelsea Handler today!!!! She had a book signing in Raleigh and I went with my friend Lindsay. We weren't allowed to take pictures with her, but I got a couple from a distance.

I f-ing LOVE Chelsea Handler. I think she is the most hilarious person, and she is teeny tiny in person! I knew she was thin, but she is so short! She's adorable, and really friendly and soo pretty, and... I'm going on and on, but I just love her and I'm so happy that I met her for 10 seconds of my life.

Sorry there are no food pics for today, but tomorrow I will be going to the Farmers Market again so I'm sure I will have lots of good stuff then. I hope you all are having a good day! See ya tomorrow :)

DIsappointing Dinner Fail

2010-07-29T21:33:00.000-04:00

Good evening bloggy friends! First of all, have you entered my fabulous first giveaway yet? If not, follow this link and leave a comment on the post. Winner is being chosen on Monday 8/2.

Today went by really fast for me at work. Actually, this entire week went by faster than normal, and I am so very happy about that. Tomorrow is only a 3 hour day because it is my company picnic, and early release day. And then... tomorrow afternoon I am going to CHELSEA HANDLER'S BOOK SIGNING!!!! I am so excited, and even though she is in a rush and you cannot take pics or really talk to her, I am super excited to see one of my fav comedians in real life. I had to get a ticket for the line because she is only there for an hour, and in alphabetical order, I am in the "D" category. So I am sure I will get through. Early release day + Chelsea Handler = Fabulous Friday.

I didn't really think through dinner today before J left and took the car with him, so I was stuck with whatever I could scrape up. It wasn't good, or really healthy, but I know you wants pics anyway so here it goes...

That would be a portobella mushroom gardenburger with spinach, avocado, and onion on toasted wheat bread, paired with ~~freezerburnt~~ frozen Ore-Ida fries and cheese. I'm not going to lie. This was not a good dinner. I didn't even finish it. You are probably wondering what I wanted, well, honestly all I wanted was my bagel from last night. Yep. My very observant boyfriend of 3 years made the following intelligent comment to me last night: "Do you know that all of your favorite foods are like, breads and pasta?" No. Kidding. 3 years people, 3 years and he thinks he just made some sort of grand announcement. Bagels make me happy. I am a simple girl.

Since I couldn't have a bagel, I raided the fridge till I came up with this.

This would be cinnamon raisin toast topped with lots of Earth Balance and cinnamon sugar.

If I couldn't have my bagel and cream cheese, I had to have something carby and earth-balance-y and sweet. If ever there was a childhood meal throwback..

Well, it's 9:30 and I believe I am going to pass out now. I am really sleepy for some reason, and I need to start going to bed when I am tired instead of staying up for some reason and then not getting enough. Not to mention that you saw that bottle of water, and I will probably be up to pee at least once tonight. Anyway, I will probably see you tomorrow, but if not, J has requested another trip to the Farmer's Market and I will post about that this weekend. HE requested it. I almost passed out. Maybe I am winning the war. Have a great night and a Fabulous Friday everyone :)

CSN Stores Giveway

2010-07-29T13:23:00.000-04:00

Why, hello all LSD readers. (Wow, I just realized that is a drug name. Excellent..) Yes, it's really me, posting in the middle of the day, AT WORK... scandalous. Anyway, as you can see from the title, I am excited to announce my very first giveaway. CSN stores contacted me about offering one lucky reader a gift certificate in the amount of $40 to use on one of their websites. I have never done a giveaway before, but I always knew that IF I did one, it would have to be something that I myself would want to win. I went and checked out this website for you, (yes, I am generous,) and realized that this place has literally everything. Dinnerware, dog beds, suitcases, home decor.. everything. As a blogger who cooks, (duh,) owns a dog, travels, and wishes she could decorate her apartment, I thought this would be perfect :)

Official ways to enter are this: Leave me a comment saying why you want the gift certificate. If you want to be entered again, post about this giveaway on your blog and leave me the link in a separate comment. That's all I got for ways to enter, I'm not going to go all crazy about following on Twitter and all that, just those two things. I will randomly select a winner on Monday, August 2nd. (Oh, and this can only be for US and Canada readers only. I don't think I have many international peeps anyway, but I am so sorry if I do!!)

Have a great rest of the afternoon and I will see ya'll tonight!

Kitchen Slave

2010-07-28T22:14:00.000-04:00

It's been a LONGG day. And if anyone suggests that my annoying coworker, my OTHER annoying coworker, my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend seemed worse today because of PMS, well, I wouldn't really be able to argue with you. But seriously.. I think they all reserve extra ammo just waiting for this time. At least now I have chilled out. And no worries, nothing serious, just really irritated a lot of the day. I think J watched Everybody Loves Raymond, the episode where Ray tries to get Debra to take pills for her PMS, and she yells at him to give her a hug. I was all pissed off and next thing I know I'm getting a hug? Oh well. I guess it worked :)

Before the whole argument over nothing and hugging incident, I was making him dinner to take to work. He usually takes sandwiches, but I feel bad because it's a manual labor job and I feel like he needs more than deli meat sandwiches and gatorade to get him through the night. (It breaks my heart to have to reveal that my boyfriend eats this way.) So after my successful eggplant parm, I decided to make chicken parm for him. It was basically the same steps, except I first dipped the chicken in a mixture of flour, garlic powder, oregano and basil. Then I used the egg, panko breadcrumbs, and baked at 425 for a half hour. I gave him some linguine, homemade sauce, and some parmesan and mozzarella cheese to put on top. Hopefully he likes it, he had to rush out so I didn't even get pics of the masterpiece except for this one, of the leftover chicken.

Shiny..

So, what does the chef eat after she so nicely cooks gourmet meals for her boyfriend?

Bread and water. That's right, prison food. (Actually, this was a delicious onion bagel from Whole Foods, smothered in Earth Balance and organic cream cheese, but that is neither here nor there. It really is water though, just in a lemonade container. Trying to be green and reuse, yo.) I am trying to hydrate more at night now, for my morning runs. You know.. the invisible runs that haven't happened yet. So basically all I'm doing is trying to see how many times a night I can wake up to pee. Oh well. I will appreciate it on the day that I wake up and actually go, right? I was still a little hungry, so I had some fruit and granola.

I almost had a stroke when I realized I was out of granola this morning. I am having a food obsession lately with vanilla Greek Chobani, berries and granola. I finished the last of the granola yesterday and totally forgot that I was out. Thankfully I had a couple of Vans waffles in the freezer that came to the rescue. Once I toasted them and ripped them into pieces and mixed them in, all was right again. But I went and bought granola right after work today. I don't want to go through that again!

And here is a question... see the liquid in the bowl? That's almond milk. When I buy almond milk, it looks like milk. This past weekend I bought the WF brand kind for the first time and it came out looking like dirty water. And it tastes like very watered down almond milk. Yes I shook it and everything. Is this normal? It tasted fine and everything, so I'm not sure what's going on.

Please excuse my extreme snarkiness and sarcasm throughout the post today. I blame PMS. ~~(No comments from those in real life who know that I'm actually pretty much like this most of the time, but try to tone it down some for my internet friends. Shhh..)~~ Come back tomorrow though, because I have some blog-news to share. Goodnight :)

Spaghetti Sauce, Part II

2010-07-27T21:20:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone! I hope you are all having a good week so far... it's hump day tomorrow! Which reminds me of a hilarious slogan at Bonefish when my friends were here. They have this great appetizer called Bang-Bang Shrimp, and they were running a special this month for the appetizer for $5 on Wednesdays. They said they were officially changing Hump Day to Bang Bang Wednesday. Totally inappropriate and I laughed so hard. Anyway, I was going to go for a run this morning but once again the temps were already in the 80's at 6:00am and it was so muggy. Thankfully, it rained and stormed all day today so it's much cooler out now. I actually shut my air conditioning off after letting Molly out and becoming chilly... since when does upper 70's, low 80's feel chilly?? Oh yeah that's right, when the past couple of weeks have topped out in the 100's. That's when.

Last night I decided I wanted to make eggplant parm with the eggplant from the Farmer's Market. In order to do that, I needed to make some homemade sauce. Since posting the recipe last year, I have had a couple people ask for a little more instruction. (Hi Juliana and Amanda!) It's really not hard or time consuming, and it makes such a good sauce. I wish I could take credit for it, but it's from my grandmother. Here we go:

Ingredients- that's chopped onion in the bowl

Sauteing the onion in olive oil and butter

Spices on top!!

All mixed up and ready to cook down

That's it! Simple right? To get the entire recipe, click here. I hope this helps a little for those who are interested.

I didn't take any pictures of the eggplant, but basically just sliced it, salted it, and let it sit for about 45 minutes. I rinsed it off, patted it dry, then dipped in egg followed by Panko breadcrumbs. Panko are the best breadcrumbs, try them once and you will never go back to the regular ones. Bake at 400 for about 20 minutes, flip, bake for another 10 minutes. Put on top of linguine, place sliced mozzarella on top, sauce on top of that, and sprinkle with fresh grated parmesan. A-mazing. I promise :)

I am off to watch a little TV and then bed early for me. I went out after work with some friends for drinks and had one giant beer. It was at least 2 regular beers, and I ate tater tots, and I'm not feeling great.. wonder why?? Here's hoping I can run in the morning! Have a great night :)

I'm Melting!!!

2010-07-25T18:48:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! I hope there are at least some of you who are escaping this heat wave. It's officially unbearable in NC right now, with the Raleigh area having a heat index of 112. (Actual temp: 102. Insanity.) I am sitting in my air conditioned apartment with the ceiling fan on high, and I'm still roasting away. I'm sad because this means that at least for tomorrow, I won't be able to go on my run :( It won't get below 80 tonight and it's going to be super muggy, so I don't think I will even try it. I don't do well being overheated, I like the heat but this is above and beyond. Hopefully it'll calm down for Tuesday morning.

Today was a good day. I went to church this morning for the first time in probably 8-10 years. I don't really discuss religion or my beliefs on this blog, but I have been feeling very strongly that I wanted to go since winter time. My work schedule prevented me from being able too, but now that I am no longer at Target, I decided now was the time. I had researched and found one right down the road from me, and it was very, very interesting. I grew up in a very calm, organized, quiet church. I hated going, I was always so bored, and that hour was the longest hour of my week. Today was definitely not boring. People were dancing, singing, running around, there was a full band playing music... It was quite a culture shock, but in a good way. I liked it, and I think I will be back. Everyone was so friendly, that was the first thing I noticed. It seems like a really good group of people.

Anyway, I was going to do some cooking for the rest of the day after church, but that is out of the question. I think I may need to go crawl in my freezer now. I hope everyone on the east coast is surviving these temps and finding some way to stay cool!

Raleigh Farmer's Market

2010-07-24T22:20:00.000-04:00

Today J and I went to the Farmer's Market for the first time. I knew this place was hardcore, seeing as they are open every day of the year, with the exception of Christmas. I heard it was huge. I heard it was great. But seeing was believing.... and DAMN. I didn't bring my camera, but there was one giant building of all NC produce, and another building with meats, wares, jams, honey, and some more produce. There were little restaurants all around.. it was insane. We didn't go into the restaurants, but we definitely visited the 2 buildings. They were open air buildings, and the heat index today was 112, but that didn't deter me. Even when I got home and had to wring my soaking wet dress out, I was happy we went. Everything we bought, (with the exception of strawberries and cherries,) was local. The meat is local, free range, organic, etc. And CHEAP. Let's talk about a huge bunch of kale for 80 cents.

The finds

Blurry Cherries

Blurry Strawberries

Meat for J

Flowers for fun and because they looked pretty :)

Dinner last night was Carraba's with my friend Lindsay. I asked the waiter if I could bring some of the spices home that they bring with the bread because I am totally obsessed, and he was able to hook it up. So tonight, I added those to some pasta with a chopped zucchini and olive oil, and a little fresh grated parmesan cheese. The fresh zucchini was SO GOOD. I had forgotten how good fresh produce is, and even though I get organic and all that from the store, it still is probably at least a week old. This was probably a day old, and there was a huge difference in flavor.

Tomorrow I have to finish up what little grocery shopping I have left, and J and I are going to church. I always hated church growing up, it was the longest hour of my entire week. But as an adult, I want to give it another try so we have narrowed it down to 3 to try, and tomorrow is number one. Wish me luck! I hope you all are having a great weekend :)

My Absence In Pictures

2010-07-22T20:24:00.000-04:00

(Yes, this is beer, just for our table)

Hope you enjoyed! I will be back with a real post tomorrow!!

Popping In To Say Hi!

2010-07-07T07:25:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone!!! Sorry that I've been MIA, and it's probably going to last a little longer too.. I have friends in visiting from NY, and I am also working 10 hour days at my job (my only job!!!) to make up for having Friday off. Needless to say, I haven't really had time to even read blogs, let alone write anything fantastic. I am so excited to have my girls here. I haven't been home since Christmas 2008, so its been a LONG TIME since I have seen anyone. Tonight we are going out to play Trivia at the bar, and tomorrow night we will be hitting up downtown Raleigh. Friday is the beach, (and possibly Saturday as well,) and Sunday is their last day :( Gotta make the most of it while they are here.

J started his new job yesterday and seems to like it. He will be working days for the first two weeks, 7:30-5. Since we share a car, this means that I am working long days by default, but my boss is nice enough to let me work 4-10's and take a weekday off. This means that one day next week I will have all to myself, I can't wait! When I think of having the full weekend, a weekday next week of my choosing, and then another weekend, I don't think I really understand it. I haven't had a break in so long, or a chance to fully enjoy weekends, so I am really looking forward to being able to do this. Starting out at the beach this weekend is a pretty great way to kick it off as well, don't you think?

Anyway my friends, I am going to get started on my day now. I apologize for ~~neglecting you~~ taking a break, but real life is happening and I gotta take advantage. I will be back soon, and I will still be reading blogs in my downtime at work :) I hope you all have a great weekend coming up!!

My News.... Revealed :)

2010-07-02T14:00:00.000-04:00

Sorry I have sucked so bad at posting this past week, I have been busy with working and being TIRED and wanting to sleep in my spare time. I do have some pictures for my next post that I will share soon... whenever that next post is, either tomorrow or Sunday probably. But don't worry, I will be posting much more regularly now. Are you wondering why?
I have tonight off from Target so I am going to my friend Jenny's for a party that her and her husband are throwing for friends and neighbors. (Yes, my friend Jenny whose wedding I was recently in. Have I posted any of those pics?? Don't think so. Here you go, isn't she beautiful?)

The Bride and I (not so great of me lol)

Happy Couple :)

Thank goodness I switched my shift tomorrow in order to recover:) And then I work on the 4th for a small 4 hours.

Are you still wondering?

Yeah... the 4th is my last day at Target. My boyfriend got a full time job.

OMG HOORAY!!!!!!!

Sorry, but I am so excited. Honestly, this may be the best news ever that I post on this blog, other than being pregnant. And maybe my wedding announcement. As of now, this is the most excited I have probably ever been, so I can't really compare. Do you know what this means???? THIS means that I will have my nights free. I will actually have a weekend. It means that for the first time in almost 3 years, I can work a 40 hour week... and that will be enough.

The job itself is another overnight job, Monday - Thursday. Some people would be bothered by this, but I am a very independent person and need a lot of space, so having all that time apart is ok with me. It means I can come home and watch whatever I want to watch on TV, I can be on the computer all night long without feeling bad, I can read, chill with Molly, whatever I want. I am going to change my hours so that I don't have to be at work so early. I will have time to work out!!! Maybe I can lose this stubborn 20 pounds finally! Honestly, I don't even know what I will do. I am so happy that this happened at the beginning of summer so that I can enjoy the summer and good weather and be at the pool and beach on the weekends. Ahhh....

So that's it. My news. 10 more hours at Target and then it's over. I still don't fully realize my new freedom, but I am definitely excited about it.

PS If anyone is reading this thinking that it would be a good plan to try something crazy because my boyfriend won't be home, be warned that I own a LARGE pitbull, and she isn't friendly. And her owner isn't either :)

What Are You Drinking??

2010-06-25T21:50:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone :) I hope you all had a good Friday. Mine is a REALLY good one, because not only do I not work at Target tonight, I don't need to go in tomorrow till 4!! So it truly feels like a "Friday" to me, and not just another day. I did of course work at my full time job today, and it went by fairly quickly. I didn't have a lot of my own work to do, so I spent the day helping my boss with his grunt work. I don't ever really want to be a manager, too much busy work, spreadsheets, and nonsense to do all day.
My older readers know that I started this position at my full time job back in January. Before then, I had a position with the business-part of my company, with a small, close-knit team. I worked with them for 2.5 years, and they were all pretty used to the stuff I ate, and were curious, and sometimes wanted to try it. My new team, now on the IT side of the building, is a much bigger team, less close, and looks at me sometimes like I have 2 heads for what I bring in to eat.

Case in point...

(Sorry for the dirty stove, I promise it's clean now lol.)

I have one of these most mornings of the week. A much larger version, it usually fills a travel mug, and has some variety of fruit, powders, and spinach or kale. I have been in my department now for 6 months, and people are finally letting their curiosity get the better of them, so I have been recently asked by a lot of people.. "What on earth are you drinking?" I think it's hilarious. I always ask if they just noticed that I bring this in all the time, and they usually say no, they have noticed for a while, but never wanted to ask. I tell them, they usually get a grossed out look, smile politely, and walk away surely thinking, she's crazy. I have posted about green smoothies before, I started drinking them during my raw experiment and never looked back. I really like them a lot. Mine usually contain some combination of the following: banana, strawberries, blueberries, mango, kiwi, spinach, kale, hemp protein powder, maca powder, raw chocolate powder, peanut butter, vanilla extract... one time I even put canned pumpkin in, added cinnamon and nutmeg, and it was pretty decent. I have had them with all those fruits at once, and some with just spinach, banana, peanut butter and water. I drink them because I really dislike cooked spinach, and I will put way more greens into a smoothie than I will into a salad. Plus, who wouldn't want to get most of their veggie servings out of the way in the morning, and have it all taste like fruit?

Sadly, this morning I had oatmeal. Plain Jane, I know. I jazzed it up with a half pint of blueberries and some cottage cheese, but then I realized tonight that I didn't get any greens today. So..

This would be salad with spinach, kale, an apple, and some grated cheddar cheese, all drizzled with Annie's Goddess dressing. Usually I like my salads with a lot more "stuff," but its so hot and I'm not all that hungry. Plus, I made more guacamole and its chillin in the fridge, so I need room for that later!

Anyway, I am off to watch some Bethany Getting Married.. Lord knows I love me some Real Housewives and anything Housewives-related! Tomorrow I am thinking I may wake up early to beat the heat for a run, and then off to the pool before work. I hope everyone has a great Saturday!

More Shiny New Things

2010-06-24T07:51:00.000-04:00

I finally went yesterday and got new running shoes. FINALLY. It was quite the experience, since you all know I am pretty new to running and my sneaker-shopping in the past has consisted of me picking out the cutest pair and taking them home. Oh no my friends... this is not the case at a running store. I went to Fleet Feet in Raleigh with my friend Lindsay, because the runners I know highly recommend the store. An hour later, I walked out of the store with those Saucony running shoes, 2 pairs of running socks, and one pair of compression socks. You read that right. AN HOUR. I'm not complaining, because they did a fantastic job, but they measure your feet sitting. Then standing. Then you sit again, they mark something with a pen, you stand, they mark it again, and they measure the distance. (This is to see how much your arch collapses, apparently.) They watch you walk. They go to the back and bring out 4-5 pairs of shoes. You put them on, go outside, and they watch you RUN. In every single pair. I am more than confident after all that, that I got the right pair for me. It was exhausting, but worth it. And the compression socks that I bought for, ahem, $60? Worth every penny. I took it all out for a little test last night, and brought Molly for a walk around the complex. The shoes are making all the difference, and the socks are divine. I am SO wearing them to Target later.
The new shoes are going to make it really hard to come up with an excuse not to go running. Other than the oppressive and overwhelming heat, there honestly IS no excuse. I need to get up and go, end of story. I'm excited though, because now I see just how bad my last shoes were, and I think it will make the whole experience much better. Oh yeah, and that heat I just mentioned? The high today is going to be in the triple digits. My county has a heat advisory AND an air quality advisory. Tomorrow's high, in the 90's, is being referred too as a "cold front" on the news. I've been here for 3 years now, so I should be used to this, but a cold front in Upstate NY is usually something in the 20's or colder. Not the 90's. But I have my sweaters ready just in case...

Guacamole and Smoothie Pics From Yesterday

2010-06-22T10:56:00.000-04:00

The New Processor :)

Guac Ingredients

Blurry pic of finished guac

Dessert! :)

Oh Yes, The Girl CAN Cook..

2010-06-21T22:13:00.000-04:00

Don't you hate how everything in the house seems to run out at the same time? This happened to me this week, so on my shopping trip today I not only needed the regular stuff, but also dog food, cat food, hairspray, and something new I have been wanting to try- Xanthum gum. Hairspray was $20, dog food + cat food was $20, and the Xanthum was $12. I also wanted Chia Seeds, but since those ALSO cost $20, they will have to wait. Not to mention the $25 food processor I just bought, but already love.

And speaking of that, guess what I made tonight? GUACAMOLE!!! (I apologize for lack of pictures because I actually took some, but I can't get them to download. After speaking with my techie friend tomorrow, I will post them for y'all.) Anyway, contrary to the post title, I did not actually cook anything, but I made guacamole. And it turned out fabulous. I tried making it before, but I sort of mashed it all together in a bowl and even after it sat in the fridge, it still tasted like separate flavors. Guac-fail. The processor made it all come to life!

I got the recipe a long time ago from allrecipes.com, so that's about all the credit I can give to it, but here it is:
Two avocado's
One roma tomato (but I wished I had used two)
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
Half cup of onion
Juice from one lime
Sea Salt

I blended the avocade first, and then gradually added the rest till it was all creamy, and let it sit in the fridge for about an hour. After sitting, even J liked it. And he has never eaten guacamole since I have known him, claiming he hates it. (For the record, J claims this about a lot of stuff he has never tried.. and then he tries it... and likes it.) I had a few chips loaded with the guac, and set it back. It will definitely be making an appearance in my lunch tomorrow.

It was BLAZING hot today in NC. The weather is showing temps of solid 97 all through the week, with no sign of letting up. The heat actually makes me lose my appetite, so I didn't eat dinner tonight. I did want to use my new Xanthum gum though, so I blended up a smoothie with banana and strawberry, and two teaspoons of the gum, but it was only meh. I think I used too much, and it took the flavor of the fruit away. I will need to experiment with it to make everything just right.

What else, what else... my news that I have been teasing you with should be out, one way or the other, by the end of the week. So everyone still cross your fingers! I won a raffle at work today, and got an organic tshirt from Sunchips. Random, I know. Oh, and my parents told me today that they are sending me money for a new pair of running shoes!! Hooray!! That will be my incentive to get back in the game. I haven't run since the shooting, because I have been nervous that it would release a ton of emotions and I would be stranded on the side of the road crying, but I think I'm ready to get back in the game. I kind of want to run the Virginia Rock N Roll marathon 2 Septembers from now, and seeing as I can only run a half mile before needing to walk, I need to get on some training ASAP.

That's all for tonight. Have a great night, and I hope to have some pictures of my masterpiece up for your viewing pleasure tomorrow :)

Fancy-ness

2010-06-19T20:26:00.000-04:00

I feel like I have officially joined the land of the "real" food bloggers. Ladies and gentlemen, yesterday I bought my very first food processor!!! I cannot tell you how excited I am to now be able to make all those elusive recipes that I see other bloggers making, only to be restricted by my lack of said processor. I can finally make guacamole! I can make Angela's banana soft serve. I can make a crapload of stuff from Julie, and Avery. Possibilities are endless. Do you have a food processor recipe you want to give me?? Because I can't wait to break in the bad boy!!
I had the work schedule from hell this weekend. Starting Friday at 7am, I worked 24 hours out of the following 32. NIGHTMARE. I am currently laying in bed with the laptop, trying to avoid walking because my feet hurt so bad. And in case you thought maybe I would get a break, well, you would be wrong. Up and at it again tomorrow for a lovely 8 hour shift at Target. I was dreading this weekend all week long, and I am probably the only person on the planet who can't wait for Monday. I work at Target only 20 hours next week... tomorrow being 8 of those hours. I just need to get through tomorrow..
I am also not ashamed to admit that the majority of my dinner tonight was a DQ blizzard. Its so damn HOT in NC lately, temps right around 100 for the past week and forecasted for all next week. I had no plans for this when I left work today, but all of a sudden I had a craving and had to get it. It was ah-mazing. For someone who usually has food guilt, I have no regrets. Because it was PERFECT.
I am debating taking Molly for a walk later tonight, after it cools down. It depends on how my feet feel. My poor feet.. and yes, I wear good shoes. Its the bad leg blood circulation that runs in my family, thanks to all the women on both sides. For now, I am going to veg and read some blogs, watch some TV, and decide my walk later on. Have a lovely Saturday night :)

Cosmo Should Never Write About Health Again

2010-06-16T19:44:00.000-04:00

I told you in the last post that there was an article that I read in this month's Cosmo that almost made me break out in hives.. it pissed me off THAT MUCH. I'm not gonna lie, I do love Cosmo. One would think I would have outgrown it by now, but no. It definitely makes for some entertaining reading, right along with US Weekly and People.

The offender in this month's issue was an article called "Staying Healthy Just Got Easier." It supposedly debunks 7 standard health rules, and replaces them with some really, really crappy advice. I am only going to talk about the ones that truly bother me, but even still, there is no real way to make this a short post. If I'm already boring you, stop now.

Here are the standard rules, the ones that they say no longer apply:

Rule One: "You Must Drink 8 Glasses Of Water A Day." Now, I do agree that this is not for everyone. Some people need more or less, depending on climate, activity level, etc. And some drinks such as herbal tea, etc, can be a decent replacement for plain water. But the article doesn't expand on this at all. In fact, a quote is used by a women's health specialist who says, "As long as you are drinking water or other beverages throughout the day, just use your thirst as a general guide." So many things wrong with this sentence... first of all, what kind of beverages? Does soda count? Hawaiian Punch? So I can drink 8 Dr Peppers a day and get the same benefits as 8 glasses of water a day? Um... I think not. And as far as using your thirst for a guide, in a perfect world, people wouldn't get super thirsty all the time. It's the first sign of dehydration. You should be drinking BEFORE you get thirsty.

Rule Two: "You Have To Work Out For An Hour Daily" While I think every little bit counts, every single article (NOT in Cosmo,) that I have read states this as a fact. On most days, people should get 30-60 minutes of a sweaty workout. Do we all do this? No. But SHOULD we? Yes. This is possibly the most infuriating one of all to me, because it pretty much says point blank, that when you add up activities such as running errands, walking up the stairs, and cleaning, you get more than half your weekly workout. Oh really?? There is an actual chart at the bottom of the page that shows that in a day, if you have sex for 10 minutes, run errands for 10 minutes, and clean for 10 minutes, you have met your exercise quota for the day. I want to slap whoever wrote that out. Let me say this... I work two jobs, one of which is standing for anywhere from 4-8 hours at a time. I am constantly walking back and forth up and down the front end. I do all the grocery shopping, I live on the 3rd floor, and I occasionally clean my house. I also live with my boyfriend, and well, let's leave it at that. I still manage to be 20 pounds overweight. But I guess the 20 minute stroll with Molly, the 2 hikes up and down 3 flights of stairs, and loading my dishwasher tonight was enough.

Rule Five: "You Need Tons Of Fruits And Veggies To Meet The Requirements" Well, no. Not a ton. But they are the best foods for you, hands down, and should make up a good percentage of what is eaten in a day. Its more the advice afterward that bothers me. Its the paragraph that says, "They count toward your fruit and veggie requirements even if they're dipped in chocolate, battered in tempura, pureed in sauces or soups, or piled on top of a pizza." According to the geniuses at Cosmo, I can eat chocolate dipped fruit, deep fried veggies, and pizza by the gallon as long as it's the veggie option. Seriously?

There was another rule about sleep that I'm not even going to bother with. This post is long enough already, but you get the gist of the article. I really hope it was written by a third grader, (although I also hope a third grader doesn't consider sex a form of exercise.) I am so let down by this entire thing. In the age where cancer, diabetes and heart disease are running rampant through our society, at a time when obesity levels in adults AND children are hitting an all time record high, at a time when we really need to all be making some serious decisions about our health and well being... THIS is the crap people are going to read?? Not everyone is educated about food, and health, and exercise, and how to lead a healthy lifestyle. So it breaks my heart to think that some girl is going to open this magazine, come to this article and read about how running errands and topping her pizza with veggies and washing it all down with a soda is okay. She is going to think that as long as she cleans her house and goes grocery shopping, this is enough exercise for the day. Wow Cosmo, way to contribute to the already serious health issues of America. I suggest a little more research next time.

A Little Of This And That

2010-06-15T07:39:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! I am trying really hard to get things back to normal around here. I am slowly feeling my mood improve as the days go by, and I am considering taking Target up on their offer of 3 free counseling sessions to get a little more of a boost out of this mood. We will see. Anyway, I have a post in mind that I want to do, bashing a Cosmo article that I recently read, but since I don't have it in front of me I will do it later. (Disclaimer: I usually love Cosmo as mindless reading, but this article really struck a nerve. You will see..) So, I have some random info to share today.

I finally got a Twitter account. I always made fun of Twitter, but then saw that it was one more thing I can link my blog too, so I sucked it up and did it. It's on my sidebar, so follow if you want! I'm still figuring it out, like my picture for example... how annoying that it needs to be a certain size. I have like 7 pictures out of a million that are small enough.
Last week I came home to see a huge section of the yard right next to my building that is marked off with caution tape and stakes. I was curious what they could be building there, so I went into the office and asked. Worst case scenario ensued... they are building a DOG PARK. Right under my window. If you remember, Molly HATES dogs. We have a pet station in that yard, and she freaks out if a dog goes there, barking and going crazy till they leave. Can you imagine the chaos if there is an entire DOG PARK under the window? J works nights and sleeps during the day. I know you see how this can be bad. We may seriously need to switch apartments, because I know damn well we wouldn't have chosen that particular one if the park had been there when we moved in.
I went out with friends to see SATC2 on Saturday. By the way, Saturday was a great day. I had it off from Target, and I laid in the sun all afternoon. When I went down to the pool, two girls called me over to hang out because they were trying to start a party. One was really tan, and I pointed it out and said I was jealous. She said, "Well, you are really skinny and able to wear that string bikini, so we're even." Um yeah. Friends for life now, she called me skinny.
Oh yeah, SATC2. It was very cute and hilarious. Not as good as the first one, in my opinion, but it was still a fun movie. And I'm not sure if they were actually filming in the Middle East, but wow.... wherever they were filming was beautiful, and I want to go there.
I still don't have an update on the good news that I said I may have in my last post. It might be a couple of weeks, or not at all. But I didn't forget, and I will definitely follow up if/when it happens :)

So that's all for this morning. I want to thank you all again for your awesome support during the past few weeks. I love all my blog friends!! Have a great day :)

I'm Still Here

2010-06-08T21:57:00.000-04:00

I have been a little MIA lately. I feel like ever since last week, all my regular habits have gone out the window. I'm not exercising, I'm not eating very well, I'm not blogging... I'm pretty much going to work, coming home, taking naps because since I don't sleep well at night, I am SOO tired all the time, watching mindless TV and zoning out. I need to get out of this funk. I started slowly getting back to eating like normal. I'm not there yet completely, but I'm trying. I would swear that I've gained 10 pounds in this week and two days since the shooting, although I can't be sure since I stopped weighing myself a couple of months ago. I think I look more puffy in the face, and my jeans are a little tighter. I work at Target the rest of the week till Saturday, so my goal for myself for Saturday is to go for a run. Molly will be happy, she has been on my final nerve for the past few days and I think it's pent up energy. I have taken her for a couple of walks but I don't think it's enough for her. Hopefully she can calm down till then. Other Saturday plans include laying by the pool, and maybe SATC2 with some friends. J will be gone that day, he is in a wedding. I am not going because honestly, I just don't feel up to partying and dancing and all that. A relaxing day in the sunshine sounds a lot more appealing.
I"m hoping that if I can get back into running at least a couple times a week, my mood will start to improve. I haven't gone because I seriously worried that it would release emotions and I would end up all upset on the side of the road, but I think I will be ok now. I have dealt with depression before, and I can feel myself slipping into it and I have to do something about it now before it gets worse. It's been 4 years since my bout with it, and I have no desire to revisit those feelings. I don't want to be on meds, I don't want to NOT smile and laugh and have a good time. I get in bad moods like any other person, but they usually go away after a day or so. I know this is a different situation, but I don't want to let it have lasting effects.
To try to end on a good note, I got some news today that has the potential to become GREAT news. I don't want to share it right now because I don't want to jinx it, or talk about it and then have to explain that it didn't happen, but I pray, pray, pray that all works out. I will update you all when I know what's going on!
Oh yes, and thanks so much for all the support from you all. It has definitely been one of the worst times of my life, and I so appreciate all the nice comments from everyone. I have some really great readers :)

The Aftermath

2010-06-03T22:33:00.000-04:00

This week since Sunday has been a long week, but at the same time it has been a blur. Tuesday was the only day I went to work so far. (Monday I was already off due to Memorial Day.) Tuesday I was ok, I went to the full time job and to Target afterwards. The entire mood at my store has changed, I don't really know how to describe it other than to say it's more somber. There were three coworkers who were having a hard time so I spent my evening comforting them, talking to others, and working.. in that order. It's fine though, the store has been really slow and there are people from other stores working so that we can all be free to speak with grief counselors, talk to each other, etc. For all the shit I like to talk about Target, I really have to commend them for how they are handling this whole situation. No one has to work if they don't want to come in. You can leave early. You can come in and wander around and do nothing. There has been catered food in the break room all week long. And like I said, other Target employees from other stores have been amazing, coming in and taking over so we can do our thing. There is also extra security, including an armed police officer. Although I know the odds of another shooting are slim, it's still a major comfort to see the officer walking the front.
Anyway.. back to Tuesday. I came home after my short 4.5 hour shift totally exhausted and worn out. I went to bed. I woke up from a nightmare that I didn't remember with tears running down my face, my eyes all puffy and sticky, and decided I needed a day off. All day on Monday, I got, "Were you there? Did you know her? How horrible.." And then some questions I didn't want to be asked, "How many times was she shot? Where was she shot?" I was not in the mood, and already totally shaken up from my dream. I called into both places and went back to bed till noon. Spent the rest of the day alternately sleeping and watching TV.
Today was the funeral. It was primarily in Spanish, but it didn't matter, I knew the deal. The eulogy was in English, and the family in utter despair. I have never been to such an emotional funeral, where the sister was screaming in the aisle and in such hysterics she couldn't even stand up on her own. It was horrible. I'm also pretty sure that it is a Catholic tradition to have an open casket, and hers was closed. Just a stark reminder of what had happened.
Target had a little reception afterward with food, and we went and were all together and talked. It was good that they did that, so that the memorial ended on a slight up note, because directly following the service when we were all standing in the parking lot, most of us were crying and hugging. We left Target with dry eyes and some laughs, which we all really needed.
I came home and took a nap, and woke up still tired. After some thinking, I called in to the full time job for tomorrow. I think I would be pretty useless, and I need to try to get over this slight depression that I'm feeling. It's a weird feeling, not like I will burst out crying any moment, but more like a depression, where I don't want to talk to anyone about anything and I don't want to be around anybody. I have been telling myself all week to get up and exercise, but the most I have done is short walks with Molly. Maybe I will try again tomorrow. The plan is maybe a run, and then get out in the sun till I go in to Target. I'm hoping that this weekend will ease some of these feelings, and I will be better by Monday.. at least able to not dread going to work, and being around everyone with all their questions.

Comment Moderation

2010-06-01T11:24:00.000-04:00

I just realized that since I changed my template, no one was able to leave comments. At first I thought you all left me, but then I realized there must be a problem...and now it's fixed. So if anyone wanted to leave anything, I apologize!

One Of The Most Horrifying Days Of My Life

2010-05-30T23:14:00.000-04:00

Today, in theory, was supposed to be a good day. I went to the beach in NC for the first time since moving here 3 years ago. I love the ocean. I love the waves, the noise, the sand, everything. It's one place in the world where I feel truly relaxed.
My friends and I were driving around looking for a parking space when I got a text message. It was from my friend Jen, who wrote, "Rachel, thank God you aren't at work today. There was a shooting." I read it and it took a minute to process. Since I know Jen from Target and not my full time job, AND it was Sunday, I knew what "work" she was talking about. And I freaked out. I called her. She told me someone had walked into Target with a gun and shot and killed a cashier. I am a cashier. I know every single cashier who works there, some better than others, but I know EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. She is telling me in a crying rush, "Rachel, Becca is in there, Michael is in there, Nick and Camille and Dawn are in there..." and these are all names of good friends, bosses, but it doesn't even really matter at this point because I am thinking of everyone, all my friends and all the people I dislike and I can't stand the thought of this happening to a single one of them. Her and I hang up with the promise to call if we hear anything, and it's the beginning of a very long couple of hours to put everything together. I am thinking it was a random shooting. I am remembering the final episode of Grey's, and realizing that people that I know are actually living this fictional nightmare. It is REALITY. I wonder if more than one person is dead, I wonder who it is, I pray to God that people are safe, I cry and shake uncontrollably for a while. My friends don't know what to do, one is rubbing my shoulders, they are telling me it's ok, and I don't really remember how but we found a parking space.
To make this long story short, we eventually found out that it was not a random killing. It was a man with a purpose, who wanted to kill his ex girlfriend. He went to the end of the checklane behind her and shot her in the back. He had apparently no desire to kill anyone else, and that is one small thing I find comfort in. There was obviously panic and chaos and terror and screaming as people fled the store. Apparently this coward of a man killed himself when confronted with the police.
I do not really discuss religion or my beliefs on this blog, but I have to say that it was only by the grace of God that I was not there today. I rarely take weekend days off, but as you know, I had taken a long weekend for the holiday to give myself a break. Other than today, I work basically almost every single Sunday. I most likely would have been there. What would I have done?? My biggest fear in life is dying by a violent act. I know everyone fears this, but it's actually something that I think about. I have had thoughts about what I would do if there was a shooting at Target, and I honestly think had I been there today, something inside of me would have probably broken and never been repaired. I think God knew this. I think He gives us no more than we can handle, and He knew I would not be able to handle this. I think He had a hand in making sure no one else was hurt or killed. I imagine all my coworkers, not knowing what was happening, running out in panic and fear, and it kills me. It kills me.
This has now made national news. It is on CNN, and you can read about what happened. Don't read the comments underneath the story. I made that mistake and I am so angry I can barely type this out. To the person who said all people who work for the Target store are stupid and uneducated, ~~fuck you~~ may you never ever be in this position. Not one person that I know that works there is stupid. They are doing their best in this rough economy. They are me, trying to supplement a really good income to support more than themselves. And they are her.... and mother and grandmother, who worked because it gave her something to do.
So to end this, I want to say:

Guadalupe F. Rosas,

I am devastated that this happened to you. I know you and I got off on the wrong foot when I started and for this I am so sorry. I am grateful that we were able to put this aside and became good acquaintances over the past few months. I am happy that I got to work next to your register last weekend and have a conversation. Thank you for being interested in my life and asking so many questions, and for telling me a little bit about you. I know you are a private person, and that I didn't know you very well, but I can say that you were a very classy woman and that I will miss you. I will never ever forget this day, and I pray to God that what happened to you, happened quickly and you didn't feel pain. You don't deserve to feel that kind of pain. You deserve to be with God now, and at peace. Please rest in peace. I will be praying for your family and for you. I am so sorry this happened.

I need to go now. Please, everyone say an extra prayer for this woman who worked at Target to stay busy, who had children and grandchildren, who had a smile for everyone and who was taken too soon.

Grocery Stores And Obesity?

2010-05-29T23:40:00.000-04:00

The other night, J brought this article to my attention. Basically what this article says is that people who shop at health stores such as Whole Foods tend to be skinnier and healthier than people who shop at conventional stores. I read it, and re-read it, and thought about it, and decided that this makes sense. I don't know about most health grocery stores, but I do know about WF, and I know that they not only carry a higher than normal amount of organic foods, they also have standards for what they carry. They do not carry foods that have certain ingredients. They do not feature foods that have artificial flavorings, colorings, sweeteners, preservatives or hydrogenated fats. So even if a person doesn't really know what to look for on a food label, they would still be protected by default, as none of the foods in the store have a lot of what most processed foods have in conventional stores. It's not really a secret that I love WF, I went there today for the first time in a few weeks and got a ton of stuff and spent $125, and yes, that food is for mostly me, and will probably last about a week or two. It's ok though, because I like to support the stores that do what I think is the right thing in terms of foods and diet.
I want to make sure to say right now that I don't think that people who shop at conventional stores are always unhealthy and obese. I shop at Target half of the time. The difference is the selection, and people who don't know, who aren't informed, who are on a budget, are going to get the foods that they think are the best bang for their buck. Would it surprise you to know that pound for pound, most healthy options are cheaper than the unhealthy? I wrote an entire brochure on this in college for my local grocery store. Apples, for example, are MUCH cheaper per pound than chips. Produce in general is cheaper than meat. Brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole grain bread, all these are only marginally more expensive than their white counterparts. Reading food labels takes just a few minutes of time, and if products that contain HFCS or MSG are avoided, the impact on health is huge. My headaches have significantly reduced since making sure these two ingredients are eliminated from my diet.
It amazes me to think of things that seem obvious to me that have caused this country to be in this mess we are in today. For some reason, in the last hundred years, we have replaced good, healthy, organic produce with produce that is covered in chemicals and pesticides. We have upped meat intake, and it isn't meat that is roaming pastures and eating grass, it's meat that has been stuffed into crowded buildings, eating grain, eating ground up predecessors, getting antibiotic shots, getting growth hormone shots, and all of these chemicals and toxins get stored where? In the meat. That humans buy, and consume daily, two or three meals a day, and they want people to think these toxins DON'T transfer? DON'T cause problems? What else have we done? We have basically eliminated breastfeeding, portion sizes have more than doubled, we insist that carbs are the enemy and the more protein, the better. We add HFCS to almost every single processed food, we add folic acid which now is being shown to cause cancer, we have foods where the entire ingredients list is chemicals. And then we act surprised when obesity is slowly becoming the norm. We wonder why cancer rates are going through the roof. We don't understand the rising rates of diabetes, heart disease, all the things where the first thing questioned should be diet, but for some reason it's the last thing on anyone's mind.
I didn't really mean for this to turn into a rant. I get worked up when I think about how deep of a mess this country has gotten into with food and disease rates. I don't think everyone should be spending all their spare time reading up on health and nutrition and making sure they are getting all the right things at all the right times. I DO think that the people in charge of our food supply should be doing this. It infuriates me, the concept of making a profit over and above the health of people. Splenda, diet sodas, HCFS, MSG, genetically modified produce and meat from sick animals... somehow this is what is taking over the majority of our grocery stores. I am taking my small, tiny stand against it by spending my money elsewhere half the time, and spending more time reading food labels and making sure I am getting the best that is offered at other stores the other half of the time. I like to think that I have slowly influenced a few people to do the same, even J, who when I first mentioned that I wanted to buy organic, his exact word was "Ew." A couple of years later, and he mentions that he wants to be sure we are buying all the organic we can afford. He read a couple of articles that scared him, such as the one linked above, and has heard me talk about this endless times, and it is finally sinking in. I really want to think that it is slowly but steadily sinking in for the rest of the country as well.

Changed It Up!!

2010-05-24T18:24:00.000-04:00

I told y'all that I was REALLY wanting to change my template, what do you think?? I LOVE it, I have a small obsession with cherries so this was perfect. (I cannot do the tacky cherry things though, ya know, like seat covers for my car or anything... but I do have a cherry belly button ring!) I also changed the pic, that's one from the wedding with Jenny making a face, lol. I might still play around, stay tuned :)

Sorry AGAIN that I don't really have a lot to say. I guess I can tell you that I am about to shampoo my carpet and everyone cross fingers that the pet stains come out :( I may or may not go running, but I am so tired of this wet, slightly chilly, dark weather that I bet I don't go. Seriously, where is all this RAIN coming from? I would also like to add that I came home from work last night after downpours and thunderstorms all day long, and the lawn sprinklers were on. I'm sure they were on a timer, but my leasing office is open every day, they can't shut them off? The building is about to float away.

Molly is asleep on the floor next to me. She is dreaming about something and is barking a quiet little dream bark. She won't want to go running either. She is a tomboy for sure, but a total diva when it comes to rain. I can barely take her out to pee when it's raining, she gets all excited when she sees the leash, but as soon as we step out and she sees she is about to get wet, she will stop, look at me like, "bitch please," and turn right around. For real. This is not a water loving dog. The one good thing is that when I finally make her go out, because hello, she is not allowed to pee in the house no matter what the carpet stains may tell you, she does her business FAST. Then we come back, she shakes for about 10 minutes, and goes off and sulks until she dries off.

Well, I guess that solved the running problem. Tori, Dean, and RHNJ drama it is. (Oh yes, and does anyone else watch the RH? Anyone watching NY right now? Anyone else really only able to stomach Bethany and Alex right now?? Seriously, what is wrong with the others?? We have Jill the total victim playing drama queen, Luanne the "better than everyone but my man is creepy and totally gonna be on the news one day," Ramona with her crazy eyes, and Kelly- who I have no words for. Sonya, I don't know her well enough yet. But please, PLEASE people, don't judge NY based off this freakshow. I promise, the other 99.9% of us are normal.)

Drama Drama Drama

2010-05-23T12:51:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone,

Just a little post to tell you that I'm still here. I don't have a lot to say, it's been a rough week and weekend with a lot happening in my personal life and I have a lot that I am suddenly trying to work through. When I have time and I'm feeling better I will be back. Im still reading blogs though, you all are cheering me up more than you know!

Really Quickly, Very Important

2010-05-19T10:32:00.000-04:00

So, I promise this isn't going to be a political post but something was just brought to my attention and I am feeling really strongly about this. Apparently there is a bill trying to be passed with an ammendment that says that supplements will be regulated by the pharmaceutical companies, and therefore you will not be able to get vitamins and supplements without a prescription. Crap?? I think so. Anyway, if you want to send a letter to your Senator, click HERE, click on "Breaking News" in the center of the page, and you will be taken to an article to read about all of this and you can fill out a brief form against this revision that will be sent to your Senator.

Thanks everyone! Sorry to get all crazy :)